MissPickwickian seems to have been grasped by an ultimate concern.
A few days before her sixteenth birthday, a girl awoke with a desire for insight into the mysteries of God. This was a rather abrupt development, as she had gone to bed an atheist the night before. However, the girl often wakes up in odd moods, her whirring mind demanding she study architecture, tap on the wall twenty times, read Thomas Mann, or frantically make sure her mother is still alive. Yet something as strange and large as God was an especially unusual concern to have first thing in the morning.
That day she listened to Gregorian Chant on full volume, clasping her mother's crucifix and stimming, read the book of Genesis without irony, pondered the merits of Buddhism, and bowed down in the general direction of Mecca so as to see how it felt.
The girl was, of course, inclined to philosophy. Philosophers are made thus: They are of a large group of naturally logical thinkers birthed by the Earthling women. Most of the logical types will be satisfied with logic and go into mathematics, science, and technical fields. A small minority are not satisfied. They know enough
to know the limits of logic. They try to explain what no one can, and then they are called philosophers. They attempt to apply the reasoned principles they are wired with to untangle the great mysteries of man, one of which is called God.
The girl was made a philosopher, and possibly even a Theologian.
The girl was overtaken with the desire to learn more about the many incarnations of this God, whom she suddenly understood as being real. She didn't want to be confined to one religion, but she suddenly felt deeply religious (no mincing "spirituality" or agnosticism here). She did not want to loathe the non-believers or get political or some such; she wanted to go on her very own difficult and solitary journey to separate herself from the Mundane and pursue the Divine
MissPickwickian, friends, may be embarking on a strange, ecstatic, terrible journey into the depths of myth and wisdom and the caverns of her very own mind and soul. This she must do. For all you know, she may end up in Rome or Tibet, on a long and cheerful fast, or she might rid herself of her material possessions (including la laptop) and go wandering through Arizona. Autistics are capable of anything in the name of obsession. Be prepared for eccentric posts.
This is just as unnerving to me as it is to you.
****Note: This is a lazy-ass reposting. This was originally called "A Story of a Girl and the Concept of God" and was posted in the philosophy forum.****