Why do lots of people think that people choose to be gay?

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This whole people choose to be Gay thing has never mend one bit of sense to me.Why on earth would anyone choose to be something that for a huge chunk of history including the present day,and in many cultures despised,prosecuted and even killed.For example if we had any choice whatsoever about the even the most basic parts that make up who were are,would have everyone in America have chosen to be White,Male,Hetro,NT,Able Bodied and Wealthy because that would have made their lives a hell of a lot easier.

I think some people don't even know what sexuality means. They think it means who you choose to date and marry and not everyone knows what their sexuality is. I didn't know mine until I was an adult so in high school I "decided" to be straight due to all the homophobia. Then I thought I was bisexual because I find women cute and I have also found some guys cute but I find women cute more often and prefer them more but it was my husband who told me I was just bi curious because I hadn't had sex with a woman yet and I would have to have sex with one first to be bi sexual and then he asked me if I wanted to have sex with a woman and my response was "hell no" so he said "You're straight then." He had helped me figure out what my sexuality was. I also discovered that lot of females find other girls cute and that is actually normal. Even other females get scared and confused too thinking they are a lesbian. "OMG I just checked out another girl's butt, am I gay?" "Oh no I looked at her body, I must be gay." "Oh no I juts thought she was pretty, I might be gay." These were my fears as well as a teen because of all the homophobia so I felt ashamed for finding female characters cute in movies and liking females more than guys.


I used to think that being gay meant dating other guys and choosing to have sex with them and to not be gay, you just had to marry a woman is all so I thought my uncle had decided to be gay after his wife died. I used to not understand why would anyone choose that lifestyle only to be harassed and stuff which was my reason for "choosing" to be straight. Guess what, lot of homosexuals have tried being straight too because they also thought it was a choice so they tried dating the opposite gender and got married to one just like my uncle did back in the early 70's. I am sure that still happens today due to religion and what their parents believe in. So I guess you can be homosexual and still be a homophobic as well. I think that is what we call over compensating. My ex did that and it hurt him and our relationship. now he doesn't have me anymore as a consequence and that is something she has to live with for the rest of her life (she transitioned into a woman finally so maybe she has changed now and isn't that kind of person anymore she was when we were together but too late now).

There are even openly gay mormon guys who are married to women and have biological children and blog about how they choose to live a straight lifestyle.

And they can do what they want. None of my business.

But my aunt is gay, and i have male gay friends, and their feelings and commitments are as real as anyones - certainly as real as mine.

And when people mess with my friends i get angry.

It's not a choice. It goes much deeper and you can't suddenly decide to be straight just because your mom expects you to marry and provide her with grandkids. It's not easy to deviate from the script.

My partner, whom I've been involved with for 18 years lives in a distant city at present, due to various circumstances too complex to go into here. I miss him every day and although we are in daily telephonic contact, I can't wait for the day we can get together again for good. We have an emotional bond and a true love which transcends distance.

I have a guy friend who is in his late 20's early 30's and his family is traditional Romany Gypsy. (Before anybody starts on the G word, thats the word he and his family use and they say is correct, unless you want to use specific names like Kalderdash, Lowara, Siti, etc) He's gay and very out. However, he plans on marrying a lady and have a couple of kids because that is what is expected of him anyway. He knows a few other gay guys in his culture who are out and who have done the same thing. He thinks it's the best of both worlds, his parents and the older people will be happy and he won't have to lie to his wife and they will work things out however they work them out, and he doesn't have to stay in the closet. However I don't think I could do that if I were in his shoes, but he's happy with it.

