I think Aspergeans should NOT have children

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deathchibi
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17 Apr 2009, 7:01 am

blue_bean wrote:
You're gonna have to rip out my uterus from my child-bearing hips in order to stop me from having kids.

Very nice :lol:
But everyone has flaws and I can tell you how each religion has Fruitcaked the "genepool" before us, so us "Degenerating the genepool" is highly illogical and down right silly. :P


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17 Apr 2009, 7:02 am

As far as reproduction is concerned, I believe it is everyone's right to reproduce. I'm really quite sick of seeing people's anti-reproductive sentiments (more so in the Pro Choice arena than one guy's post back years ago of a fear of passing the things he hates about life down to his offspring). To anyone reading this thread considering it, if you really think Aspergers people should not be having any kids, then maybe you shouldn't be having kids for a while at least, not because you are Aspergers, but because you really do believe that. Not exactly a healthy attitude of a parent. To those smart enough to recognize horse sh...t when you see it, more power to you.

Oh, and as far as money is concerned, it isn't whether or not you are financially ready for children, no one is. It's about whether or not you can manage money responsibly. You could have a million dollars, but if you are planning to blow it on things for yourself without any regard to what your children need, then you aren't ready for children. And if you are the type to spend 2 million to make that million, then again, your management of money has lots of room for improvement. But, you could work minimum wage and be a single mom and provide more than adequate lifestyle for your children only if you are willing to make sacrifices for your kids.

And, as far as being ready mentally? It's like money. No one is really mentally ready for children, but if you want children and look forward to sacrificing things like sleep or the ending of that movie to change a diaper, then you are more than ready. I guess in both cases, it's not about being able to as much as being willing to.

Of course, what every child needs more than luxuries, discipline, and drama free life is your love. A lot of people think I sound pretty cheesy when I go into "Love conquers all" type of rants, but it's true. Ask any mother, especially ones who are new moms with young babies. Love does conquer all. When that baby is screaming and crying as hard as she can, and your arms and little kisses to the head soothe that baby, you realize how true it is that Love does indeed conquer all. Plus, when you are sleep deprived and you finally got to lay down and started to fall asleep and a crying baby interrupts that wonderful dream you started having about John Cena, and you are ticked off at the world, frustrated, ready to beat your head into the wall, and then you get to the room with the baby and look at your baby, all the sudden, John Cena and your sleep can hitch a ride somewhere else and a smile pops on your face because you get to hold your baby again. As your baby gets older, if you are observant enough, you notice many other places where your love for your child solves many of your problems, and sometimes if you are really sleep deprived waiting for a toddler to fall asleep, you may start to give some serious thought into the concept of love and God's Love and take it to a level most people will never understand. Either way, I do think a prerequisite to parenting is the ability to love, and not just any love, but unconditional love, meaning no fine print, no terms to the agreement, no warranty, and no limits to the liability. I mean that seriously because once you have kids, you can't return them for a refund or exchange them for a different model, and you are very liable for everything they do in the future. If you are the type to place conditions on your love, I'd strongly consider getting a goldfish instead.



murasaki_ahiru
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17 Apr 2009, 9:01 am

mechanima wrote:
Though I love kids and tend to be pretty good with them, I don't think I personally should reproduce...and was sterilised by my own choice, age 22 because of it.

Im pretty much like you on the opinion of kids. Im jealous that you were able to get sterlised Ive asked about that and the doctors said no. Thanks to the Marion case Marion case in Australia I can't easily get the procedure done.



Danielismyname
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17 Apr 2009, 9:20 am

As long as you're prepared for the possibility that your offspring have a decent chance of having an ASD, I don't see why people with an ASD should stop having children; this should be in the mind of anyone thinking of having a child, as there's always the possibility that he or she won't be within the normal-variance, and it may be harder for you due to such, not to mention the disorder you have that you have to take into account. Well, "you" don't have to be prepared for anything, this is just my thoughts.

Also, it's not like people with BAP and other lesser-variant types of autism know they have it in most cases, and they can pass on HFA to LFA just the same as the aforementioned people with diagnosed AS. These are the people who tend to pass it on in most cases, as many people diagnosed with a more severe type probably won't have children due to their disorder (outcome studies).



sevysgrl
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17 Apr 2009, 11:39 am

I would not say that I suffered, it was hard growing up, but mostly due to my own parenting. Acceptance goes a long way, I was always made to feel like crap about the way I was, totally rejected. My mom was too interested in doing crossword puzzles and smoking cigarettes to help me in any way, just as long as I left her alone. Heaven forbid I got emotional. If things had been addressed back then, it would have made things easier growing up. The lack of parental guidance was my "suffering". My son who has ASD is the only person in the freakin world that I feel completely comfortable with. Everyday I give him what I never had during my own childhood, unconditional love and acceptance and I get that from him in return, I love him to pieces. He doesnt think that my obsession with rotating things is weird and I dont think his obsession with grain silos and traffic lights is weird either. I encourage him in what he likes to do, I wish I could have had that when I was growing up. My social skill or sensory issues do not define my parenting. My own problems give me insight to what he is going through and how to help him more efficiently. Having kids is a personal choice, if you cant handle it then dont, thats your own decision, at least you realize that YOU shouldnt. BTW- I am not polluting the gene pool and neither is my son. :roll:



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17 Apr 2009, 11:44 am

Tantybi wrote:
As far as reproduction is concerned, I believe it is everyone's right to reproduce. I'm really quite sick of seeing people's anti-reproductive sentiments (more so in the Pro Choice arena than one guy's post back years ago of a fear of passing the things he hates about life down to his offspring). To anyone reading this thread considering it, if you really think Aspergers people should not be having any kids, then maybe you shouldn't be having kids for a while at least, not because you are Aspergers, but because you really do believe that. Not exactly a healthy attitude of a parent. To those smart enough to recognize horse sh...t when you see it, more power to you.

