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puddingmouse
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06 Jan 2014, 9:06 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:
puddingmouse wrote:
I draw a clear line at penetration because of the vulnerability involved in that act,


What do you mean by "vulnerable?"

puddingmouse wrote:
but I'd also feel the same way if I was in a lesbian relationship and my partner was paying for oral sex because I see that in a similar way.


You're okay with professional fellatio for men, then?

Are there Lesbians who pay for cunnilingus? I've never heard of it, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.


1. If you've never experienced sexually vulnerable, you won't know what it's like. If you've been on the receiving end of penetration (with a penis or strap-on, not fingers,) then you probably have some idea of what I mean.
2. No. I'd dump a male partner who paid for a blowjob. And yes there are lesbians that pay for sex in some form, although it is very, very rare.


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leafplant
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06 Jan 2014, 9:43 pm

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I just don't want to be with someone who sees any sex act I do, but especially the more vulnerable ones, as a service.


Aww, to be young and naive once more..

if only...


I'd be totally up for some escort action, however heating bills and cat food take precedence. But, my birthday is coming up soon, if any of you loaded WPrs wanna cheer me up :wink:



puddingmouse
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06 Jan 2014, 10:02 pm

leafplant wrote:
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I just don't want to be with someone who sees any sex act I do, but especially the more vulnerable ones, as a service.


Aww, to be young and naive once more..

if only...


I'd be totally up for some escort action, however heating bills and cat food take precedence. But, my birthday is coming up soon, if any of you loaded WPrs wanna cheer me up :wink:


I think I'll always be idealistic about sex. I realise how young and naive that sounds. I'm still this way after a decade of being sexually active and getting quite badly hurt. I find the rewards of not separating love and sex outweigh the drawbacks. It's dangerous. though, because all kinds of love, not just sexual, have the potential to destroy you - but I'd rather be destroyed than live with the fear of being destroyed.

I know none of the Wuthering Heights crap about love sounds like it's related to prostitution, but it's about me (and my lover) wanting to experience relationships a certain way. I know it sounds stupid, but it's what I feel I need to do given that I probably only have one lifetime. When I have sex 'properly', I experience something outside of the normal competitive survival mode of existence; it's something full of vulnerability, sharing, passion, freedom and ecstasy (not just pleasure.) I don't want to trample on it, especially because it isn't just about me any more, but there's another person involved in this folie a deux. I see it as a mini-revolutionary activity and I see things like having a consumer-like, cynical attitude to sex as counter-revolutionary.

I realise this sounds completely insane. :lol: It's probably (certainly) some form of mental illness, and the way I feel is just a misfiring of electricity in my brain, but for the most part I like it and want to live it. And there's someone else along for the ride, now.

So, I wouldn't stop people from living a different way to me. I believe people have the right to do what they want with their own body. People can embrace the attitudes towards sex exemplified by prostitution if they want, and it would be immoral to stop them. I realise that all I'm entitled to do is create my own life experience and share it with people who want/respect it as well. I can't dictate to other people who want something different. I can disapprove, but I understand my disapproval is worth slightly less than wombat droppings.


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salamandaqwerty
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07 Jan 2014, 4:46 am

Viva la revolution puddin :)

Prostitution has been legal for quite a few years now in NZ which to me was sensible legislation.
The working girls n guys now have there own union, brothels must meet health and safety guidelines which provides a safer environment and legal acknowledgment of the workers rights.


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jrjones9933
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07 Jan 2014, 5:08 am

Oh, my bad. I thought the thread said Why Is Promiscuity Illegal?

Now I get it...

Well, either way it requires agency and choice, a woman's right to control her body.

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puddingmouse
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07 Jan 2014, 7:25 am

I have nothing against promiscuity. It treats sex like a pastime activity, which is what I experience it as on one level. It's not the full picture but the ethos of it isn't something I totally reject (although I'm not promiscuous myself.)

I reject the ethos a prostitution in my life because it's based around sex being a commodity. Lots of people who aren't engaged in prostitution still behave according to that ethos. But these are all personal choices and one shouldn't legislate against them.

All we should legislate against is people not being able to make their own choices, like in cases of coercion or slavery. I realise that after prostitution was legalised in Amsterdam, the number of trafficked sex workers there increased, but I don't blame the legalisation itself for that; I blame the laws against trafficking not being enforced properly. I think if it's done properly, giving people more freedom to do what they want can let people focus on protecting those who are forced to do things they don't want to do. This is why in countries where it's legal, prostitutes can report abuse and insist on safe sex much more easily than in countries where it's illegal.


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babybird
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07 Jan 2014, 7:29 am

If I was a prostitute and I paid tax on my earnings, then I would have to plead 'not guilty' if I got arrested.

I don't see why a business transaction between two consenting adults should be illegal.

But then I don't know of many prostitutes who would want to pay the tax man :lol:


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07 Jan 2014, 8:50 am

babybird wrote:
If I was a prostitute and I paid tax on my earnings, then I would have to plead 'not guilty' if I got arrested.

