Conspiracy Theories You’ve Heard

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Now I recent one I just heard:

"Hillary Clinton purposely lost the election with the aid of Russian hacking so the Democrats could then impeach Trump"

Another one:

"Donald Trump deliberately acts like a jerk so that the Democrats have a better chance of winning the next election."

Yeah. Beat me to the punchline. I just heard that, and was gonna post it.

That theory is buzzing around Fox, and around the White House.

Well...

Maybe there IS some logic to that.

Maybe Lincoln engineered his own assassination, and faked his death. Did so so he could ...have the fun of watching John Wilkes Booth get hunted down... because he didn't like Booth's acting!

Ooo ... My turn!

John Kennedy faked his own assassination so that vigilante justice could be carried out against Lee Harvey Oswald, who had sought training and favors from the Soviet Union.  Robert Kennedy did the same thing to start the ball rolling on all the hostility against Muslims, of which Sirhan B. Sirhan was one.

Both Kennedys spent their retirement on a secret island resort with Jayne Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe, both of whom faked their own deaths to escape the drudgery of show business.

Later, Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, and Jimi Hendrix provided the music at the local Tiki Lounge...

How did I do?

LOL ^^ Not bad! You forgot to include Tupac, though.

A real one I just remembered hearing was that the government invented texting to keep young people too busy to revolt (unlike during the Vietnam War). I heard this during the beginning of the War in Iraq. The same person also thought Bush was responsible for the attack on the towers.

His "death" was staged to hide the fact that Tupac was a hologram all along.

It's twoo!* It's Twoo!*


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
No, it isn't. It's a fake tweet I generated myself.

John Lennon ordered a hit against Paul McCartney and replaced him with a look-alike.

The assassination of JFK was an inside job.

Russia helped Trump win the 2016 election.

There is a book called Lincoln's Bodyguard which asks the question: What would post-Civil War America could have been like had Lincoln survived his assassination?

I bought a copy earlier today and have yet to begin reading it.

Michael Jackson was actually murdered.

Elvis is still alive.

RFK was murdered solely by a Palestinian Muslim with a gun that held 8 bullets but actually fired 13 shots and some the bullets turned corners to hit RFK in the back.

Barack Obama was actually the first Muslim to be elected POTUS.

The Mueller Report was all made up to give Americans a bad impression of Trump.

Michael Jackson faked his own passing because he got tired of people accusing him of being a pedophile.

The earth is not flat, but hollow.

The US government interacts with aliens at Area 51.

The New England Patriots deflate footballs in order to cheat so they can win every game.

My understanding is that that's not limited to JWs, but instead is a common belief among a number of minor fundamentalist Christian sects.

I’ve not heard other groups mention the number 144,000 although they could because it’s mentioned twice in the book of Revelation.

Probably Bible Students, who are a branch off of JWs, believe in something similar.

Fundamental religious groups, certainly, love the idea of being “God’s chosen people.” Otherwise, who would want to live such a strict lifestyle? It doesn’t feel great when you are a kid and have been taught to believe that your school friends will die in Armageddon unless they convert. We were actually taught that we shouldn’t call school playmates “friends” and got talked to when we did so. “They aren’t your friends. Do they love Jehovah?” (I didn’t love him, but that’s another matter entirely.) The overall goal seemed to be to make us as weird as possible.

JWs believe 144,000 will be in heaven ruling as kings and priests with all the other spiritual dudes and that there will be a “great crowd” of JWs in the Paradise on Earth. I’m not exactly sure why God will need the extra help in Heaven...

It’s very silly. I never wanted to be in either place except when I was really young.

They regularly attack other religions in their publications and during talks at their Kingdom Halls which sets the tone for individual JWs. They especially like to pick on Catholics. Anyway, all religions, apart from JWs, are part of “Babylon the Great - the World Empire of False Religion that is run by Satan” (That’s a conspiracy theory on its own! )

It’s hysterical to think about now because it often came down to disagreement over minor doctrinal stuff which shouldn’t be that big of a deal and, thus, shouldn’t bother a reasonable deity all that much. Of course, from a sociological perspective, this judgmental stuff served the purpose of promoting group solidarity. Lots of groups do it.

They also used to talk about the Catholic Church’s problems with child abuse regularly until their own problems became known to the public and the typical JW. (It was well known to the writers of the publications and to the many people running and overseeing the scheme...business...cult...whatever.) JWs problems with it might be worse per capita but there aren’t nearly as many JWs around as Catholics.

Whew! I got off track here. Maybe I’m just trying to demonstrate why I don’t mind picking on their group as a whole.

The moon is a hologram.

Somebody has to keep an eye on god to make sure he doesn't change anything and send yet another prophet. God might be the Emperor, but someone still wants to play Shogun.