Are NTs/humans becoming more easily offended as time passes?
People don't seem to consider a person's general character anymore. They don't think 'oh, Mary is usually calm and helpful, if she has one difficult day and snaps, that just shows she is human.' They seem to be waiting for the one difficult day, then saying 'aha! We knew Mary was a bad person underneath! Now we have proof!' When all along it was just a difficult day for Mary.
This does indeed seem to be a growing trend, alas. See my comments in this other thread.
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I think it's good that there's now a growing social norm of respecting the sensibilities of marginalized minority groups.
What's NOT good is the impatience with which this emerging new social norm is getting socially enforced. This impatience, in turn, is one of the causes of some really nasty backlash.
And, frankly, I also feel that this impatience is, itself, a manifestation of ageism, classism, and ablism.
I'm a long time off-and-on LGBTQ+ rights activist. When I was younger, it was more accepted that effective social change takes time.
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Certainly in the UK the output of television is more strictly (?self-)regulated than it used to be, as evidenced by the BBC holding back from re-screening certain sitcoms with arguably racist and homophobic content. I've barely noticed it myself because I don't watch live TV, and absolutely wouldn't depend on it for seeing sitcoms. But then some elements of UK television content seem to have become more accepted - e.g. I don't think they'd have got away with "Bottom" at one time in history, and I think religion is no longer held to be as unlampoonable as it once was. So maybe this new sensitivity thing is quite selective, and some strands of it are less regulated than they used to be?
That last is another point.
Back in the late Sixties many taboos collapsed. Suddenly Hollywood was allowed to put four letter words into, and to show nudity in movies.
Now prudery is coming back into vogue. But its a different kind of prudery about different things. Its okay to cuss, and make fun of religion, and have nudity. But you cant insult the LBGTQ community, or Pakistani immigrants, etc.
Were just substituting one form of prudery for another. So maybe the question is 'which kind of prudery is better?".
Couldn't agree more, progressivism is the new conservatism. I can remember growing up in the 90's and during the 2000's, conservatives used to be the arrogant ones, trying to impose their sensibilities on everybody. The progressives were the cool ones, arguing for the rights of the individual and free speach. Now, somehow, the roles have reversed. Back in the day you were careful not to offend a conservative, now you are afraid you might offend a progressive.
Dear_one
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If they've taken the science out of social science, that bothers me. To me it's bad enough that some religionists and right-wingers seek to discount science, because I think good science is a useful tool for cutting through bigotry and dogma, but who is driving the removal of science from the social sciences? I'm not saying it isn't happening, I just want to know who's doing it.
The doing and the funding are not strongly related. The doers are in a power grab, and the funders have ulterior motives to allow it.
mind you , people say much more harmful things to us than what we probably ever said to them so dont really know what im worrying about
I agree with you 100%. And however hard I try, I manage to offend people anyway and get ghosted/dumped. I never have any idea why.
Although, when I used to get dumped 10 years ago, I sometimes had an idea about what I'd said wrong, but the person didn't tell me so I was guessing.
Now days, I literally have zero idea why I get dumped. Nil. None.
That's another reason I think people are getting more easily offended: Over the years, it's gone from 'me not offending anyone', to 'me offending people with a vague idea why', to 'me offending people with zero idea why'.
Very strange.
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Last edited by KitLily on 02 Jan 2023, 7:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Well said, you hit the nail on the head.
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[b]I don't think people get annoyed that "the world is more" crowded.
No. What I meant by that is, the more crowded a place is, the more people will fight for territory, to be top dog, they will just get annoyed because there are so many people in their face.
Think of rats in a sack. One rat is fine, but the more rats you put in a sack, the more they will fight because they are crowded, squashed, uncomfortable.
As more humans fill the Earth, we have less privacy, less space, less food, less money each. And fighting begins.
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Two things can happen:
1) You are offended by not understanding: then you apologize and explain it again better
2) If the person who is offended does not accept the corrections/explanations, because it is easy to be misunderstood, then it is better to leave the dialogue alone
My problem is, no one ever explains to me what I've done wrong. No one ever asks for clarification. People either just ghost me or spread gossip about me, instead of asking me.
So what do I do? Ask someone: 'you haven't contacted me for a while, everything okay?'
They can say 'I'm just busy alright!' OR 'You're overreacting!' OR 'I haven't contacted you because of that awful thing you said!'
Me: 'what awful thing I said?'
Them: 'don't play the innocent, you know damn well what you said! How dare you pretend not to know?' *storms off*
Me: 'what just happened?'
So what is the solution? I'm mystified.
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There. Fixed it for you. And yes. Seems to apply to autism boards to the extreme as well.
OMG you agree with me! *faints*
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Dear_one
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There seems to be more "with us or against us" going around. I can't be neutral about one group while supporting another that is underprivileged in different ways. I was considered extremely progressive most of my life, but now, I get several kinds of prejudice applied to me without an eyebrow being raised by once allied groups.
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One thing maybe worth mentioning, I have relatives who are certain of the following:
1) That global warming is a scam for political control.
2) That the US is sitting on a huge dome of oil that we're refusing to tap into.
3) That our politicians are stopping any drilling on our soil because they're being paid off by China to buy solar panels.
