Rampant issues with feminism....

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To get girls, one has to be assertive and make a stand for oneself. In essence be or fake an alpha male. This is so no matter what the societal correct way to be is.

The big problem occurs when the society peddle ideals or information on how reality is that is inherently wrong. This doesn't change reality, it just waste peoples potential. There's also a systematic bias depending on the experiences from the view of the person you ask.
This is what I think the thread creators anger comes from. Not the situation itself, but being mislead into believing it worked in another way than it actually is. This is the usual bitter taste of dogma or ideology.

Being assertive isn't the same as being abusive however. Even if many men seem to equate this.

KEY: Ask yourself.. WHY? always ask why things are the way the seem to be. As they may not be that way. Assume you are wrong and think through what the right answer is. This way you can find out how things actually work despite being feed bad input from all sources.

What I do think is that women should be honest about their ideals. If you promote one specific set of traits, you should also be attracted to those very same traits. Nowadays, women/feminists tend to promote the traits they wished they were attracted to but really aren't.

That's hypocrisy, and I really don't like being lied to.

Now that's just plain ignorance....

I once dated a dominatrix, a person I really liked. Because I reasoned just like you. If I tend to worship, idolize and be subservient towards women, I should find me a woman who likes that sort of thing.

As it turns out, I believed so much in her female superiority (or rather, so liltte in my own worth), that I couldn't speak up for myself during our first date. That was a three-day-session. No heavy stuff, mind you. No whips and all of that.

But I still managed to crash emotionally afterwards. I managed to hurt both myself and a person I might very well have fallen in love with. I liked her that much.

Both of us are STILL kinda scarred from that incident, and that was over two years ago.


So no, simply believing in female superiority, IMO, is just a way of hurting yourself, and others along the way.

It's not a question of 'should', it's that I suspect they can't.

Last edited by puddingmouse on 28 Nov 2012, 5:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

You gotta grant, it's kind of destructive for anyone to present this set of behaviors that are supposed to be ideal, and then being unwilling to partner up with men who follow such ideals. Kind of like setting them up for failure, you know?

Oh, sure so it seems you followed feminism just right.

And just because you mentioned how you are a nice guy: http://www.morethanmen.org/2012/02/03/n ... riendzone/


How about not?

I don't think they set the behaviors as "ideal" but as basic... So they are merely necessary but of course not sufficient. And if the OP followed feminism at all, he would at least grant that ultimately the decision of whether or not a woman will want to be with you is... hers?

Which suggests me that the OP was only hypocritically following feminism. And he was unlucky to try the stunt on women who were not dumb enough to buy it.

I'm tired of hearing "women like X". Women are people and individuals. What one woman likes will be a total turn-off to another. That's why it's best for a man to just be his best self and look for a woman who is attracted to THAT, rather than trying on different personalities and social masks in an attempt to attract women in general.
For aspie males, I would suggest looking for compatible women at sci-fi conventions and anywhere else geeks gather. There may not be a lot of women there, but most of the geeky men are too shy to make a move so there's not as much competition as you may think.

We come equipped with an appendage.

Some of the Swedish feminists do seem to be a tad extreme:

http://www.vice.com/read/swedish-femini ... on-the-bus

To the non-feminist, her blog just looks like an excuse to take photographs of men's crotches.

http://machoikollektivtrafiken.se/

To be fair, she is not saying that men who sit more daintily can look forward to being rewarded with sex. Miss Vingren is probably going to shag the man who has the most attractive crotch, regardless.

If a man went around taking pictures of women's crotches, and posting his pictures on the internet, then, of course, he would be considered a very, very bad man. But, Miss Vingren is a feminist heroine.

What about starting to emancipate yourself, and do the thing feminism, which you tell to have admired so much, is really about: Just be and accept yourself as you are?

I mean you are telling, that you admired feminism so much, but you do the exact opposite of what feminism is about, and you hide your inner self to amuse others, and then you blame feminism?

