A different subject I’d like to talk about

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League_Girl
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06 Jul 2022, 12:52 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
My 55 year old father married a 30 year old woman in 1987. Nobody ever batted an eye about that relationship. This was a rather common thing in 1987.



30 has been an adult long enough so it would be harder for an older guy to take advantage of her. That is why older men like to go for women under the age of 25 and why people do show concern. So that is why lot of people won't bat an eye for a 50 year old dating a 30 year old.


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kraftiekortie
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06 Jul 2022, 1:36 am

I don’t go for much younger women. I liked older women as a young man.

But I do know that a “normal” woman of 21 possibly could, in some ways, take advantage of me, a 61 year old man, because of my naïveté and inability to assert myself.



Mona Pereth
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06 Jul 2022, 8:57 pm

One of the strongest instincts of most humans is the desire to protect children -- especially their own children. This instinct exists for good reasons, obviously.

But, like other human instincts, the desire to protect children can be a source of great evil when carried too far, or when not balanced by other ethical principles, or when accompanied by ignorance. Examples:

1) One of the stated justifications for racial segregation was to protect white children. To this day, one of the favorite slogans of white nationalists is the "14 words," of which the last 5 are "... a future for white children."

2) When I was young, a lot of folks believed that all or most gay men were child molesters. Anita Bryant's anti-gay crusade had the name "Save Our Children."

3) The Satanic Ritual Abuse scare of the 1980's and early 1990's.

4) Here in NYC, local "civic associations" and "block associations" commonly oppose homeless shelters on the alleged grounds that they are a threat to local children.

5) And, of course, today's draconian "sex offender" laws. I agree with the views expressed in this thread by CubsBullsBears, funeralxempire, and League_Girl. I'll just add that I think this issue should be seen in the larger historical context of harmful moral panics in the name of protecting children.

Protecting children is a worthy aim. But too many people have treated the protection of children as an idol to which all other ethical values must be unconditionally sacrificed.

There is some debate over whether Hitler actually said the following:

Quote:
The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation.

Regardless of whether Hitler himself actually said this (someone claims to have tracked it down here), it is clear that that the emotional appeal of protecting children can be a handy tool for authoritarians.


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Last edited by Mona Pereth on 06 Jul 2022, 9:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.

SkinnedWolf
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06 Jul 2022, 9:23 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
One of the strongest instincts of most humans is the desire to protect children -- especially their own children. This instinct exists for good reasons, obviously.

I doubt how much of this is "instincts".
Chinese people are not indifferent to children. But I encountered this cultural shock here.


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cyberdad
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06 Jul 2022, 9:29 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Here’s a quote from the article:


“Shawna was deemed to be a sexual predator after pleading guilty to having consensual sex with a 14-year-old boy when she was 19.”

Sex with a 14 year old is not consensual. Disturbing stuff!


I think funeralempire's point is that she was inebriated and unable to discern how old the boy was when she slept with him. Knowing teen boys he probably lied to her as well.



cyberdad
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06 Jul 2022, 9:32 pm

SkinnedWolf wrote:
Hum, if I'm a 14-year-old boy, can I take the initiative to find a sexual partner and finally find a 19-year-old woman who agrees with me?
Such action does not seem unthinkable.


He will have a memory he will forever cherish and her life is destroyed.



funeralxempire
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06 Jul 2022, 9:41 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Here’s a quote from the article:


“Shawna was deemed to be a sexual predator after pleading guilty to having consensual sex with a 14-year-old boy when she was 19.”

Sex with a 14 year old is not consensual. Disturbing stuff!


I think funeralempire's point is that she was inebriated and unable to discern how old the boy was when she slept with him. Knowing teen boys he probably lied to her as well.


Multiple points, because I don't care about that age difference whether sober or intoxicated.

But I also find it deeply problematic to tag very young adults for the rest of their lives as sex offenders unless the crime was especially heinous and anyone insisting that case is especially heinous needs to stop wasting oxygen.

Beyond that, a judicial system needs to have the flexibility to consider nuance and degrees of severity as well as mitigating factors. A justice system that can't do that ends up being an injustice system.


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cyberdad
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06 Jul 2022, 9:50 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Beyond that, a judicial system needs to have the flexibility to consider nuance and degrees of severity as well as mitigating factors. A justice system that can't do that ends up being an injustice system.


We are talking about a system where judges wear stupid wigs and have the power to "arbitrate" based on subjective margins



SkinnedWolf
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06 Jul 2022, 9:53 pm

cyberdad wrote:
SkinnedWolf wrote:
Hum, if I'm a 14-year-old boy, can I take the initiative to find a sexual partner and finally find a 19-year-old woman who agrees with me?
Such action does not seem unthinkable.

He will have a memory he will forever cherish and her life is destroyed.

It depends on where they live.
In China, this will not bring any legal consequences to the both.
(This does not mean that China does not limit the age of sexual consent, but 14-year-old boys are certainly not within the range.)

On the other hand, some real cases are that 14-year-old boys almost always escape punishment for sexual harassment of adult women.


