I think Aspergeans should NOT have children

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Case in point.

1) I think they'd only suffer if they were born as NTs raised by me. Like if I had a normal daughter who was like 16, she would hate me. haha.
2) I'd be allowing something valuable to continue
3) I would be better at raising someone that was like me growing up because I would know what they are going through
4) I'd set a good example that I never got

your welcome

I've moved this topic to PPR.

To all involved - knock it off. No personal attacks, and use appropriate language.


M.

No one in my family has it except me...that I know of. So I don't think it's THAT dominate in the gene pool.

Anyway, people in general are going to risk having something wrong with their children. They could have diabetes, seizures, cancer, mental illnesses, and so one without knowing it.

Of course we should have children. But first we need to find someone that wants children with us so that we can reproduce. Whatever happens, happens, if your children are autistic, then they're autistic, if they're normal, then they're normal. I happen to want children someday, but I would rather wait until I'm married. Who says that autism is recisive, I could have had an autistic relative and not even known it, due to the fact that they didn't know what it was back then. There are plenty of people out in the world who have bipolar disorder, and other stuff wrong with them that shouldn't even be having kids, so why the hell can't we reproduce autistic or not! I'm not going to let this disorder of mine rule me for the rest of my life, I'll control it. The only thing that wouldn't make sence is to have children with someone that you don't really love, or who you think you love but may not have your best interest.

I think it would be rediculace just to be all to yourself, when there might be some potental to falling in love and rising a family, but keep in mind that rising children are exspensive and a big responsiblity, its like my mom says, you need to learn to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

I wonder how many males with ASD have kids ? I get the sense from WP that most of us do not, it seems to me that the majority of of ASD's with kids are female. So perhaps good old natural selection is on the side of the OP. Personally I do not want kids but I don't know if aspergers is enough of a issue to say "you should not have them". I will say if I were pregnant and found out that the foetus had severe autism (yes yes I know there is no such test) I would terminate.

I see once again the idiotic argument that 'without aspies the wheel would never have been invented' has reared its pathetic head again, those of you that hold to this belief really give me the s**ts

In biology, two things counts : genetics and the environment.

Even true twins can turn out being different if you put them in different environments.

And the environment DOES affect our genetics. So there you go.

I think I'd be a fine father in the right situation. It's just the relationship you need with your partner that's the problem or at least that's how it was in olden times.

Most people do that it seems, I believe it is very common for people to make conclusions on many things according to their own exerience. Heck! just look at many arguments and positions.


well, the issue is wether an aspie is capable of properly raising a child or not, frankly I believe I would be a terrible father, might be better for me to not have kids at all, for the sake of the child. I have seen, yeah, it is anecdotal, but anyway, OCD parents screwing their their relationships up and their kids because of their OCD, not that it is their fault, but well, having kids is a big responsability, how many would be that capable or that commited to it for that matter, and I'm speaking of anybody, regardless of being aspies or NTs.

If a parent has some personality issues, such as narcisistic, sociopathic and suicidal tendencies, how would that affect the kids? may be better for them not being born in the first place? not to mention ocd, not saying all aspies are like that, but there are some issues to consider with people having them wether they are aspies or not. Being a little less drastic, when it comes to aspies, how about hyper-sensitivity, wouldn't this be a problem?

Anyway, I did not find Mw99 post to be offensive actually, and well, I believe there is actually a point on this to consider:

I had to answer these. Okay, here goes...

What makes you believe that NTs don't also suffer? Life is suffering... Human beings have a biological imperative to reproduce. (Aspies are humans too by the way, it's not unusual for humans to want to reproduce.) Since it's just as illogical for an NT to reproduce (their children will also suffer as their parents did) this argument applies equally to NTs.
Degenerate the human gene pool? Excuse me? First of all, entropy increases, so the human gene pool will continue to degenerate whether we shag or not, and secondly... I have an IQ in the high 140s, am a polyglot, and have nothing physiologically wrong with me. My son has two aspie parents, and is technically classed as a polymath genius. He's in physically excellent health, and I consider the world is a damn sight better with him in it. Even if he wasn't "perfect", I know kids with extreme autism who make the world a better place... I'm thinking of a non verbal aspie called Yusuf, who sings like an angel in open vowels, and who, if he never does anything else in life, is simply a beautiful person. (Not because he sings, but because he's Yusuf.)
I don't know about you, but I certainly am. My son has been my most profound "special interest", and I know for a fact that he's doing fine... not just academically (as you might expect) but even regarding socialising. He finds it awkward, of course, with kids his age, but he knows he's respected, loved, has a home, is understood at least by his aspie mother and father. He's had the confidence to learn NT body language, and "rules", etc, and approaches the situation in the same way that he approaches learning French or German. I know from my experience, raised by NTs, that it was harder for me. Aspies are well placed to raise aspies... and society needs us as "impartial" and logical observers. I'm not kidding. Imagine a world with no rational outsiders to observe.

That humans aren't perfect, but they do their best?

Absolutely, your views are too negative. I don't know if you had the chance to go to university. About a third of the hard science students displayed aspie traits. I would say at least twenty percent of the folks I studied with were aspie. What would the world turn into if the "nerds" stopped breeding?

Perhaps you are right, and you shouldn't have children. Only you can judge that.

But I'm absolutely certain that I was right to have a kid. I only wish I'd had ten. My son is so remarkable that I regret he's the only one in the world... And yes, I know he's not perfect. But quite frankly, he's bloody brilliant, and if someone made a documentary about him, all the NTs would be asking why their kids couldn't be more like him. In fact, I get that all the time anyway.

So, my advice is, aspies should have kids if they feel like it, just the same as NTs. Yes, our kids will have certain problems... different problems from NTs. But they'll also have different talents. And on top of that... their our kids. There is nothing wrong with us. I'm saying that as an aspie... We're not freaks, we're people. And we make bloody good parents.

(I hope I did not offend anyone with my comments.)[/quote]

Last edited by mgran on 09 Sep 2009, 7:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Then I'm in the minority as usual....

Anyway, I think they're now finding that aspergers is not as dominate in males as was once thought.

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Pretty much my thoughts exactly. My husband is likely an aspie, I'm not sure about myself, and my son is a diagnosed aspie. My husband is a wonderful father and I'd like to think I'm not too shabby either. The world is absolutely a better place with my son in it.

The decision to be a parent should be made on an individual basis only. NT's can suffer from many different psychological problems, many of which can be quite serious. AS is not synonomous with suffering, nor is a neurological difference the only genetic disorder a prospective parent must consider. Many people carry recessive genes for all sorts of disorders that they may be completely unaware of. No child conceived has any guarantee on perfection and many children suffer throughout adolescence simply because those years can be hell. NT's can have bullies, acne, awkward development, bad homelife situations, addictions, bad school experiences, etc.

If you'd like to become a parent and feel that you're up to the challenge, then go for it. If you don't want to, or feel that you would be ill equipped, then don't. One should not project their own suffering on to others. Everyone is capable of having their own experiences.

I don't want kids, but not for those reasons.

I have had two sons. They have grown up to be two different individuals. One got into a terrible accident at the age of three and spent the rest of his life on a respirator and died thirty years later. He was a fantastic person, brilliant, creative, tough and resilient and a pity he never made it into a self sustaining life. The other is also quite brilliant but having severe personal difficulties. One cannot predict how a human will turn out but merely try to help in any way possible. The experience was immensely enriching to my life. I cannot recommend the tremendous difficulties and trials and disappointments to one who is too timorous to attempt this very common challenge. It must be for the individual to decide as it will shape life totally to those who take it seriously and nothing about it is easy.