I think Aspergeans should NOT have children
In my case, whenever I think about having kids, I ask myself some of the following questions (and these are just hypothetical questions, as I'd first need to find a woman to reproduce with, which so far seems like an extremely difficult task to accomplish):
1) Why would you want to bring kids to this world to suffer the way you suffered?
2) Why would you want to degenerate the human gene pool even further?
3) Given my neuropsychological condition, am I really fit to raise a child?
4) Given all my flaws and defects, what example will I give my children?
So what do you all think about the way I think in regards to "aspergean reproduction"? Are my views too negative?
(I hope I did not offend anyone with my comments.)
Your points are all valid, but collectively fall very short of sufficient to support your statement.
I dare say that there aren't two aspies who have exactly the same obssessions, sensory alterations, behaviours, and every other trait we have or stereotype that we get labelled with. With that in mind, not every single person with AS is going to want to raise a child, because they don't feel secure enough that it would be the right thing to do for them. We are all individuals, as far as I am aware, and are capable of making our own decisions.
Although I am still at the road block that is getting a girl to hang around me long enough without getting weirded out, I know that I would make a d**ned fine father, whether to a child with AS or a NT child.
Yes its true, I would have extreme difficulty expressing my feeling towards my own child, but learning to do these things is part of the experience.
If you can find someone who is happy to be with you, and trusts you, then they will know whether they want you to have a child with them. I think that goes for everybody, not just those of us on the Spectrum.
Some of that may seem incoherent gibberish, but I have enough trouble with people making rules for me to follow like a sheep, let alone someone thinking that they have the right to judge me on my abilities as a human being. I don't stand alone here.
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MyWorld
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Joined: 12 Nov 2008
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I don't think so. Just because someone is disabled, does not mean their child will end up scarred for life. The people who should not reproduce are those who can't take proper care of kids (deadbeat parents, criminals, etc).
In my case, whenever I think about having kids, I ask myself some of the following questions (and these are just hypothetical questions, as I'd first need to find a woman to reproduce with, which so far seems like an extremely difficult task to accomplish):
1) Why would you want to bring kids to this world to suffer the way you suffered? not everyone suffers all the time (though that question would be good to present in abortion forum)2) Why would you want to degenerate the human gene pool even further? why wouldn't you? Ha ha, kidding. Don't worry too much about it. Ever heard of Darwin awards? They are giving them out to stupid people who wipe out themselves from the gene pool. 3) Given my neuropsychological condition, am I really fit to raise a child? you might be able to, depending if you really want kids and think you can provide a good life for them. There are plenty of NT's who f**k up their kids by not providing them with basic needs.
4) Given all my flaws and defects, what example will I give my children? that the world is not perfect and people should embrace diversity instead of trying to fit in pigeon hole of what is considered to be "normal" in their society
So what do you all think about the way I think in regards to "aspergean reproduction"? Are my views too negative?
You seem to be pessimistic.
(I hope I did not offend anyone with my comments.)
At the risk of offending, I agree with you.
Nature "weeds out" the unfit by not letting them reach reproduction or limiting the ability to reproduce.
Man, with his intellect, circumvents this "check" on the DNA and creates bigger problems.
I love to use diabetes as an example of this. Diabetics normally never lived long enough to reproduce. This kept their numbers limited. We found a way to treat diabetes so that diabetics could live longer and more fruitful lives. That was good, but it resulted in an explosion of diabetics in the population...that was bad.
I've advocated that unless we find a way to extract genetic defects from the DNA of a parent as a "cure" for a disease it's somewhat selfish to reproduce and create more people with the same defect who now needs medical treatment throughout life. I hope gene therapy will bring meaningful "cures" for all kinds of things we struggle with in medicine today.
AS is a bit confusing. Is it caused by genetic oddity? Is it the product of something that happens during infant development but won't be passed on? We're not 100% sure. With that said....
2) Why would you want to degenerate the human gene pool even further?
3) Given my neuropsychological condition, am I really fit to raise a child?
4) Given all my flaws and defects, what example will I give my children?
1. No. It is the height of selfishness to want children knowing there is a good chance they would be afflicted with something that would make their lives miserable. If you are functional enough to be a good parent, you can adopt a child that needs a loving home.
2. I think humans need to take responsibility for improving the gene pool. Deliberately avoid breeding people with clear genetic problems, but I also believe that poor parents should not be allowed to bear children. I know the law says procreation is a right, but I've seen enough messed up kids from utterly bad parents who make an excellent case for why forced sterilization is an idea worth reconsidering.
