Understanding Feminism (Women: Your opinions)

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hanyo
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16 Jul 2012, 9:01 am

minervx wrote:

But I am curious. I do think that most women don't mind gender roles as long as there is no harsh judgment, expectation or stigma involved.

Women, what is your take on all of this?


I don't like gender roles and I'm not interested in following them. I am the way I am and I like what I like whether I'm supposed to or not according to some people. I'm not interested in conforming to stupid stuff that makes no sense.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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16 Jul 2012, 9:11 am

It should be up to the woman. If a woman wants to do the same kind of a work as a man, it is her choice. However, she should be respected for doing the stereotypical gender roles as well. Same with men. If a man wants to be a nurse or a hair stylist, he should not be wrongly judged for choosing that kind of career.



Kjas
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17 Jul 2012, 7:05 am

I wasn't sure how to interpret your post, so this probably isn't what you were looking for.

I can't say I support feminism, because it has gone so far off track from it's original cause, and unfortunately now, seems to be used as an excuse from those women who want the best of both worlds - if they want that then they are going to have to work and act in a way that ensures that - it will not be handed to them on a silver platter without them lifting a finger. Fair pay is all well and good for the same position, reponsiblities and workload. There is the social factor to consider, however feminism being thrown into the picture also made it extremely difficult for me to learn the "social rules" here because there are very few hard and fast ones anymore, because feminism has changed the goalposts, and most here still seem somewhat confused in some areas as to what the new social convention is. Not in every situation, but in many of them. At least back home I knew what was expected of me - very helpful for an aspie although at times it was somewhat irritating.

I don't think most object because, not only are they used to it, but they can usually break a few smaller parts of the gender role they disagree with without causing any trouble to themselves - there is some acceptance here for breaking small parts of it that don't apply to the individual.

I have to admit that objectication bothers me when it goes too far - on both sides. In most ways I find male gender roles just as annoying as the female ones - just obviously in different areas. I guess I don't mind gender roles overall because here they seem much less constricting than back home in comparison (MXH and Shat will know what I mean by that) - at least I am free to choose now, and guys here also have more freedom to choose. The freedom of choice is more important to me than whatever gender role is set.

I can handle gender roles to an certain extent, but I believe there should be room for "customization" on both sides. I have no desire to be put into a peg hole and I wouldn't want to do that to any guy I dated either. I would never be able to do the whole "soccer mom" or "housewife" thing. I think it might just be easier if people discuss and agree on mutual expectations between each other, whatever they may be. At least you're not getting into something blind then. It's usually the unspoken expectations on both sides that go unfilled and cause massive amounts of resentment, because both believe that "this wasn't what I signed up for" and as a result try to force the other partner to change against their will.

For me at least, it is easier if the guy is dominant, but this is a personal and cultural thing for me as opposed to a gender role. I'm not good at that side of things, and furthermore I have no practise at it what so ever - especially coming from places which have very set gender roles. If a guy does not approach or initate in the early stages, I instantly assume he is not interested, Living here I have learned that is not always the case - but only when someone took the time to point it out to me. I'm not good at noticing what guys want even when they come up to me, unless they say what they want directly - so it they don't even come over and talk there's no way I would know. Multiple times I have found myself in awkward situations because guys were pretending to be "friends" for 6 months or more (some for over a year), when they really wanted more, but never said so - and never asked for a date - that seems to be very common here, attempting to be subtle, and I don't even notice those attempts. Especially in comparison, if I have a Colombian guy walk up to me, ask me to dance, afterwards talk to me, get my number and set up a proper date. The two approaches are completely different - one is direct and therefore I understand what it is. But the other is subtle and in my mind an attempt at manipulation almost - because they lied about their intentions the entire time either using their mouth or their actions, or both.

I think it would be best if each individual choose their own roles and lifestyles and find somebody compatiable with that. I realise that gender roles makes it easier for approaching and getting to know someone, but beyond the first stages of a relationship - I'm not sure how much relevence they should have - it seems not only easier, but also smarter to discuss and agree on your own set of roles and lifestyles choices together.


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TalksToCats
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17 Jul 2012, 7:48 am

Kjas wrote:

....

I think it would be best if each individual choose their own roles and lifestyles and find somebody compatiable with that. I realise that gender roles makes it easier for approaching and getting to know someone, but beyond the first stages of a relationship - I'm not sure how much relevence they should have - it seems not only easier, but also smarter to discuss and agree on your own set of roles and lifestyles choices together.


Thanks Kjas, I'd be thinking about how to respond to this for a while, but I think you've just managed to sum up pretty much how I feel with the quote above.



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17 Jul 2012, 11:26 am

hanyo wrote:
I'm not interested in conforming to stupid stuff that makes no sense.

I don't think anyone is.

I think actively NON-conforming to something gives it just as much power and attention as if you were to conform.

Which is why I think a "feminist" agenda would be better accomplished if they all quit being Feminists, and decided to be Somethings.
Be a Something, instead of just being Against-a-something-else.


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17 Jul 2012, 4:45 pm

i_Am_andaJoy wrote:
hanyo wrote:
I'm not interested in conforming to stupid stuff that makes no sense.

I don't think anyone is.

I think actively NON-conforming to something gives it just as much power and attention as if you were to conform.

Which is why I think a "feminist" agenda would be better accomplished if they all quit being Feminists, and decided to be Somethings.
Be a Something, instead of just being Against-a-something-else.


