PPR: Get something off your chest.

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Eggshells . . . eggshells everywhere . . . gotta watch where I step . . .

I think a lot of the world's problems both large scale and small could be solved if people learned to communicate more effectively

No one f*****g listens is what I'm saying

Purity culture and rape culture are the same thing, just in a different font.

People being worried about lifespans.

I'm already past the prospect of living longer (fear) or shorter (suffering).

Unlike most people who either just fear death or provoking to get closer to it for any reason -- I just didn't care.

I only care about the now.
And most of my nows are inconvenient.
Would that drive me to hope a little longer or wanting it to end it all sooner?

Reason why I want answers and solutions is to make my living less inconvenient -- not this anxiety ridden distress people are assuming a fricking health scare or some sort of FOMO.



Passing never helped me, that only made them more presumptuous.
Masking doesn't give me assurance, only more standards and expectations that I likely cannot compensate nor please.


In which 'human' is too conflated with 'neurotypicality'.
Yes, I already knew the issue of being autistic and then separating that from being a human.

And then there's that -- mistaking said humanity as neurotypicality.

But not a lot knew neurotypicality can be seperated from humanity, just as being autistic, and overall any form of being an allistic neurodivergence do?

Being a human is something universal in humans.
And that universal phenomenon is not akin to neurotypicality.

No, not everyone smiles when they're happy. No, not everytime a human feels nothing is equals to being cruel and sadistic and dangerous.

This is also why people have lots of misconceptions about empathy and how emotional literacy overly conflated with caring and compassion...

No, not all humans even have social needs. That trait is called asociality.
And no, that's not a personality trait nor anything associated with it is a trauma response -- and that's another thing; conflating lots of absences with either all inhumanity or all trauma.

Oh sure, the latter is a sympathetic POV.
But how dare they assume that the contrary is what they even want? All because of the idea of what being a human is 'supposedly'??


Unlike most people, and more so people in this forum...

... My chief complaint was I'm being too human...

Not lack thereof, not the whole 'I'm not human enough', along with whatever connection like being excluded or not relating to having feelings and caring enough.

And it's not even about vulnerability and sensitivity. It's this lack of control and choices, you see?

Those are the things I had thought and felt to live for.
Sure, while I lack or have less of one or two fundamental need, I have a greater need of another.

And unlike most people whose depressed because of their circumstances, mine is more to do with noticing the motions...

... How helpless being a human actually is.
... How dependent, how choiceless.
... How easily swayed and fragile.


I may already am on the surface, within my natural self, with all my behaviors and processes but ...

I don't want to be "normal".

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I hate most people that I have interacted with for more than one minute.

Most annoying lil dipshits
Talk too much about nothing, talk too loud and enthusiastically

"Huh" and "what" instead of "excuse me "

Judgmental

Impatient entitled superficial materialistic selfish

Common speech patterns get on my f*****g nerves s**t ("can you", "do you mind", "does that make sense?", "how are you?")

I regret the way I was too rough with the spoiled upper middle class brat (rolls eyes)

Most annoying lil dipshits make me wanna puke

I've said it before and I'll say it again; we'll all be talking Chinese one day

Should I ever attain and ascend past the need to transition and transcend everything within being a human...

... And then now what then?

That existing as a person is just a practice.
Or a PhD. Because it might as well just as hard.

Who knows? All is perception, all is relative, blah blah blah...

I don't know.
What am I to do with this life and living?


I don't feel excited.
I just feel bored as usual.

I may as well asked this question for practically a decade now since I've been playing catch up; "What should I do?"


Obviously, other than not making it complicated than it already did.
Obviously, other than just being passive, to make do or bare with whatever.

Or maybe I'm not in there yet.
Or maybe I never need to.


I could try and serve the greater good for all I care, pick a side and play as intended.

While I overcame the naive sympathetic empath instincts...
... I'm still contending with the impatience over the fact that not a lot of people had been keeping up. That's another thing.


As for the mundane...
The dilemma and imbalance between time pressure and speedrunning relentlessly, from leniency and complacency is something I'm trying to contend at the moment.

I get the extremes of contrasts of sheer stress from complete dependence. I want the real ability to be at the center.

In which I have my own paths and prerequisites, after years of research and observations as an neurodivergent.

And still trying to do the mundane of things. Smallest of things. Subtle things. Outcomes. Feedbacks.

Never needed to do something drastic nor live an extraordinary life.
I just want something else other than... Whatever I've been dealing this whole time.

As usual.
On repeat.

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I've found very little success in life. With every string of failures I've experienced, they all came with a consolation prize. The prize itself always something humiliatingly fitting for the situation I was in.

If I ever end up getting framed for a crime I didn't commit and get sentenced to death row and the guard decides to save everyone time & money and blow my brains out on the spot, my consolation prize better be a free lollipop. That would complete the experience.

Am I going mad or is Starmer putting on a different voice all of a sudden

And I'm not being funny or nothing but Rachel Reeves is looking and sounding more and more like AI every time I see her

Ana Kasparian has entered her Dave Rubin story arc.

Given the anonymity of social media, I think in some ways sexual harassment is a bigger problem now than it was in the past. It’s not something I would’ve predicted when I was younger.

Yeah, although strictly online harassment can be pretty extreme/severe in some cases. I experienced something particularly awful this week. I’m toying with the idea of making a thread about it. It’s a bit of a sensitive topic, though.

It’s disturbing to see the darker side of people - a side that they probably usually try to keep hidden.