Forget incels, meet ‘femcels’
DuckHairback
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I would like to know the extent to which being 'chronically online' contributes to the development of both incel and femcel mindsets. I suspect it would be significant.
On the subject of the terms being used as insults, I'd agree. However wasn't incel the word that incels themselves gave to their condition? I believe it was.
I have a lot of sympathy for people who struggle to achieve a romantic connection with another human. I've been there and I know what that feels like. What I don't have much sympathy for is the mindset that some people develop that they're powerless to do anything to improve the situation, and that the fault lies with members of whatever sex they're trying to attract for not finding them attractive.
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It's dark. Is it always this dark?
To quote the very next paragraph after the one you quoted in your original post:
So. this is a work of fiction that is part of a long history in literature of writing antihero protagonists, except this is more unusual in that the antihero is a woman. As we know, in real life women seldom kill in comparison to men, and when they do it's usually self defense against their violent partners, so it's more shocking to read a story in which a woman is not killing in self defense but rather for enjoyment.
But then, the person who wrote this article decided to claim 'both sides' by equating this fictional character with a well known real life group: incels.
In real life, there just isn't a large groundswell of women who attack men the way incels attack women. Sure, lots of single heterosexual women can't always find a man they want to date, but they don't lash out online the way we've seen incels do. In real life, you just don't have to be afraid of a single woman the way you do have to be afraid of any man you don't know really well.
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When the sun rises, look for silent fading stars.
That is an interesting point! I think you might be onto something there, although who knows whether incel and femcel mindsets are the precursor to being chronically online or the result of being a femcel or incel?
I think the word has become dirty, and that might not have been the original intention. The world itself is mired in stigma nowadays.
Agreed, I have sympathy for people in this realm, but I don't agree with blaming other people for not finding one attractive.
"Rhiannon is the pathetic yet dangerous star of Sweetpea, Sky Atlantic’s new adaptation of CJ Skuse’s 2017 novel of the same name. Over six episodes she stalks and attacks those she deems deserving of punishment, and you honestly kind of root for her for it, even though you know you shouldn’t. Skuse’s young adult novels were once described as a linchpin in the rise of “antiheroines”, girls behaving badly in literature, but today they might be known by another, more modern, more internet-friendly name. They would be considered femcels."
So. this is a work of fiction that is part of a long history in literature of writing antihero protagonists, except this is more unusual in that the antihero is a woman. As we know, in real life women seldom kill in comparison to men, and when they do it's usually self defense against their violent partners, so it's more shocking to read a story in which a woman is not killing in self defense but rather for enjoyment.
As mentioned earlier in the thread, the article references the movie 'Sweetpea' which is in line with the topic of the femcel, but the article also discusses what a femcel is more generally.
In real life, there just isn't a large groundswell of women who attack men the way incels attack women. Sure, lots of single heterosexual women can't always find a man they want to date, but they don't lash out online the way we've seen incels do. In real life, you just don't have to be afraid of a single woman the way you do have to be afraid of any man you don't know really well.
I have come across several venomous femcels online, over the years, so I'm not sure I agree that there isn't a significant presence of these woman, who inevitably have a real life as well as an online one.
There are plenty of dangerous women out there to be associated with, but yes, statistically, men commit more crimes that there are to worry about in regards to interpersonal relations, i.e, violent or sexual crimes. I don't think many or any would argue with that.
techstepgenr8tion
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Last year I was pretty blown away at the level of digging kidology did on -cels. Think Aydin Paladin-level digging. The top one of the three is her research on femceldome.
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The loneliest part of life: it's not just that no one is on your cloud, few can even see your cloud.
It is as if some random journalist was told to "Write some click-bait", and did.
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It is as if some random journalist was told to "Write some click-bait", and did.
I agree. I haven't read the article but the premise sounds like nonsense.