I don't see why a business transaction between two consenting adults should be illegal.

But then I don't know of many prostitutes who would want to pay the tax man :lol:


This reminds me of one of the Tangents that Mr. V, our highschool literature teacher, went off on decades ago. His passions were: literature, the law, sailing, and ships. If we got him to go off on any of those subjects- thats all we would talk about for the hour (and you wouldnt need to hear about nor discuss the novel we were studying). Often his tangents were more interesting (and more educational) than what were studying.

Someone asked him how a prostitute would fill out a tax form. He laughed and said "she wouldnt put down 'prostitute' where it asks 'occupation'. That would be testifying against yourself to a crime! She would probably put down 'self employed'."


Most hookers only take cash. Cash only businesses dont generate much of a paper trail. So its safe to guess that the majority of hookers do not report the majority of their income to the IRS.



ArrantPariah
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07 Jan 2014, 9:10 am

Maybe those in the business don't particularly want to be legalized. Not only would they have to pay taxes, but prices would fall dramatically. Just look at all of the free porn on the internet. You can't really make much of a living as a porn star any more. Most of them have probably sidelined into prostitution, and then use porn clips as advertising.



Ganondox
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07 Jan 2014, 10:52 am

Well according to some studies the existence of legalized prostitution allows illegal trafficking to persist easier.


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Tokename
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07 Jan 2014, 12:18 pm

I dont know why the ancient profession of prostitution is illegal. There are moral objections, which require tokenistic political attention/reactions, but prostitution is an accepted norm in most societies, (France for a recent example) Perhaps over time the perception of prostitution will evolve, legalisation/illegalisation today might lead to a change of mindset in future generations. I think people are happy turning a blind eye to vulnerability in all its forms and are complacent until an issue directly impacts on their life. Any thoughts on real freedom of choice?



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07 Jan 2014, 1:16 pm

leafplant wrote:
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I just don't want to be with someone who sees any sex act I do, but especially the more vulnerable ones, as a service.


Aww, to be young and naive once more..

"Naive" implies a childish lack of knowledge. And it's belittling. Now you have puddingmouse saying that she has a mental illness (though obviously she's not serious). Why is having personal standards regarding sex, however arbitrary, considered naive? It's a personal preference, not a matter of knowledge, or even experience, necessarily.

Yeah, I'm young and uptight about sex myself. But I'm also strongly against the attitude that certain attitudes toward sex are "better" than others, and the societal pressures for people to be a certain way.



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07 Jan 2014, 2:02 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:
Maybe those in the business don't particularly want to be legalized. Not only would they have to pay taxes, but prices would fall dramatically. Just look at all of the free porn on the internet. You can't really make much of a living as a porn star any more. Most of them have probably sidelined into prostitution, and then use porn clips as advertising.


yeah..anyone and i do mean anyone can be a porn star these days..

All ya have to have is a smart phone...

And internet link...

And presto you are John Holmes..

or
half of that..haha..
hehe

Not much money in it...

But whateva it takes to turn ya on...

Is all that reALLy counts in the 'longer'
Run as far i see...

and 'feel'
!


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salamandaqwerty
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07 Jan 2014, 3:04 pm

Tokename wrote:
I dont know why the ancient profession of prostitution is illegal. There are moral objections, which require tokenistic political attention/reactions, but prostitution is an accepted norm in most societies, (France for a recent example) Perhaps over time the perception of prostitution will evolve, legalisation/illegalisation today might lead to a change of mindset in future generations. I think people are happy turning a blind eye to vulnerability in all its forms and are complacent until an issue directly impacts on their life. Any thoughts on real freedom of choice?


well said

as to thoughts on true freedom of thought, read my signature


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Tokename
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07 Jan 2014, 4:34 pm

salamandaqwerty wrote:
Tokename wrote:
I dont know why the ancient profession of prostitution is illegal. There are moral objections, which require tokenistic political attention/reactions, but prostitution is an accepted norm in most societies, (France for a recent example) Perhaps over time the perception of prostitution will evolve, legalisation/illegalisation today might lead to a change of mindset in future generations. I think people are happy turning a blind eye to vulnerability in all its forms and are complacent until an issue directly impacts on their life. Any thoughts on real freedom of choice?


well said

as to thoughts on true freedom of thought, read my signature


Good quote, I hadn't read about any of that in a while :)
I dont know if its possible to level the playing field, but it is something I want for every woman. What a world it would be!!



jrjones9933
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07 Jan 2014, 7:00 pm

I like the term sex worker as a political lever, because it brings in a lot of other people besides prostitutes. When you get all the porn actors, cammers, sex chat lines, strippers, and the people who work in and own strip clubs together you have a massive population that deserves representation, and that's only scratching the surface. The issues are all related to choice, a woman's or a man's choice about his or her own body.