Feminists whats your opinion on men that have been victims

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No I have wised up and realized not to be overly nice because it is a sign of weakness it is a dog eat dog world.When people see you as being friendly they chew you up and spit you out.That is reality.

I do consider myself a feminist in that I think men and women should be treated equally, and if a woman freely chooses to stay at home and raise children, she should be able to do so. If a woman wants to work outside the home, she should be able to do that as well, even if she has a higher paying job than her S/O. A major pet peeve of mine is when a man says he's babysitting his biological children, when in fact, he's doing what a father should be able to do.

As for abuse, I'm a survivor of domestic violence, that was mostly emotional, but I do recognize that men can be victims as well. I do think that there needs to be more awareness of male victims of domestic violence, since most shelters are designed for female victims, so it would be much harder for a man to get out of an abusive situation. Also, anger management therapy tends to be geared toward men, even though there are women who would benefit from it. Abuse is wrong, no matter what genitalia the abuser has.

^exactly.

I also agree with this and I wouldnt mind being the stay at home father and raising the kids, due to a lot of changes in modern society, it is no longer uncommon for roles to be reversed. I am hoping to some day find someone who is on equal terms as I am, not too dominant and not too submissive I have also learned from past experience not to be overly nice or so submissive because that can be a cue to be walked all over.My biggest issue however to this day is trust, I just dont think I can trust anyone anymore, as a result I have become a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori . Even though I have issue trusting people I refuse to hate everyone, It is easy to be hateful and cold hearted but that is just an excuse to be a jerk, I refuse to go that route. Everyone deserves love and respect if they are kind hearted and have good intentions but unfortunatly not everyone agrees be it male or female and when it comes to being in an abusive situation its a two way street unfortunately the media only sees one side.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mzg6h8L0ndQ[/youtube] I sometimes have the tendancy of being like this.

I don't think this is reality people are generally good.

"People are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling" Dr. Cox.

I have come to a decision to no longer be a doormat and stick up for myself.Like a rattlesnake if I get stepped on I will bite back.Also look out for myself and not put myself below others.I will still be kind and caring but only if they deserve it and never let my guard down.

Last edited by AspieOtaku on 18 Sep 2012, 7:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To YOU they are, but not to me! I daresay that more that pretty much 100% of people I've known in my life have behaved towards me in a way that was to their benefit at my expense. IDK what kind of sheltered world you're living in but the reality you speak of is not one that I've ever experienced. And yet, my shrink has assured me that I'm not suffering from any sort of delusional thinking, so go figure.

I guess you're the type of person who chooses to believe what makes you happy, rather than trying to find the sobering truth about life as human on planet Earth.



And AspieOtaku, you have to learn when to be friendly and when to guard yourself. As they say, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Nasty people are out there, and there's really no sure fired way to completely avoid them. Most importantly, you have to know when to say 'no' to people and really mean it. A person who doesn't know how to say no is going to be taken advantage of.

^^ I know that now, the world is an unforgiving place and there are monsters who prey on good people by posing as nice and understanding people.When the victim leaves his/her guard down by falling for it they get attacked.I will not make the same mistake again.I have made sure to be more careful this time because of learning the hard way.What is also very frightening is that aspies such as myself tend to be easy targets of being in abusive relationships be it male or female.

Aspie Otaku, trading a dominant woman for a dominant man won't be a winning strategy in the end. Do what you want, without sucking up to people here.

I am not sucking up to anyone I have no need to suck up to anyone.I can agree with other peoples points and I may disagree. I am my own person I don't trust anyone anymore anyways. Sucking up gets a person nowhere and a waste of time.I am no longer talking about dominance or submissiveness anymore there is no purpose and its a waste of energy. I am not the same person I used to be call me pathetic if you will or a snivilling coward because I have a feeling that is what's on your mind but I am sticking up for myself for once and not going sit and do nothing I will not stoop to hating others. Spending too much hatred on others drains energy and well I'm normally not hateful. I am sorry with what you perceive me as sucking up I am not, and you are not obligated to forgive me.I am no longer trading dominance or submissiveness. I am neutral however I don't stand for inequality.Over the years I have learned to appreciate myself instead to making others happy at the expense of my own for it makes things worse. I will give my self respect however that I did not allow myself to turn into a monster and tear others down and become abusive like other people have become. It takes a strong will for someone to not let the hatred completly take over and consume them. I do have a long way to go on trust however and perhaps in a way that is a good thing. Earning my trust with anyone will take a lot of patience and hard work but if that person has earned it that person can trust me at least I hope so in return but I am no longer going to bend over backwards for nothing, and this time if someone is going to kick me while I am down I will break that persons legs *metaphorically speaking* otherwise I will never allow myself to fall down and be weak. Sometimes I wish I can make everyone happy but I know I cannot but at least I have tried but first I must make myself happy for a change so that way I can make other people happy. I wish abusive cruel and manipulative people never existed then there would be no more fighting but that will never happen, there are always going to be cruel heartless people out there. I do not understand why and I probably never will, but hatred is an endless cycle that generates more hatred and is contagious. As the years go by I have noticed more and more hostility among the populous I do not fully understand and now I am starting to think that one must also be hostile to survive as I might slowly be becoming hostile but only when I am cornered. I wish I could reach out to others and try to help others but now these days I am afraid my arm will get bit off *metaphorically speaking*. I wish everyone cared about each other and was there for each other when in need but that's a fantasy world. I did not come across this epiphany until after losing consciousness in a puddle of my own blood and spending a couple nights in a hospital.

I can't help wondering how much this is a US thing, too. If people are presumed to be or actually are more bastardy over there.

There are some sh***y people out there, no doubt. Most people are generally good, in that they'll at least purposely avoid doing wrong. And then there are some super nice people, too. The bastards out there will stick with those with low self esteem, because those who'll realise 'hang on - this person's a bastard! f**k this!' tend to move on.

If every person you meet finds you essentially objectionable to a degree they show or say it, it may be time to look within. It could well be a mass prejudice of sorts, or it could be because you're kind of a jerk. Please do not confuse or conflate this with victim-blaming - I'd like to be quite clear there. This isn't about abusive relationships, this is about day-to-day interaction.

It's a dog eat dog world if you hang around with dogs, particularly if you yourself are, well, edible.

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AspieOtaku & AspieRogue - Are you both in the US? Have either of you moved around much? Where/if you have any sort of social circle, what is it like?

IDK about him but I am. And lemme tell ya kid, the US is a highly competitive society that is very large, diverse, and stratified. As far as most people being basically good, try asking that question to Burmese peasants, or better yet to Congolese women(who've been brutally raped by militiamen). There is so much misery that people around the world suffer at the hands of other people that guys like you are too privileged and sheltered to understand. For the haves of this world, who not only enjoy creature comforts but social amenities, it's easy to believe that most people are good.

Well, any trouble you have with people clearly isn't down to you, what with your glittering personality and easy charm, eh?

You'll note I said most people, not all people.

You'll note you don't know a thing about my life, other than what I've shared on this board.

You'll note you confirmed my query about the US, and that this might give you pause to consider how things are in other countries, and that any problems you've had with people can't be all that easily universalised.

You may also like to note where bad things happen, many people struggle against those bad things, or are outraged and moved to want to help in some way.