Sweetleaf
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oh boy toxic femineity, that is for sure an awful branch of people....like I figure you mean the supposed career women who also will accept nothing less than a man who makes way more than they do. They are independent women who can afford to live alone yet as independent as they are they need the man to make more to take care of them.
and idk I think that's grosss, I am all for someone not wanting to date a lazy but I do hate the idea some people put forth that a career woman who can fend for herself should still seek out a richer man who can provide for them....and lits like if you're so indpendent you provide for yourself, you don't still need a man to take care of you. So your standard should not be 'independent I make my own money roar, but I expect you make more and you pay for everything even though I am independent and can handle myself....I just want you to fund my lifestyle while I s**t on you.
So idk I am aware of some toxic femininity and I don't like it, cause also the toxic women like that also talk down on people like me because I have disability, they try to be like you can't be a real women if you aren't career oriented, and that for sure is really offensive to me. So idk you may hear me b***h more about male on female sexism, but for sure there is toxic femininty to and it sucks to interact with.
LIke I hate to say it but some women are literally the worst sexists.
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and idk I think that's grosss, I am all for someone not wanting to date a lazy but I do hate the idea some people put forth that a career woman who can fend for herself should still seek out a richer man who can provide for them....and lits like if you're so indpendent you provide for yourself, you don't still need a man to take care of you. So your standard should not be 'independent I make my own money roar, but I expect you make more and you pay for everything even though I am independent and can handle myself....I just want you to fund my lifestyle while I s**t on you.
So idk I am aware of some toxic femininity and I don't like it, cause also the toxic women like that also talk down on people like me because I have disability, they try to be like you can't be a real women if you aren't career oriented, and that for sure is really offensive to me. So idk you may hear me b***h more about male on female sexism, but for sure there is toxic femininty to and it sucks to interact with.
LIke I hate to say it but some women are literally the worst sexists.
I agree! Women can be equally as sexist as men, but some female sexists are not self-aware enough to realize that is what they are.
I always appreciate your posts Sweetleaf, you seem like a down-to-Earth woman with a level head.
Interesting article. Not what I had expected, because when I heard "toxic femininity," my mind immediately went to tradwives.
and idk I think that's grosss, I am all for someone not wanting to date a lazy but I do hate the idea some people put forth that a career woman who can fend for herself should still seek out a richer man who can provide for them....and lits like if you're so indpendent you provide for yourself, you don't still need a man to take care of you. So your standard should not be 'independent I make my own money roar, but I expect you make more and you pay for everything even though I am independent and can handle myself....I just want you to fund my lifestyle while I s**t on you.
So idk I am aware of some toxic femininity and I don't like it, cause also the toxic women like that also talk down on people like me because I have disability, they try to be like you can't be a real women if you aren't career oriented, and that for sure is really offensive to me. So idk you may hear me b***h more about male on female sexism, but for sure there is toxic femininty to and it sucks to interact with.
LIke I hate to say it but some women are literally the worst sexists.
Some women who are hardworking and financially successful would be fine with dating someone who makes less money than them, but don't have many opportunities because men can feel uncomfortable with it and what they think the dynamic says about their masculinity or how society views them. It's also not unheard of for people of both genders to take advantage of others financially in relationships. Dating someone in a similar financial position can make someone feel less concerned about being taken advantage of by someone who is primarily after their money and, in turn, more secure in the relationship.
To be clear, I am not saying that there are not women out there who are motivated by money and are attracted to men who are financially successful. I am just making the point that it's nuanced and there can be other reasons for people's decisions about who they seek out relationships with.
^ This! Back when I was earning more, I couldn't care less what someone else earned. However, I dated one man who turned out to be gay and just with me for money and another who said he liked 'successful women' but would get really nasty if I offered to pay for things as he felt like I was one-upping him. That guy did his best to make me feel like crap and derail my career so he could 'catch up' (as he saw it). Then there are other men I've met via friends or work who I would have dated but they just got weirdly competitive as soon as they found out I wasn't some idiot bimbo that needed rescuing. A lot of men are still raised with this 1800s 'men are the breadwinners' mentality and can't cope with not having financial control.
In hindsight, I maybe would have had more success finding a partner if I'd only dated men who were a lot richer than me. But it's a bit late now.
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