Should inter-generational relationships be promoted?

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I have known older women with younger spouses. I'm only four years older than my spouse, but a work friend of mine married a man 14 years younger. It's unusual, but it does happen. I think there's more social encouragement for men in that direction. Stereotypes can become self-fulfilling.

But I have a problem with the idea of promoting any type of relationship. Why does it need promoting? Why shouldn't people choose their own relationships and the rest of us leave it at that? Comparing a younger woman who is of consenting age to older men having pederastic relationships with young boys in past eras doesn't make sense. They aren't the same thing.

By today's values it's proper for both parties to be consenting adults, and I agree with that. But even so there are abuses, people getting together for wrong reasons and taking improper advantage. That part of human behavior doesn't ever seem to change. Even in ancient Greece and Rome, there were proper and improper mentoring relationships. Some took advantage of the younger person, and it's possible some took advantage of the older one. But it was a part of their cultures. There were also, later on in Europe, pages or squires who were basically small children who did the bidding of older knights or noblemen. The seafaring traditions were similar. Lots of young boys went off to sea - including my great-grandfather, who left home to do so at 13 or 14. They were taught their trade by much older men. Was this sometimes abused? I imagine so.

Again, these were different cultures. I don't think we can compare what was done in those cultures to what is done in ours. Each era and society has its own way of doing things. And in every culture or society there is abuse of those ways.

The key is to try to prevent abuses, but not at the expense of people being able to find the relationships that are good for them.

From one of my favourite movies

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3lKbMBab18[/youtube]

I will only speak from my own experiences here.

From the time I was 16 to the time I was 22, I was used and disposed of by one older guy (age 40 and older) after another. I was looking for a paternal figure, and they took advantage of that. A couple of them coerced me into degrading situations that I was not entirely comfortable with, but I was so willing to have a paternal figure that I went along with it. When I turned 22, I became too old for these men, and they started to turn truly vicious on me. My already-abysmal self-esteem was destroyed by the exploitative nature of these relationships, where I thought I knew what I was doing (but really, I had no clue).

There are some healthy intergenerational relationships out there. But I really cannot condone that kind of situation, unless the circumstances were worlds away from what I experienced. I am learning through therapy how to not blame myself for what happened a decade ago. The kind of situations I was in can really screw with any young person's head.

I had a one-nighter with a woman that was over 40 that I met in the lounge of the local Radisson. She was from out of state and divorced. She either took really good care of her body and face or is just blessed with perpetual youth. Whatever it was she looked much younger. To say she was good in bed would be a huge understatement.
It was after we were done in her hotel room that she told me her age and casually mentioned that her son was my age.
The whole thing just seemed wrong when I found that out.....

......says the boy who lied about the German pirate flag......


Anyway, well done!

Wonder why she didn't lie about her age?what if she did and was actually older than she told Raptor?A female Dorian Gray.

You don't have to believe me but I got carded at Mal Wart and I didn't have an I.d. on me and the crusty old biddie that was working there wouldn't let me buy a bottle of wine.I got carded again for ciggs ..Either I'm lookin' pretty good or these people have no business driving.Later I was told me they are suppose to card anyone that looks under thirty.

No-one ever asks me for identification.

There's always Botox.

Oh, I'm perfectly fine with looking like the old coot that I am.

You claim to be an old coot but I'm suspicious.It could be a front,you can never tell with a Yankee,they are devious

ArrantPariah wrote:

Actually, I think the original was “said the boy that lied about the German pirates” without reference to the flag. I’ll have to go back and find the original. I love going back and reading some of my past handiwork.


Misslizard wrote:

Probably didn’t want to lie about it. Some women (and men) that look much younger than they are like to brag.


I’m guessing it’s standard policy handed down from corporate HQ by people that have never worked the checkout lane themselves. For each instance of one of their stores getting burned for selling a six pack to someone under age there is the obligatory knee-jerk reaction by corporate or regional HQ. Any cashier caught not carding everyone is in hot water and that goes on until things calm back down a little.
I don’t blame the cashier since they are just protecting themselves from the wrath of the bossman who is protecting himself from the wrath of HQ….
I have seen obviously senior citizens get carded and the cashier made a show of looking at the date on the license for the cameras.
And so it goes……..

…………says the boy who lied about the German pirates.

One big advantage of looking old: Senior Citizen Discounts.

U mean like discounts on Geritol?

Are you trying to bust my vanity bubble Raptor ? I also got carded at a private liquor store,but that was three years ago.

AP likes discounts on Viagra!!

Bust your vanity bubble how?

^^^^^Well,it did make me feel good to get carded, and you did point out what's most likely true,ABC in town,card everybody.

I just shed my skin and I am nice and fresh looking You know,it's a Reptillian thing,