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magz
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29 May 2019, 8:07 am

In my country, free public toilets are slowly becoming the norm.

The reason is simple: the cities and gas stations (the most common providers) prefer to keep restrooms free over dealing with people trying to relieve themselves around and cleaning after them.


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kraftiekortie
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29 May 2019, 8:10 am

In France (and in the UK, too), there is usually about a 50 cent (or pence) charge to use the bathrooms even in train stations.

Then you have old-fashioned facilities where there's an attendant who expects to be tipped.

I believe that's a travesty.



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29 May 2019, 8:35 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
^^^I believe people have a fundamental right to relieve themselves in bathrooms outside the home, and I believe public places have the obligation to provide restroom facilities for people. Like libraries and other places open to the public.

If an "imminent explosion" is coming, then I know I can't "wait until I get home."

There are unisexual bathrooms in the US---they are becoming more common, but they are still rare. These sorts of bathrooms almost always have only one toilet. There's really no such thing as a bathroom with multiple toilets which are unisexual.

In Europe, people are frequently charged to use the public restrooms. McDonald's and many pub/bar type places which are somewhat friendly are places where one can go free. In non-English-speaking places, they are usually called the "WC."


Here in Finland, small restaurants and cafes (non-fancy ones) often have only one toilet, so it's automatically available for both genders. There's usually only one or two toilets for the disabled, so they tend to be gender neutral as well.

Here you can't use the bathroom for free in majority of places if you aren't a customer. McDonalds, for example, prints out a code that you can open the bathroom door with to the receipt when you buy something. Movie theaters have the codes in the tickets. If you aren't a customer, you're usually charged 1 € for using the toilet, sometimes more.



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29 May 2019, 8:56 am

Yep. There are "codes" in some McDonald's in European places. And perhaps a very few American places.

In urban areas of the US, a worker usually has a key to the bathroom, or a person can be "buzzed in" by a worker.

In rural and suburban areas, the bathrooms are usually open to all. There is no key, or buzzing in. Most management, if you're not disturbing anybody, will not mind it if you use the bathroom for free. This goes for fast food places, gas stations, truck stops, stores which have multiple purposes, rest areas, etc.



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29 May 2019, 9:42 am

magz wrote:
shlaifu wrote:
I propose we change the restroom signs to pictures of genitals - since the words "man" and"woman" are the culprit, the point where bilogical sex, gender identity, gender expression and gender role all converge.

that only leaves a some of the intersex people uncatered to.

The circle and triangle used in Poland may have come from this...


that's too vague and might still refer to male and female. It needs to be clear that the distinction is based on shape of genitalia and shape of genitalia alone. Therefore, no symbols. Only pictures of genitalia are unambiguously referring to genitalia.

if you wrote "male genitals only", that would bring the term "male" and the blurring between gender and buological sex back into it, therefore useless.
and since the focus is on the looks of a person's genitals, separation into category needs to be done on visual appearance. hence: pictures of genitals.


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kraftiekortie
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29 May 2019, 9:49 am

Of course, there are exceptions....but I believe a picture of a male person, and a picture of a female person serves the practical purpose in the vast majority of cases.

I believe a "gender neutral" person can get away with going into a men's room, at least, if he/she doesn't bring attention to his/her self. Men don't have time to look at everybody who goes into their bathroom. Some men urinate sitting down; it's not all that unusual.

It's a little different for the ladies' room---because women are more vigilant about having women, rather than men, in their bathroom, for obvious reasons.



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29 May 2019, 9:56 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't believe people should be forced to "hold it in" all day. It's not healthy to do that.


I'd rather hold it in than begrudgingly use the women's washroom when I feel more comfortable in the men's washroom.


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kraftiekortie
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29 May 2019, 10:11 am

Have you had bad encounters in the men's room?

I'm sorry if you did.

To me, a toilet is a toilet. They make the same brand of toilets in both men's and women's washrooms. I would just go in, do my stuff, and get out.

I think women's bathrooms have more privacy, anyway----because they have stalls, rather than urinals.

But I get where you're coming from, too.



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29 May 2019, 10:30 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Have you had bad encounters in the men's room?

I'm sorry if you did.

To me, a toilet is a toilet. They make the same brand of toilets in both men's and women's washrooms. I would just go in, do my stuff, and get out.

I think women's bathrooms have more privacy, anyway----because they have stalls, rather than urinals.