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cyberdad
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06 Jul 2022, 10:52 pm

SkinnedWolf wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
SkinnedWolf wrote:
Hum, if I'm a 14-year-old boy, can I take the initiative to find a sexual partner and finally find a 19-year-old woman who agrees with me?
Such action does not seem unthinkable.

He will have a memory he will forever cherish and her life is destroyed.

It depends on where they live.
In China, this will not bring any legal consequences to the both.
(This does not mean that China does not limit the age of sexual consent, but 14-year-old boys are certainly not within the range.)

On the other hand, some real cases are that 14-year-old boys almost always escape punishment for sexual harassment of adult women.


I imagine the sons of party leaders are also exempt from such laws



funeralxempire
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06 Jul 2022, 11:42 pm

cyberdad wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Beyond that, a judicial system needs to have the flexibility to consider nuance and degrees of severity as well as mitigating factors. A justice system that can't do that ends up being an injustice system.


We are talking about a system where judges wear stupid wigs and have the power to "arbitrate" based on subjective margins


I don't recall the judge in my impaired operation trial wearing one; I don't believe they're part of our customs anymore even though you guys and Brits still wear them.

I was acquitted and he ended up scolding the OPP over how they handled the arrest and detention. It still cost me $10 or $12k in legal fees.


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SkinnedWolf
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06 Jul 2022, 11:48 pm

cyberdad wrote:
SkinnedWolf wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
SkinnedWolf wrote:
Hum, if I'm a 14-year-old boy, can I take the initiative to find a sexual partner and finally find a 19-year-old woman who agrees with me?
Such action does not seem unthinkable.

He will have a memory he will forever cherish and her life is destroyed.

It depends on where they live.
In China, this will not bring any legal consequences to the both.
(This does not mean that China does not limit the age of sexual consent, but 14-year-old boys are certainly not within the range.)

On the other hand, some real cases are that 14-year-old boys almost always escape punishment for sexual harassment of adult women.


I imagine the sons of party leaders are also exempt from such laws

This is just the whole legal and moral concept.
This is the case with the law on the protection of minors. This has caused quite a lot of complaints.

Children from more decent families have fewer of these things. Statistically.


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Cover your eyes, if you like. It will serve no purpose.

You might expect to be able to crush them in your hand, into wolf-bone fragments.
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cyberdad
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07 Jul 2022, 2:25 am

funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Beyond that, a judicial system needs to have the flexibility to consider nuance and degrees of severity as well as mitigating factors. A justice system that can't do that ends up being an injustice system.


We are talking about a system where judges wear stupid wigs and have the power to "arbitrate" based on subjective margins


I don't recall the judge in my impaired operation trial wearing one; I don't believe they're part of our customs anymore even though you guys and Brits still wear them.

I was acquitted and he ended up scolding the OPP over how they handled the arrest and detention. It still cost me $10 or $12k in legal fees.


Like paying homage to the 1600s :lol:



ilovepalmtrees
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07 Jul 2022, 4:26 pm

I dislike how some of the age of consent laws are written. For instance, in Florida the age of consent is 18 but 16 and 17 year olds can engage in sexual activity with a person 23 year old and younger. So once your partner turns 24 the act is no longer legal. One day your act is legal, the next day it's illegal. It makes no sense. And what about teens under 16? Way back in 2004 in Ogden, Utah a 13 year old girl became pregnant by her 12 year old boyfriend. State authorities filed delinquency petitions against both of them, alleging because they had sex, they had committed sexual abuse of a child, a second-degree felony if committed by an adult. So you can be an offender and victim at the same time?
https://web.archive.org/web/20060106093 ... ci_3358959
https://web.archive.org/web/20061218162 ... ci_4783650


In Colorado the age of consent is 17 but 15 and 16 year old to engage in acts with those less than ten years older and those under 15 to engage in acts with those less than four years older. A 17 year old may not, however, consent to sex with a person who is in a position of trust with respect to the person under 18. On top of 25 year olds being allowed to take advantage of 15 year olds, I have the same criticisms of this law I listed above.



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16 Jul 2022, 12:28 am

From the quick research I’ve done, in most states, it doesn’t matter if the minor lied about her age or even showed a false identification.

How did that even become a thing? Why are so many people(both lawmakers and everyone else)in favor of that? Are people just somehow ignorant to the damaging effects of those laws or what’s going on here?

For those who fall into that category, maybe I would be less hard on your opinion if they were hardly being punished at all, but that’s not the case. These people’s lives are ruined; hardly any place to live or any places they can be at all, no internet, etc. for like, 25 years to life all bc of the existence of those horrendous laws, not bc they’re bad people.


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cyberdad
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16 Jul 2022, 12:36 am

ilovepalmtrees wrote:
I dislike how some of the age of consent laws are written. For instance, in Florida the age of consent is 18 but 16 and 17 year olds can engage in sexual activity with a person 23 year old and younger. So once your partner turns 24 the act is no longer legal.


I was reading about how actor Kevin Bacon was 19 when he met his now wife (Kyra Sedgwick) when she was 12 years old. I agree I never quite understand how these laws work in terms of cuttoffs for partners of underaged adolescents.