Discussion- Conformity

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No, I'm very firm with people on this. It isn't civil to smile to people's faces over such annoyances if you're only going to talk behind their backs or eventually say something nasty. I deal with people sharply on this matter. If you've got something to say, out with it. I can pull this off because I have a highly dominant personality.

Not really. I'm actually quite good at pulling off humor.

Oh, well people made it quite clear through HUMOR that they were displeased - I mean, I even got it. But, I thought you were talking about shouting, which would have seemed more out of place than what I was doing. And, it's not as though I didn't have an explanation - it's just that the action was disturbing to them. And, there's also the fact that those who were most unhappy are probably the ones most frightened of me.

Why would they be frightened of you? People did find me a bit creepy back when I was more introverted. I even had the cops called on me for asking for a lift from a classmate back when I had a transportation situation. I think that what spooked them was the flat, monotonous voice. When you're more expressive, people tend to warm up to you. I don't even try to restrain stims unless they'd really be annoying. They just figure into the rest of my personality, and, besides, I've found that the reason people used to give me a hard time was that I kept cutting the stims off halfway and looking embarrassed. If you act like a dog who just chewed his master's slippers, you'll be treated like one. You just accept them and incorporate them into your personality. Believe it or not, giving yourself a set of queues that allow for the expression of stims helps to keep them under control in cases in which they'd be unwanted. It's like with a dog who won't sit up and beg unless you've already put him through the rest of his paces.

In the end, I realized that trying to conform isn't going to earn me social acceptance anymore than rebelling. What eventually led to me gaining social acceptance was accepting myself.

I'd like to continue this in a new thread. See>> Simulating the Mind << in the Tech forum.

I am somewhat violent in nature, and I guess it shows. Not that anyone's actually seen me mad here, but they might have seen signs of it anyhow.



Exactly what I was doing, BUT I have to worry to some extent what others think of me. The fact that I am an embarrassment is certainly one of the factors which will probably keep me from being accepted into the PhD program. Politics is a big part of academia.

Conforming to laws, and rules set out to order society is okay. But lets not all be mindless stormtroopers, cylons, trekkies, or republicans.

Wow, I never though this thread would get some hits, but I am glad to see the point discussed. I should have used that phrase "Rebel without a cause" but I never knew what it was for x:

I've learned that university faculty are the worst offenders of conformity and I avoid the entire building and people as much as possible while still getting a paycheck.

I've learned that whoever said that universities were bastions of people on the spectrum were wrong.

Man, I haven't had a melt in...oh, years. I hope that lasts. Mine are really bad. The funny farm would be after me for sure.

Oh, I just try to be considerate and thoughtful. I think real people judge you more by how willing you are to pitch in and help, how well you keep your promises, etc.

Depends on the university. Some of them are really horribly stuck-up. They'll never produce anything. A place like MIT, though, is rife with folks who fit the bill. Well, the ones who are worth anything, anyway. The rest of them are stuck-up and annoying.

My last one was probably a little over a year ago - I was ready to dismember my mother. Came kind of close on a test recently though. While I was married, they just didn't happen. Having the right person is so vital to me.



Unfortunately, there are people who have some say about me, who only see that I am odd. Probably happens most places. Hell, I probably just wouldn't fit in at most workplaces. Eh, the pressure's probably off anyhow. I think that I've messed up enough that they ain't gonna want me.

Yes, my other has been very good for me. I'm not sure why, but it works.

Take a crack at it anyway. I've never known real people to be particular about such nuances.

No, your original post was surely fit for discussion by mature people of any age. It appears a very balanced argument. As you say, rebellion has brought undoubted gains, but in many cases conforming to laws also makes sense and serves a practical purpose. This belongs here, as it is philosophical with some implications for politics, two of the three broad areas encompassed by this forum (religion could be easily brought into the discussion as well, making it all three).

I'm wrestling with the idea of non-conformity now. I only know 2 ways of being:

1) Conformist with paycheque, agony to maintain facade
2) Authentic Me, known in the NT world as Weird.

Neither of these work for me. They both alienate people 100%. So I'm isolated. There's no point in joining the book club, for example, because they'd all hate me in no time.

Maybe it would be good to have enough conformity to signal "I come in peace" as opposed to "Take me to your leader."

The problem is to hit the right balance. I don't want people to hate me but I don't want them to be all over me either. I'm not only aspie, I'm introverted. What does "I'm a nice person" plus "Leave me alone" look like?

I used to conform to nonconformity and it leads to misery as you have little to relate too...my big part in it was listening to progressive metal, which I now find extremely elitist, and conspiracy theories. I went insane. Balance is key in the case of conformity.

I don't intentionally disobey conformity anymore, but my behavior still seems very outside social paradigm. I was nearly yelled at earlier for playing bass while someone was sleeping earlier (I was trying to influence her dreams, my dreams are very music based.)

However, such things can have a weak point. It led to me being Marxist for some time, despite how flawed the ideology is.

I am curious though, was anyone here forced to conform to others? I was forced to conform by my mom to an insane degree to where I was left with almost nothing to build myself from. I am still fairly dysfunctional but at least I know who I am unlike her. I'll stop before this turns into a rant though.