This has nothing to do with choosing to be gay, but he is choosing to live a somewhat straight life for a few years after he marries and has kids. He says that in those situations in his culture that after a few years of being faithful and after having the kids then both the husband and wife are free to find someone else to fall in love with. Oddly enough many choose to stay together because they do love one another, even if they aren't in love with each other, and they just get sex and romance outside of marriage. He said that those particular husbands treat their wives better than any other guys he's ever seen. They do romantic gestures and take them out and enjoy spending time together, etc. I told him that if something ever happens to my husband I now expect him to find me a nice gay guy in his culture who is my age who I can marry lol. I'll be too old for much sex and romance and being married to a good looking guy who is a good dancer and who loves to go out and who would always make a nice couple with me when we go places would be wonderful in my old age lol. Plus, I love gay men and when I was single I was a fag hag for quite a long time and usually had one particular "gay boyfriend" or other. I always had a date when I didn't have a real date and they always had somebody to bring to family things as their girlfriend. Plus we were usually best friends.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Oh.. i can agree with adifferent name.. who is very logical after all.

'It takes all sorts'; sums up the truth of human being.

All of life is a spectrum of light
from rainbow
to human being.

Some folks like it hard; some folks like raw;
and some folks like it tough; and some
folks do not like it at all.

It takes all sorts sums it up;
and when willing folks are not
available during puberty to release
all the open desires; fetishes of
whatever can become the result;

So, some people choose to LOVE
THE Statue of Liberty; timely I
DO add, considering the date
of today; and others are just
born with the hormone
influencing ways
of dominating
or receiving love AND OR SEX.

I have no idea what sex is until
after the age of 16; but I have
romantic crushes on girls
from the time of Kindergarden;
And yes; I am as sexed up then as
anyone; but the information on the
Bill Clinton Definition of SEX IS DEF.
hidden back in patriarchal censoring
land of the 60's to mid 70's, where I
live in the DEEP SOUTH.

For me, where I live, the sexual revolution
does not get there until the days of Disco
in the late 70's; HA! so thanks GOD for
JOHN TRAVOLTA; AS DANCE brings
hip gyrating freedom to guys and
girls alike! But OH my GOD! seriously
anyone who has any cognitive and affective
empathy at all; understands that NORMAL HUMAN
BEINGS have more need for emotional comfort than
getting it on in the Bill Clinton Definition of SEX; SEX
is for the moment; but hey! REAL LOVE LASTS FOREVER
IN THE MOMENT; IT'S ABOUT LOVE; ALWAYS HAS BEEN;
ALWAYS WILL BEEN; EXCEPT for psychopathic leaning
individuals who think life starts and ends above the
the skirt and below the belt; Religious folks who
hate sex, oughta know enough to know the
best way to end sex is to start a
marriage; sex is all about
diversity for men;
and security
for women.
Men are from Mars
and Women are from
Venus, in general; but
please let's not forget
about the other 6 PLANETS
OF LOVE THAT RANGE FREE
ON THE SPECTRUM OF GENDER
AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION THAT
IS AS FREE AS BUTTERFLY WINGS
WHEN RELEASED FROM GUILDING
CAGES OF
CULTURE AND
RELIGION; repressing
and oppressing human
NATURE AT ITS BEST
IN DIVERSITY
for survival!

All human roles are integral to
the survival of the social group
as whole, ranging from asexuals
to PANSEXUALS AND ALL OF
WHAT LIES
BETWEEN
FOR TRUTH!..

YES,
'it takes all sorts',
to make a human race!
work for long-term SURVIVAL!

AND WHEN it comes to human
survival; we are all pArt of the same RACE;
some folks are just slow getting out
of the starting blocks
of FULLER HUMAN
FREEDOM TO LIVE
free together and
just frigging get along!

I don't understand why sexual preferences are so relevant. I've never made a choice to be attracted to anyone, only whether or not to act on those attractions.

I just don't see why it should matter if it's a choice or not.. People should be able to label themselves how they want and live their life how they choose. If it's not hurting anyone, or imposing on their rights, it isn't my business.

Also, a person can believe that they are gay or straight, and find out otherwise, later on in life. I think it's hard to truly know 100% for certain. If you believe that you are only attracted to one gender, and you change your mind later, it's probably because someone pretty special came into your life, and gave you reason to fall for them. It doesn't necessarily mean that you were confused or wrong about yourself.

We've all got this one life. The quality of that life matters much more than the labels.