What religion are you?

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I was originally baptised and educated as a Catholic but these days I describe myself as a “scientific pantheist” which draws attention to what I do believe in and not just one aspect of something I don't believe in which is what atheism does. Sure I don't believe in a traditional Biblical God but I also don't believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus as well. I think it would be pretty pointless to sum up my beliefs as just being an Asanta Clausist so I think it is pretty pointless to just sum up my beliefs as an just an Atheist alone.

I worship the mighty octopus god, Grunmotek. Grunmotek is the lord of the seas, the watcher of all creation, He who grabs the wicked and sends them to the Pits of Devouring, and I act according to his great wisdom.

You probably haven't heard of my religion before, so I'll try to sum it up with appropriate reference to our holy book, the Lore of Grunmotek. "When the universe was young, it was without form, a chaotic swirling of energy and substance." (Origins 1:4) Grunmotek organized this randomness into the order we see, and I quote: "Grunmotek was displeased with this disorder, and out of his Divine Wisdom, he reached out to make order out of the chaos. Using his Holy Tentacles, he pulled the chaos together, to make a seed from which all reality would spring" (Origins 1:5-6) (Note: The seed is an obvious reference to the Big Bang) Grunmotek is wise: "Grunmotek's wisdom is the savior of the rulers of the world. He is Wisdom. May they listen to his advice and ask for his aid. (Obedience 3:7-9) Grunmotek is all-knowing: "And then Grunmotek reached his tentacle out and touched Jashte. Jashte then saw what his lord saw. Jashte saw eternity, the stars, the heavens and the waters. Such knowledge was beyond him, and he went mad, and to this day, those who reject our lord may hear his whispers and be pulled into madness by his spirit. (Omens 34:5-8) Grunmotek cares only for our obedience, and will reward us if we devote ourselves to him: "Man, why do you think I created you? Why do you think I created the waters? Why do you think I created my little brothers in the sea? I created everything so that I may be Lord, for ruling is my nature. Remember this and obey so that my waters may reward you wish bounties of fish, and so that you may breathe in the Heavenly Oceans along with me." (Origins 4:14-18) At the same time, he will punish us if we disobey: "And our Lord, Grunmotek, spoke to the assembly "I asked for your obedience many times, and each time you denied me. You are not special, and the same fate awaits you as awaits all who defy me. A king has a right to his throne." And then the eyes of the members of the assembly began bleeding. They screamed out, some in mere pain, others haunted by monsters not even present and with minds captured by horrors beyond our understanding. The screams were ghastly. Within the next few days, all members were found dead, a lesson to those who disobey. Their souls now are caught in the Pits of Devouring, where monsters will eat them, but every day, their bodies will grow back to be consumed once again." (Octopi 25:16-22)

In that same spirit, I ask that all who read this come to obey Grunmotek. Read his book. Understand his wisdom. Fear his power. Obey him, the lord of all.

My, AG, you must've been bored.... <.< Or have too much time on your hands, whichever.

As for ruveyn's question, you can be spiritual (as in, believe in ghosts, the soul, etc.) without being religious. Although i will admit that the concept is "usually" tied to a religious meaning. <.<

It can be as simple as meditation... Yoga... annnd, i'm not sure but it can have something to do with auras, chakras also... My teacher of anthropology of the religion did fieldwork regarding people that were spiritualists, and they were not "always" religious, or christian. =/

Flying Spaghetti Monsterist.

Raised Jewish, went through an atheist phase, and now I'm getting into the New Age movement. I believe in God but I also believe South Park portrays him/her/it a million times more accurately than any religion does.

I was raised to be Christian by my mom, my dad doesn't believe that stuff, he`s more in the boat or `there could be a god, it just doesn`t play a role in my life``. I am in the same boat, there could be a god, but I am not betting that there is.

I used to be a pagan for the longest while, but now I am just a plain non-believer and prefer to stay on the side of reason, I guess I got that from my dad.

I believe God is an as*hole who pits humans against each other so they can not overpower him.

To a linguist, the names [and some of the narrative] are superior to a lot of construct scripture [carefully not naming names and titles]

I resent it being presumed that I have a religion.

I do not see that the original question presumes anything except that some among us might "have a religion" of which a subset might choose to speak.

No more than the similar "what sensory issues do you have" query posted elsewhere assumes that everybody here has such.

I'm a monistic idealist, gnostic, taoist, Buddhist, etc. ...something within that range.

Me = Catholic