Oh, and as far as money is concerned, it isn't whether or not you are financially ready for children, no one is. It's about whether or not you can manage money responsibly. You could have a million dollars, but if you are planning to blow it on things for yourself without any regard to what your children need, then you aren't ready for children. And if you are the type to spend 2 million to make that million, then again, your management of money has lots of room for improvement. But, you could work minimum wage and be a single mom and provide more than adequate lifestyle for your children only if you are willing to make sacrifices for your kids.

And, as far as being ready mentally? It's like money. No one is really mentally ready for children, but if you want children and look forward to sacrificing things like sleep or the ending of that movie to change a diaper, then you are more than ready. I guess in both cases, it's not about being able to as much as being willing to.

Of course, what every child needs more than luxuries, discipline, and drama free life is your love. A lot of people think I sound pretty cheesy when I go into "Love conquers all" type of rants, but it's true. Ask any mother, especially ones who are new moms with young babies. Love does conquer all. When that baby is screaming and crying as hard as she can, and your arms and little kisses to the head soothe that baby, you realize how true it is that Love does indeed conquer all. Plus, when you are sleep deprived and you finally got to lay down and started to fall asleep and a crying baby interrupts that wonderful dream you started having about John Cena, and you are ticked off at the world, frustrated, ready to beat your head into the wall, and then you get to the room with the baby and look at your baby, all the sudden, John Cena and your sleep can hitch a ride somewhere else and a smile pops on your face because you get to hold your baby again. As your baby gets older, if you are observant enough, you notice many other places where your love for your child solves many of your problems, and sometimes if you are really sleep deprived waiting for a toddler to fall asleep, you may start to give some serious thought into the concept of love and God's Love and take it to a level most people will never understand. Either way, I do think a prerequisite to parenting is the ability to love, and not just any love, but unconditional love, meaning no fine print, no terms to the agreement, no warranty, and no limits to the liability. I mean that seriously because once you have kids, you can't return them for a refund or exchange them for a different model, and you are very liable for everything they do in the future. If you are the type to place conditions on your love, I'd strongly consider getting a goldfish instead.



well put :)



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17 Apr 2009, 11:48 am

Tantybi, I liked the part about the goldfish. :lol: Though with some people, I'd probably feel sorry for it, too. That was a very well written post.



Philothea
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17 Apr 2009, 12:11 pm

How can anybody on the autism spectrum promote manditory sterilization? This amazes me. We are all aspies and auties here, so WE are the "defective" ones who would be sterilized, or aborted!

Unless you are willing to have it done to yourself, I don't see how you can condone such a thing for others. I'm guessing most of the men here wouldn't want to be first in line for government required castration.


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Tantybi
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17 Apr 2009, 12:15 pm

Philothea wrote:
How can anybody on the autism spectrum promote manditory sterilization? This amazes me. We are all aspies and auties here, so WE are the "defective" ones who would be sterilized, or aborted!

Unless you are willing to have it done to yourself, I don't see how you can condone such a thing for others. I'm guessing most of the men here wouldn't want to be first in line for government required castration.


LOL let's get all the men neutered for population control. We do it to dogs and cats, why not people? I'm kidding, but it's still funny.



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17 Apr 2009, 12:16 pm

Thank you Eller and sevysgrl. :)



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17 Apr 2009, 12:51 pm

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17 Apr 2009, 1:01 pm

You know, I don't want to have children, but this thread has slightly made me feel different. :D


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Eller
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17 Apr 2009, 1:12 pm

Tantybi wrote:
LOL let's get all the men neutered for population control. We do it to dogs and cats, why not people? I'm kidding, but it's still funny.


Not-so-funny, considering some people really would do it. :cry:



Tantybi
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17 Apr 2009, 4:05 pm

Eller wrote:
Tantybi wrote:
LOL let's get all the men neutered for population control. We do it to dogs and cats, why not people? I'm kidding, but it's still funny.


Not-so-funny, considering some people really would do it. :cry:


Yeah, but those people would do anything if the right person scared them into it. Hmmm, they would also be good potential customers in the illegal drug market.



Shadowgirl
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17 Apr 2009, 4:24 pm

Well that way it would lessen the chance of passing it along. But then that's an individuals choice and I have no say in it.


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AlMightyAl
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17 Apr 2009, 4:35 pm

Well I was not planning on having children, but since YOU claim that I shouldn't have children, as soon as I'm 20 I'm gonna have as many children as I can get.