Grebels wrote:
What are the implications of the statement, that Homophobes are gay. Is it that they might be frightened of actually being repressed homosexuals. That might be true in a few cases, but overall I don't buy it.
More likely, they are frightened by the reaction of their peers and relatives. Imagine that you were a gay or bisexual teenager surrounded by peers who use the term gay as an insult and boast with their heterosexuality. Male kids are especially eager to do this. Anything that remotely reminds them of homosexuality or gender-ambiguity is immediately mocked, called gay, and made out to be something horrible and disgusting. Gay kids who want to fit in and be accepted (who doesn't) learn to go with the program, and fake both an interest in the opposite gender as well as greatly exaggerated disgust for all things homosexual. Ask any gay person; chances are that they went through this phase of denial and/or play-acting as an adolescent.
Now add orthodox Abrahamic religions to this picture, which teach kids long before they hit puberty that homosexual urges and behavior are a grave sin and a one-way ticket to hell. And let's not forget about parents who would be devastated if they found out that their offspring is gay. Their reaction doesn't even have to involve homophobia, it might simply be the dread that their child is somehow different from the norm and will never give them any grandchildren.
This social pressure and the contempt of gay people shown by peers, parents, priests, and large parts of society in general, can be so strong that it drives gay teenagers into suicide. Compared to that, the desperate attempt to conform to social and religious norms by denying one's sexuality (or one side of it) is an easier way out. Of course closeted gay or bi people who are trying to pass as "normal" need to constantly reaffirm and justify this difficult decision by telling themselves and others that they are doing the "right thing". Think of people like Ted Haggard, who did not only marry and had children, he also felt the need to rain down gay hatred and homophobia from the pulpit every Sunday. "If I can't have it, nobody can".