0_equals_true wrote:
I think the concept of the "patriarchy" is problematic. I generally don't like catchall concepts, it doesn't reflect the complex world we live in. If you want to alienate people create a dividing line.
I think victimhood in general is bad, even for actual victims. It can become a perpetual cycle. Those that want to be free will refuse to be a victim, even when oppressed.
Agreed. The patriarchy theory assumes that men are ultimately in control of pretty much everything, everywhere. This is only true to a certain extent, and what remains is true because men have a natural tendency to seek out power and authority. This isn't a good thing or a bad thing; it just is. If you want to talk about good and bad, look at individuals. Furthermore, where I grew up the reality was almost the
opposite of patriarchy. At home, my mother was in charge and treated my father quite badly at times. At school, 90% of the teachers and the principal were women. I had more friends among the girls than the boys. I enjoy mostly writing about female characters, and playing as them in video games. True, the distant insitutions we believed in were led by men, but their direct application--the examples that actually shaped my life--was mostly by women.
This did not make a positive difference from other peoples' stories, or a negative one. Growing up with women in charge did not make my life objectively better or worse. I remember this every time someone claims that there would be no oppression or violence if women had equal opportunities or "if mothers ran the world." People who say this do not seem to recognize the full importance of human nature, and how it ultimately dwarfs any physical and mental differences between the sexes. For a real understanding of people and the world, I'll pass on Feminism and take Humanism for 1,000, Alex.
Some women and girls helped me; some hurt me very badly. If there's a key difference between the sexes here, it's not that I never considered myself a victim of those who hurt me; sometimes I did. The difference was that I never claimed victimhood. And the reason is that in my experience, people--women and other men--are generally
less likely to believe that a male was the victim of something. Even more so if that something is gender discrimination or harassment. I doubted the possibility of sympathy or help, and when I was hurt I did not speak up. What women may not realize is that there are some fields and cirumstances in which men simply are not listened to or even respected. We may complain about it less, or complain in a way that sounds like an attack, but it's because we are encouraged to put up a strong front, and feel ashamed when we don't act like the people we are "supposed" to be.
This is even more confusing now, when there are so many mixed messages about what a man is supposed to be like anyway. I am very much in limbo regarding my gender identity. I am supposed to be loud and authoritative and make all the decisions; wait, no I'm not, because that behavior will marginalize others. I am supposed to let women make more of the decisions; wait, no I'm not, because it means I'm lazy, insensitive, or "whipped". I am supposed to take control of a situation and help women when they appear to need it; wait, no I'm not, I should just listen and not offer any solutions at all lest I appear insensitive. Instead of being paralyzed by a single idea of what a man should be, as previous generations were, I am paralyzed by
too many ideas. At least for my predecessors, there was a way forward. For me, there is no right direction to go in. I do not pursue female companionship, marriage, or children. I simply exist, struggling to comprehend the mass vitriol and indecision around me for which both sexes are at fault.
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RAADS-R SCORE:
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13 Oct 2014, 3:22 am