But I get where you're coming from, too.


CR is saying that he prefers men's rooms.

As a man I would feel very uncomfortable in a ladies' room. Many women socialise with friends, apply cosmetics and spend time at the mirrors or talking, making it a much different environment than the men's room. Beyond this, CR identifies as male and (I'm guessing) would not want to cause anxiety for any women in the ladies' room if he did not look female.


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29 May 2019, 10:38 am

I should probably stay away given my history of being warned and banned for posting about this topic, but it should be obvious why those "horrible TERFs" have problems with the latest trans-x politics and activism. I hear it's mainly British feminists that get uppity about it on twitter for some reason. I wish I knew why it's British feminists leading the charge, it's probably more interesting than the topic itself.

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kraftiekortie
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29 May 2019, 10:47 am

It's hard to "hold it in" all day. CR was saying that he holds it in all day because he has a hard time choosing which bathroom to go to.

I find that to be a pity. I find that people should be able to go to the bathroom when they feel they have to go to the bathroom.

That's why I was addressing this.



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29 May 2019, 11:04 am

MrsPeel wrote:
VegetableMan wrote:
No, the current system where those equipped with penises got to a men's restroom, and those with vaginas go to a women's restroom. Somehow, I don't think anyone is going to be shot over this issue. If there are cops hanging around restrooms...well, I'm not in favor of that either. Come down to earth, alright?


But you stated the problem yourself - it makes women uncomfortable if someone who appears to be male uses their restroom.
Do you deny that there are people with vaginas who appear male?
Or do you think we must force such people to present in a fashion aligned with their biological sex, however uncomfortable they feel about that?
Kind of reminiscent of autistics being forced not to stim to align with neurotypical expectations of behaviour, wouldn't you say?


Well, I guess it all comes down to who do we accommodate? The women who don't feel comfortable sharing a locker room with a biological male, regardless of what gender they identify with. You can't force people to change their attitudes by law.


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29 May 2019, 11:53 am

Gender and sex are two different things.

Sex is a biological construct that expresses one’s objective reproductive function.

Gender is an ego-based construct that expresses one’s subjective personal identity.


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29 May 2019, 4:02 pm

I've been told I shouldn't be allowed in women's restrooms because I appear male.

The kicker is, I'm biologically female and do not identify as a man. Why should I be forced to hold it in just because some random bimbo is "uncomfortable" with me in the bathroom?

As for separating things on the basis of genitals, that ignores the reality of transgender bodies. Not every trans person can afford to get "bottom" surgery, and not every trans person even wants to. I don't think it's a very good idea to have a transwoman who has been on HRT for years, has boobs, and dresses as a woman be required to use the men's room just because she happens to have a penis. Also, intersexed people are a thing. People cannot be divided solely along the lines of "penis or vagina."


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29 May 2019, 4:34 pm

^My late sister was gay and was very masculine in appearance, even occasionally being mistaken for a man. I never once heard her say she felt uncomfortable in a woman's restroom or that anyone had a problem with her going in one. Could be she just never felt like talking about it, I don't know.

I certainly sympathize with some of the concerns brought up in this thread, but I'm just don't believe you can force societal changes through legislation. You can't demonize someone who is uncomfortable with allowing a biological male in their space in a locker room, and tell them they need to change their attitude. We're in new territory, here. It's going to take time to find our way.


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29 May 2019, 10:01 pm

VegetableMan wrote:
^My late sister was gay and was very masculine in appearance, even occasionally being mistaken for a man. I never once heard her say she felt uncomfortable in a woman's restroom or that anyone had a problem with her going in one. Could be she just never felt like talking about it, I don't know.

I certainly sympathize with some of the concerns brought up in this thread, but I'm just don't believe you can force societal changes through legislation. You can't demonize someone who is uncomfortable with allowing a biological male in their space in a locker room, and tell them they need to change their attitude. We're in new territory, here. It's going to take time to find our way.

It's so enjoyable though.

Planet Fitness revokes the membership of a woman (left) who complained about a "man in the women's locker room" (right).

For me, it's so wonderful to see people get bent out of shape about having the WRONG WORLDVIEW, I think, because as ASD person we're told all our lives that WE'RE WRONG.

"Man in women's locker room" Schadenfreude!

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https://insider.foxnews.com/2015/03/10/ ... ocker-room


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