3. I don't think my AS is something that would prevent me from raising a child. My bigger issue, frankly, are the many emotional scars that may impede my being a loving parent or even worse, compel me to ruin my child's life in an effort to save them from all the mistakes and tragedies I suffered. I could not bear watching my child live through the same pains and mistakes that I made.
4. A child learns to be big and strong by the example parents set. You don't have to be a "success" as most people may define it, but you must teach them they are loved, accepted and to encourage them to be independent and confident in their skills and abilities. A lot of NT parents fail miserably at this. Being a parent is not an easy job nor is it for the faint of heart.
Good. That means other Aspies and their kids will have more oxygen to breath. If you wish to commit genetic suicide, go right ahead.
ruveyn
In my case, whenever I think about having kids, I ask myself some of the following questions (and these are just hypothetical questions, as I'd first need to find a woman to reproduce with, which so far seems like an extremely difficult task to accomplish):
1) Why would you want to bring kids to this world to suffer the way you suffered?
2) Why would you want to degenerate the human gene pool even further?
3) Given my neuropsychological condition, am I really fit to raise a child?
4) Given all my flaws and defects, what example will I give my children?
So what do you all think about the way I think in regards to "aspergean reproduction"? Are my views too negative?
(I hope I did not offend anyone with my comments.)
Individual decision.
But if the decision is "yes," be a decent parent.
I may be an aspie or just a highly-introverted INTP but I found my early life unpleasant enough that I wouldnt want to inflict that alienation on someone else. But I am helping to raise someone else's child.
In that regard Ive done ok. Though ive found it hard to control anger sometimes when I am suddenly interrupted and children make many sudden and sharp noises which I dont particularly like. And I am also routinely interrupted by children while speaking, which often leads me to just walk away.
Knowing this is just an expression of opinion, I'm trying not to feel insulted by this. But I'm sad you view AS as exclusively negative and a genetic problem. Not everyone with AS has a miserable life, you know? I happen to like my life. A lot. I'm not suffering from anything, I just happen to have different strengths and weaknesses than the majority of population. (And, yes, in some situations AS is an advantage, not a handicap!) Did it ever occur to you that it's diversity that makes a society work? Lots of very intelligent people who were very useful for their respective societies had Asperger's Syndrome, so how can you consider it a 'problem'?
If you, personally, don't want to have children - that's fine. It's a personal decision. Wanting to keep others from reproducing (by law or by force) is just crude.
I think whether of not someone decides to have children isn't anyone else's business. If you want kids, and feel you have the ability to raise them, nobody has the right to object.
I know of a girl who was the child of a rapist and his Down syndrome victim. She was adopted, and my mom's friend helped fund the girl's way through college. She is an awesome person, living a beautiful life. If eugenics supporters had their way, she would be dead, and so would I, and so would everybody reading this forum. Eugenics is a bunch of Nazi crap.
Personally though, I will probably never have kids. Everyday life is hard enough for me. I just don't think I would be a good mom to a typical kid, let alone manage the challenges of raising one who had inherited my autism. I don't believe in contraception either, so that pretty much rules out marriage and sex for me. That's OK, I'm perfectly happy without those things anyways.
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kaitlyn_loves_music
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Joined: 17 Mar 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 421
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well i dont want kids so whatever it might changed when i get older im still young but seems like too much to take care of them if i could hardly take care of myself.
and marry an NT maybe they wont have it????
but idk i just dont want them cuz im afraid of treating them like crap and then they get taken away thats every moms worse nightmare
sartresue
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Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Age: 70
Gender: Female
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Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
Personally, I think that the state should maintain the right to have the misbehaving children of welfare recepients neutered. I think it is in the best interests of the child that way, personally. I don't intrinsically have anything against them, either. In fact, the truth is that I care for them too much to want to see them getting into trouble as adults or contracting painful sexually transmitted diseases when there is a relatively easy way to avoid at least some of it.
However, I think that, if you are working a steady job and keeping up with your bills and managing to stay mostly out of debt and generally feeling positive about your future, you should have as many children as possible. Fill the world with people who can share the joy that you take in living. The world could use a few more reasons to smile. I can't wait to meet them.
The absolute minimum I expect of people before considering reproduction is very simple: enjoy life, and bring joy into the lives of others. If you can, then odds are even your offspring will be able to.
The world would be a poorer place, though, if people chose not to have children just because they have faced challenges from time to time. Besides, you are seeking help for a psychiatric disorder: would you rather have children who would suffer in silence, or would you prefer they sought help when they need it? Please be sensible. Did your parents see that you were suffering and go out of their way to do their best for you? Were they willing to make sacrifices? If so, carry the tradition on, and make them proud. This is the milk of life.
SoulcakeDuck
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Location: a bubble called Cognitive Entropy
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