You seem to think to word 'feminist' is 'anti-men'.


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17 Jul 2012, 5:00 pm

puddingmouse wrote:
i_Am_andaJoy wrote:
hanyo wrote:
I'm not interested in conforming to stupid stuff that makes no sense.

I don't think anyone is.

I think actively NON-conforming to something gives it just as much power and attention as if you were to conform.

Which is why I think a "feminist" agenda would be better accomplished if they all quit being Feminists, and decided to be Somethings.
Be a Something, instead of just being Against-a-something-else.


You seem to think to word 'feminist' is 'anti-men'.


They just don't understand that reducing males to 1% of the population and keeping their testicles separate until needed (preferably in a sensibly stylish cryogenic purse) is for their own good


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17 Jul 2012, 5:50 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
It should be up to the woman. If a woman wants to do the same kind of a work as a man, it is her choice. However, she should be respected for doing the stereotypical gender roles as well. Same with men. If a man wants to be a nurse or a hair stylist, he should not be wrongly judged for choosing that kind of career.


Most male hair stylists are openly gay.



i_Am_andaJoy
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17 Jul 2012, 6:22 pm

puddingmouse wrote:

You seem to think to word 'feminist' is 'anti-men'.

I do think a lot of people who call themselves feminists act that way, yes.
Which is why I put the word in ironic air quotes.
Because as I said, my personal connotation of the word is negative, due to unlikable and vocal women I have met and/or read.
I understand that some does not equal all.
But I have a negative feeling toward the word itself due to the some.


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autismthinker21
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17 Jul 2012, 10:29 pm

Vigilans wrote:
Viligain sounds like some kind of athletic protein shake. I will have to add that to my list of common misspellings of my username :P


I was trying to say Vigilans. just didn't spell it right. jeez what's your problem? it sounds like your making fun of my spellings for things. not everyone is perfect. and i was flipping through tabs. what kind of name is Vigilans anyway? did you get that from a poster?


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meems
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17 Jul 2012, 10:45 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
It should be up to the woman. If a woman wants to do the same kind of a work as a man, it is her choice. However, she should be respected for doing the stereotypical gender roles as well. Same with men. If a man wants to be a nurse or a hair stylist, he should not be wrongly judged for choosing that kind of career.


Most male hair stylists are openly gay.


I've had four regular hair stylists in the last eleven years and all were openly gay males. It's ridiculous but now I won't trust anyone with my hair unless it's a gay dude. It's like lucky pants, gay dudes are my lucky pants. Or I guess I should say my lucky hat.


Also! Isn't Vigilans Latin for watching or watchful or... watch...er?



meems
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17 Jul 2012, 10:48 pm

The last bit of my post was meant to be addressing autismthinker21, just to be clear.



puddingmouse
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17 Jul 2012, 11:13 pm

meems wrote:
ArrantPariah wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
It should be up to the woman. If a woman wants to do the same kind of a work as a man, it is her choice. However, she should be respected for doing the stereotypical gender roles as well. Same with men. If a man wants to be a nurse or a hair stylist, he should not be wrongly judged for choosing that kind of career.


Most male hair stylists are openly gay.


I've had four regular hair stylists in the last eleven years and all were openly gay males. It's ridiculous but now I won't trust anyone with my hair unless it's a gay dude. It's like lucky pants, gay dudes are my lucky pants. Or I guess I should say my lucky hat.


Also! Isn't Vigilans Latin for watching or watchful or... watch...er?


I once had a stylist who was a straight guy...dun dun dun. 8O


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meems
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18 Jul 2012, 1:11 am

puddingmouse wrote:
meems wrote:
ArrantPariah wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
It should be up to the woman. If a woman wants to do the same kind of a work as a man, it is her choice. However, she should be respected for doing the stereotypical gender roles as well. Same with men. If a man wants to be a nurse or a hair stylist, he should not be wrongly judged for choosing that kind of career.


Most male hair stylists are openly gay.


I've had four regular hair stylists in the last eleven years and all were openly gay males. It's ridiculous but now I won't trust anyone with my hair unless it's a gay dude. It's like lucky pants, gay dudes are my lucky pants. Or I guess I should say my lucky hat.


Also! Isn't Vigilans Latin for watching or watchful or... watch...er?


I once had a stylist who was a straight guy...dun dun dun. 8O


Was he successful at keeping your hair pretty!? o_O



edgewaters
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18 Jul 2012, 1:42 am

ArrantPariah wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
It should be up to the woman. If a woman wants to do the same kind of a work as a man, it is her choice. However, she should be respected for doing the stereotypical gender roles as well. Same with men. If a man wants to be a nurse or a hair stylist, he should not be wrongly judged for choosing that kind of career.


Most male hair stylists are openly gay.


Not barbers, though.

I had a woman barber couple times at this one place I went to. That seemed atypical (not bad though).

I kinda don't like the barbers because it's all uber manly crap there, but somehow its more awkward at those unisex places. Not cause they're women or gay or anything, its just sort of uptight there. Barber doesn't seem to mind I'm a bit odd so much.



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18 Jul 2012, 2:01 am

In my experience women want equality where it suits and VAST superiority everywhere else.
They want doors opening for them.
They want men to stand when they walk into a room.
Equality is the very last thing that they're after.
In England we have women only golf clubs, taxi cabs, swimming pools, etc.
Try starting a men only golf club and listen to the feminists howl "sexism".
Feminists are steaming hypocrites.