Why no sexual relationships for Christians in Heaven?

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07 May 2016, 1:12 am

nobody knows for a fact that there is no sex in heaven. for all we know there is a thriving gazillion-mile-high club a'blazin' up there.

friedmacguffins
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07 May 2016, 12:13 pm

"Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first, when he had married a wife, deceased, and, having no issue, left his wife unto his brother:Likewise the second also, and the third, unto the seventh. And last of all the woman died also. Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven."
-- Matt 22: 25-30

If you don't know any better, and none of us do, chastity is probably the most direct understanding of this passage.

But...

"...the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose."
-- from Gen 6:2

Though her old body was gone, her debts and obligations with it, the new body goes to a place of feasts, garments, mansions, and treasures.

I understood that the Jewish roots of the Christian faith teach to try a piece of fruit, if it is new to you, which is not to mention being notoriously acquisitive. I felt that Old Testament believers were triumphalists. Maybe, relations are a gift in life, if Heaven is life everlasting.

Edenthiel
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09 May 2016, 1:31 am

friedmacguffins wrote:

This would match well with the refutation of Lev. 23:1 in Isaiah 56:4, Matthew 19:12 & that whole long bit in Acts where the Ethiopian Minster of Finance convinces Philip to baptize him.

Leviticus said that no one with "crushed stones" could get into heaven. Isaiah (III) refuted this in their usual wonderful prose*. That little aside, aside...Matthew put the inclusion of eunuchs in the words of Jesus himself and Acts played it out in great practical detail.

* and with enough conviction from God that the early organized church (post Nicene, etc) had a bit of a problem with monks who thought they'd found the golden ticket so to speak, and all it took was a little snip-snip. The solution of course, was virtual eunuchs, or, celibate priests.

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AspE
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09 May 2016, 9:23 am

It would be a little difficult, since your genitals are worm food.

Cash__
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09 May 2016, 9:45 pm

At least in islamic heaven you get bunch of virgins to bang.

Misslizard
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10 May 2016, 10:43 am

Cash__ wrote:

At least in islamic heaven you get bunch of virgins to bang.

And plenty of hashish.Screw the virgins,just give me the hookah and a good hit.

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naturalplastic
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10 May 2016, 12:34 pm

Misslizard wrote:

Cash__ wrote:

At least in islamic heaven you get bunch of virgins to bang.

And plenty of hashish.Screw the virgins,just give me the hookah and a good hit.

That's the idea:..to "screw the virgins"!

Misslizard
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10 May 2016, 12:46 pm

naturalplastic wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

Cash__ wrote:

At least in islamic heaven you get bunch of virgins to bang.

And plenty of hashish.Screw the virgins,just give me the hookah and a good hit.

That's the idea:..to "screw the virgins"!

But will their be male virgins?I don't care for the female ones. :twisted:

Seems like a cluster of them would get annoying pretty quick.You'd have to repeat fifty times a day," No,that burka does not make your ass look fat."
Someone should take the "fifty virgin challenge."One man gets cloistered with fifty women for a month.I bet he tries to escape after a week.Hell starts looking good.

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auntblabby
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10 May 2016, 3:51 pm

Misslizard wrote:

But will their be male virgins?I don't care for the female ones. :twisted:

there can be if you want it, that is the thing about heaven is that it has exactly what you want.

Misslizard
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10 May 2016, 7:38 pm

auntblabby wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

But will their be male virgins?I don't care for the female ones. :twisted:

there can be if you want it, that is the thing about heaven is that it has exactly what you want.

Then I would would want a few relatives,a few friends,and all my deceased pets.Fifty people would be way too many.I'd rather have unlimited hot fudge sundaes,pizza and cold beer all served in a giant garden.

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auntblabby
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10 May 2016, 7:41 pm

Misslizard wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

Misslizard wrote:

But will their be male virgins?I don't care for the female ones. :twisted:

there can be if you want it, that is the thing about heaven is that it has exactly what you want.

for me it'd have to be apple beer :hic: