Why do lots of people think that people choose to be gay?

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When I was in the military people were choosing to be gay so they would get kicked out. As the military would kick out gay people. I am sure the porno industry has plenty of people willing to be gay for money.

People choosing to be gay happens.

Gay for pay isn't "choosing to be gay". It's choosing to have sex with someone of the same sex. Being gay is being attracted to that sex and wanting a relationship with someone of that sex. Anybody physically can have sex with someone of the same sex, that doesn't make them gay. The attraction and desire for it is what makes them gay. A gay person who chooses to have sex with the opposite sex isn't choosing to be straight. They are choosing to have sex with the opposite sex for whatever reason, and some may be attempting to choose to be straight but that doesn't mean they succeed. Being gay or straight has to do with attraction and desire and romantic love or the potential for romantic love, it doesn't really have much to do with who you might have sex with for reasons other than desire.

But once having left the military, how long did they remain gay? Not very long, is my guess. So rather, I would suspect they were only pretending to be gay by going to the extreme and having sex with other guys!

There is something called a "Marriage of convenience".

Marriage of convenience "is a marriage contracted for reasons other than that of relationship, family, or love". Instead, such a marriage is orchestrated for personal gain or some other sort of strategic purpose, such as political marriage"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_of_convenience

For example, when twenty-six year old Anna Nicole Smith married the 89 year old billionaire oil tycoon. According to your definition this is not a heterosexual couple? Because likely she is only marrying the guy for his money, and according to you, money is not a legit reason to establish attraction ?

Two people can be legally married, and not be a couple.

Surely you understand that your own preferences aren't universal, right.

Interestingly, Aghogday mentioned spectrums before embarking on his metaphysical journey to Venus and beyond. Sexual attraction can broadly be broken down into two intersecting spectrums - emotional and physical attraction - with each represented to different degrees in different individuals, and with some interesting extremes. For example, there are a fair number of people who identify as "demisexual". Demisexuals are incapable of feeling sexually attracted to anyone they do not have a strong emotional bond with.

More extreme yet, there are some people who feel emotionally attracted to one sex, yet sexually attracted to the other.

I'm inclined to ask how you would envision your relationship with Amy Schumer. Is it safe to assume your desires are more of the "make love" variety rather than a desire to "give her one"?

A great deal of study has been done into the purpose of orgasms in social animals such as ourselves. It's generally accepted that orgasms exist primarily to reinforce the emotional bond between a male and female. Although the potential counter-argument that it's simply a 'reward' for fulfilling your biological purpose has some merit, the two are not mutually exclusive.



What were their grounds for disagreement?



Aye, it's an alarmingly common experience.



Completely agree with you here, JakJak. Any sexual encounter between two legally consenting people is nobody's business but their own.

Well that would depend on whether you view money as part of a person's identity or as a separate entity to them. Was she attracted to him at all, or solely attracted to the wealth?

True.

I expect we will see a lot of "gay couples" getting married who are not actually gay, or only one partner is gay, just so they can take advantage of government welfare benefits. These are "marriages of convenience". As I noted earlier, I have seen it happen in the military so soldiers could get kicked out.

So, people will *choose to be gay* for financial reasons.

I sure this happens much for heterosexual couples too.

You twisted everything I said around. Considering that both Anna and the old guy were straight and married to each other they were a heterosexual couple. Neither one was gay and just "being straight" for the marriage. However, I doubt she was romantically attracted to him even though she was attracted to his money.

I'm well aware of what a marriage of convenience is, but being in one doesn't make one gay or straight. It simply makes one married.

I also never said money wasn't legit for attraction but being attracted to a guy only for his money is nothing like actually being attracted to somebody for typical attraction.

I never said that somebody can't choose to live either a gay or straight lifestyle if they are the opposite orientation, I simply said that doing so won't change their orientation, they will still be gay or straight.

Anna Nicole was a gold digger. There are plenty of those out there. That doesn't mean most women are though. While a guy having a lot of money is always a nice bonus, it's usually not the main factor. For some girls it is, and the most important. For others it's very important and they wouldn't date a guy who didn't have at least enough to make them middle class, and for some it doesn't matter at all. My husband comes from money but he doesn't have any himself and we won't get that until his mother dies, and even then there is no telling how it's all tied up to give my SIL the actual control over it. I didn't know that his parents had money until after we had dated for a long time and were in love. It didn't matter to me either way though. He was a construction worker and I was aware that he wasn't ever going to be raking in the cash, but I loved him not an idea of money. Before I dated him I had dated a guy who was in the group of friends that I hung out with and who was a nice guy but I just wasn't attracted to him romantically. He was also really rich and had fallen for me. I went out with him for a while thinking that because we were good friends and got along and I liked him that I would develop a romantic attraction to him, but I didn't. I also didn't feel right dating him when I didn't like him that way and just because he had money. My mother had a fit when I told her I was going to break up with him, but she got over it. Money wasn't the most important thing at all.

So, I don't know how you misinterpreted what I said to get the ideas you got about what my position is, but I hope I've cleared things up now.

The subject is 'choosing to be gay'. Not 'choosing to pretend to be gay for personal gain'.

Not the same thing.

Pretending to be gay to get kicked out of the army is not the same thing as really being gay.

Because they want to hate gays and don't want to admit they're hating someone for something they can't help.

Sexual abuse histories are sadly very common in women regardless of orientation. I've heard that around 25-30% of women have suffered some kind of sexual abuse, the vast majority at the hands of men. So just because there's a lot of lesbians who were abused doesn't mean there's any correlation between abuse and being a lesbian.

As for denying 'viciously', well, it gets pretty annoying to be told over and over that sexual abuse made you a lesbian when you're certain it didn't.

BINGO!

Just because you don't like sex doesn't mean you can't have it anyway. Plenty of asexuals have sex, because they feel it's expected of them, to please a sexual partner, or for other reasons.

On that subject, there is the idea that gay men are homosexual because they had been sexually abused as children by men or other boys. But the fact is, plenty of gay men have never been sexually assaulted by anyone, and plenty of boys who have been sexually abused by men don't become gay. I think it's simply a coincidence that some boys who are genetically predisposed to being gay had been abused, then grow up wit same sex attractions.

Thanks.

I don't want to beat a dead horse. I have a different perspective as someone who has no attractions and has been alone my whole life.

I see sexual orientation as flexible not fixed. That is how the porn actor is gay one day, and hetero the next, because of the attraction to money.