I mean, thats what feminism stands up against: To act as another person to enjoy the society, and other people, sacrificing your inner self. Stop acting like other people want you to be, and just accept yourself as you are. Thats what its about. But dont do the mistake again to think, that feminism has something to do about pleasing others. So accept yourself, accept others to be as they are, and yes, that also means to accept if they do not like you the way you are.

Its not about pleasing others, its about pleasing yourself. So i think i´m a modern women, and so on...but i never came to think, that this should mean, that lots of boys should adore with me, and that there would be something wrong and i had to blame someone, because it isnt like that.

So two choices for you: Act to please others, hide your innerself, and start to act as society expects you to be, when you want hordes of women around you. You know, big car, and so on, and so on... But then dont imagine this would be about feminism in any way.

Or emancipate yourself from societys pressure, and accept your inner deeds as they are. And also accept the deeds of others as they are, even if that means, that most of the people wont find you sexual attractive.

Thats the choice we both have. I could start to shave my hair, run to the hairdresser and manicure. Start to wear make up, wear sexy cloths and do all the other sh***y things, if i want to be sexual interesting for men.

Or i accept me and my deeds as i am, like that whats feminism is about, and i absolutely do not care for all that beauty s**t, or do not feel sick because my body got hairs and does not look like a plastic doll, and save my money for building a house instead of beauty s**t like hairdresser. But it was always clear for me, that this meant that i am less sexual attractive for many men. I mean its logic: So if i depend on outer sexual attractiveness every surrounding person can see me and can be attracted, if i relie only on my inner sexual attractiveness, only the few men you know me can be attracted to it, if my inner self is common to their own deeds.

Just decide, whats important for you and act in this way. You want lots of women? Then pimp your car like i had to pimp my body. ^^ Or you want a women that is really interested in your inner self. Then just be the men you are, but accept that this is a long (but in my oppinion positive) way. So i didnt like all the flirting and dating terror, so i had no deeds in this way, and it was easy for me. But if you have deeds about it, then accept them.

@ArrantPariah
I have noticed that men do often sit in a more indiscrete way than woman, but I never thought of it as an attempt to dominate me. I just figure it's for biological reasons.

Before I looked at it I thought it was stupid. After looking I don't see this as a feminist issue but as similar to the really fat people issue. You pay for one seat on the bus, you should be using one seat on the bus and definitely not invading other people's personal space by spreading your legs so wide they are on their seat. If there is room on the bus for you to do that without taking up seats others could use or bothering others I don't care.

If you look at some of the pictures





The offense is not taking up two seats, but rather not keeping one's knees together in a lady-like fashion.

You can find a film on Swedish feminism here

http://www.daddys-sverige.com/3/post/20 ... -film.html

I can't think of a more compelling reason to watch a film.

I haven't had time yet, but maybe someone can watch and report back?

Well then, you should really stick it to "radical" feminists for presuming that women are just a collective mass rather than individual people who deserve the same freedom of choice as men do. You see, why do you think it's ok for members of your OWN sex to presume to know what's in your interests better than you do? It's really depressing how anti-individual the far left is. The fact that women are individuals means that they are not all equal among themselves anymore than men are. Some women are more attractive than others. The more attractive a woman is the more choices she has; ditto for men. Feminists clearly want to eliminate inequality among women, but not among men. Trouble is, they will never succeed with that.

I didn´t ever come up with the thought that a women could be less equal than another, just because she is "less attractive". To whom? The hyper objective attractive grade computer? ^^

Clearly everyobody has other choices in his/her life, because living another life. But that doesn´t make anyone more or less equal compared to others. If my partner, who was studying until last year, would be less equal than other men, because he earns less money, why did i choose him? Sure there are thousend women who will find other men more attractive. As there are women who find him more attractive for being the man he is.

And now? Should i go outside with the other women, so we can catch out whose sense of attractiveness is "right"? ^^ And if i loose, am i forced to accept the other womens thoughts of attractiveness and choose a men, that i dont like, just because other say he is attractive? ^^