I think Aspergeans should NOT have children

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How did the meeting with your psychologist go?

Wow you sound like someone who came from can. A few say the same things. Is it an attempt to dismiss anyone successful that may have had hfa?

She's just a troll. A big, fat, sweaty ugly troll with a huge black hairy girating mole on her neck.

Thank you. I'm actually really glad they're nothing, at all, like me. But that's a good thing I think. I'm very proud of them for the way they are and what they've become. I'm glad they're mine.

It went very well. The psychologist explained AS to my wife a little bit more. I also realised some of my AS problems that were getting in the way as well. You see, to my brain, my wife should have already known what it's like to have AS because she has known me for almost a decade. It seems logical to me. Rejecting a child with AS seemed to be like she was rejecting me. Saying that she didn't want a child that had AS because they would be worse off seemed to me to be saying people with AS are inferior.

But, that's not how my wife sees it at all. I don't know, after years and years of living with NT's and adapting to this society I tend to think I understand the NT mind... But I realise that perhaps there are things that I will never understand about thinking like an NT.

NT's jump to conclusions I would never jump to. They make broad sweeping statements that I'd have to consider long and hard before I even opened my mouth. I internalise a lot where as NT's seem to externalise everything they are thinking even though they might not have finished thinking through what it is that they are thinking.

Perhaps, because us Aspies are all on a big ol' spectrum, some of us have this NT sort of trait, thinking out loud, and some of us never speak up at all.

Anyway, I digress. The psychologist also explained to my wife how advantageous some AS traits are. The famous people with AS. And how some people see AS as a form of evolution (just in theory).

My wife seems to have calmed down a bit about AS, but we haven't talked about having children yet, so time will tell. I'd like her to read some more stuff first. Give her a chance to think a lot about it before we discuss it - like how an Aspie might.

i'm glad it went well!

There are no defective genes in AS, only variations. How well the resulting organism succeeds in producing successful offspring determines the likelihood that it's genes, including the variations, will reproduce.

The lack of obvious predators in our environment has not changed the process of natural selection, it has only removed some of the more obvious 'selectors', while the central idea still holds, the well adapted organisms, those that better 'fit in' the environment have a better chance at reproducing their genetic material.



Are you God? You seem to claim to know which genes are 'defective' and should not be allowed to be reproduced?

I prefer to leave it up to the Darwin Awards type of selection. When the absolutely stupid remove themselves from the genepool by misadventure.

When othe people start to impose their beliefs on who can and cannot reproduce you step into the realm of eugenics. And that can mean the stupid or insane making decisions like getting rid of those they feel are lesser than themselves.

I'm sure you had your reasons to marry your wife, but how can you live with a person like the person you described? Don't you get bored, frustrated?

No. I think that our differences (like most NT and AS differences) are complimentary. We suit one another rather well. And having that variation in our ways of thinking is a great thing.

You seem to see the paragraph you quoted as being some damning criticism that means I hate NT's... Well, then you haven't been paying attention. Because all along I've been saying that we need diversity to be successful. Difference is the secret to adaptation that makes the whole stronger than the sum of its parts.

You seem to see sameness as being the holy grail of evolution. And you thought that when I stated what I saw as a difference between AS and NT, that I was "badmouthing NT's". That's how you see difference, that's not how I see difference.

Now, I know you'll try to do something with what I've just said, but I still haven't given up on you. That's why I still respond to your questions even though I know why you pose them. But next time, keep your undercutting to the thread you're taking your material from, gives us a chance to respond to your response.

you seem to love and forgive yourself just fine.



...i agree that a person with similar weakness/strengths is not going to always work. most people need someone who compliments but also BALANCES them.

Wow, Unknown Quantity, I would be FURIOUS if my spouse suggested aborting our hypothetical child because of AS. To me, that's like your spouse saying that YOU should have been aborted. That's just a horrible horrible thing to say. I mean, she loves you enough to marry you and spend her life by your side, but having a child with your personality would be so terrible she'd have it ripped from her womb and thrown in a biohazard bag??
I'd be more worried the kid might get its mother's genes and turn out to be an ice-hearted stone cold #$%^&

I don't see Aspie-traits as defective genes. There is probably a very good reason for a certain percentage of any human population to be slightly different. Its us oddballs who tend to spark new ideas that drive progress. We're the ones pushing the evolutionary envelope, so to speak. Yes, we may have felt some discomfort and emotional pain along the way, but the gifts inherent in our particular make-up are there too. If being an Aspie feels like suffering, then its not because of the genetics of the syndrome itself. Its more likely that you are feeling pain because you haven't yet accepted the gift of your Aspie challenge. I've suffered. I''ve survived. I've lived and loved and laughed and maybe even given people new perspectives on their world view along the way. I paint and draw and create and write. Its a pretty rich inner life, I have. Why would I not want that for my child too? And if my child were to be an NT, then I would enjoy the complementary experience instead.

1) Why would you want to bring kids to this world to suffer the way you suffered?
A person is not their parents and one should not expect a child to have the same life as the one their parents had.

2) Why would you want to degenerate the human gene pool even further?
Asperger's Syndrome does not degenerate the gene pool. This question is ignorant, prejudice/discrimatory, unproven, and based on outdated concepts. Just because someone has AS does not mean that their children will have it.

3) Given my neuropsychological condition, am I really fit to raise a child?
I don't know what you neuropsychological condition is but you shouldn't assume that us aspies have the same psychological profile as you. Many aspies are mental fit to raise children, some are not nut this fact is the same with neurotypical people as well. Having children may not be right for you but that does not mean it will not be right for someone else.

4) Given all my flaws and defects, what example will I give my children?
Who is perfect, is not everyone flawed in some way.

I'm truly sorry you feel this way, not just about having children but about yourself. You are selling yourself WAY short, buying into the BS line that you are inferior and of lesser value because your brain is wired differently and you don't (gasp! shock! horror!) think exactly the same way as society thinks you should. You are NOT "degenerating" the gene pool, by ANY means. You are NOT "flawed" and "defective." And you are probably more able to raise a child than many of the complete NT idiots I see every day screwing up their children.

Believe me, I more than understand your daily frustrations and the often overwhelming exhaustion, frustration and pain everyday life may bring having to function with a brain that's wired differently; I both personally experience it every day and I see it every day with my son and my fiance. But try to look at the positives, of which there are many, frankly. And don't make yourself a poster boy for FAAAS, which would like nothing better than to see posts like this and which wants you to feel this way, to corroborate their demonization of all Aspies and their canonization of the "Cassandras", their absolutely ridiculous name for the spouses/family members of Aspies.

Amen! It sounds like his spouse is a devotee of FAAAS, unfortunately. I feel sorry for both of them if that is the case.