4) A few of them are convinced of 'abiotic oil', that there won't be any peak oil.
If I even talk about grid battery technology the conversation gets tense fast - my guess is because all of it is scam technology and they don't care whether it's lithium ion or something way more abundant like calcium and antimony, it only exists for China, through the Democratic party, to take over the US.
I remember watching the movie Speed (with Keanu Reeves on the bus) when I was a late teen and it reminded me of something I'd already seen in politics - that a lot of NT's really love to play 'shoot the messenger' if they're hearing something that they don't want to hear or believe. To that end all that has to happen is a political party that they see as scummy suggests and gets behind something and they're immediate contrarians, ie. my party white-hat, theirs black-hat, so their positions tend to be an immediate minus-sign on almost anything that party does.
My problem with that and why, particularly in the US, R and D politics bores and discourages me, they're both incredibly incomplete bags when it comes to the reality of our problems. Yet, for a lot of people, if you don't speak of human existential crisis as a team / party sport then whatever you're saying isn't something they're interested in digesting. For example the metacrisis? No hope of even beginning to broach that one.
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1) That global warming is a scam for political control.
2) That the US is sitting on a huge dome of oil that we're refusing to tap into.
3) That our politicians are stopping any drilling on our soil because they're being paid off by China to buy solar panels.
4) A few of them are convinced of 'abiotic oil', that there won't be any peak oil.
If I even talk about grid battery technology the conversation gets tense fast - my guess is because all of it is scam technology and they don't care whether it's lithium ion or something way more abundant like calcium and antimony, it only exists for China, through the Democratic party, to take over the US.
I remember watching the movie Speed (with Keanu Reeves on the bus) when I was a late teen and it reminded me of something I'd already seen in politics - that a lot of NT's really love to play 'shoot the messenger' if they're hearing something that they don't want to hear or believe. To that end all that has to happen is a political party that they see as scummy suggests and gets behind something and they're immediate contrarians, ie. my party white-hat, theirs black-hat, so their positions tend to be an immediate minus-sign on almost anything that party does.
My problem with that and why, particularly in the US, R and D politics bores and discourages me, they're both incredibly incomplete bags when it comes to the reality of our problems. Yet, for a lot of people, if you don't speak of human existential crisis as a team / party sport then whatever you're saying isn't something they're interested in digesting. For example the metacrisis? No hope of even beginning to broach that one.
This tribalism in politics I suspect that it's an NT phenomenon. I always found myself frustrated by it. I don't think that we have it, at least as much as NT's have it. I find it to be intellectually lazy. A bunch of people thoughtlesly echoing a set of arguments just because they legitimise their tribe. The climate change cult being one of those clusters of collective believes.
That's true for me as well. Until fairly recently I was viewed as a progressive. Now suddenly I'm an ultra-conservative for saying the exact same things I used ta say, at least in principle.
techstepgenr8tion
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Yeah, it's almost like disparate facts are straw they're building nests out of, or perhaps more to the point of what their constructions yield it's closer to family crests where to attack inherited beliefs is to attack the nest. I almost have the takeaway that reality-testing isn't just something they aren't thinking to do, it's almost like it's not even on their radar because that's not what facts or ideas are supposed to be used for.
One of the things that separates a lot of aspies, and I think it hit me maybe worse than many, is the desire to think through an almost Platonist lens about things. I remember reading and listening to Manly P Hall (early/mid 20th century Rosicrucian / Masonic / Hermetic philosopher) and he was *very* much this way, and one of the clearest examples was him saying that the difference between honesty and integrity is that the honest person gives back something like ten cents for a ninety cent purchase from a dollar is because it's the moral thing to do whereas the person with integrity does it because $1.00 - $0.90 = $0.10. That last part, his description of integrity, is something that the Catholicism of my childhood encouraged, I didn't have the wiring to hand-waive it and figure out how I could use the semblance of that to be manipulative and beat people in zero-sum games, rather I took it quite seriously and a large part of bullying, other than just being different in any way, shape or form, comes from the naivety of thinking that 'humans' are little Greek philosophers, ever-curious and pursuing truth, and if they aren't like that someone hurt them (sometimes someone has but everyone else seems to get it too that if you think of life from a cosmologists level rather than a playground bully level that you're a moron and deserve to be mugged for your lunch money). That last sort of naivety was the late secular humanism that grade school also hammered in, and I often jokingly call it Millentology because it's almost like they took John Stuart Mill's liberalism and added L Ron Hubbard's e-meters and glassy-eyed true belief to it for good measure.
It's a bit like a lot of us are missing the Darwinian wiring and have to learn it the hard way through life, ie. we don't inherently get that the point of life is to stab each other up over genes and who cares if the world burns or if we go extinct in a generation, blessed is he or she whose the last alpha of human history.
As far as the sort of 'spergy' Platonist ethical orientation - it might be that the world ultimately needs to head in that direction for us to survive as a species but we're really early on that and, a bit like they say in the venture capital world, early is the same as wrong (though with this sadly someone has to do it first, and it's starting with those of us who do it almost involuntarily).
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Exactly!
People nowdays think: 'if you're not one of US, you must be one of THEM.' and that's the end of the friendship.
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