Can we AS sufferers reproduce with a clean conscience?

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Here is another controversial topic.

Choosing whether or not to have/raise a child is a private matter, to be considered within the privacy of one's life/support group. I did not consider genetics when I planned to get pregnant. All my children are wanted and loved.

I am the mother of three wonderful NT children. Like many of the other posters, I value my privacy. In a family (two or more people), compromises have to be made for the good of all. Respect for others feelings, privacy and the like is mandatory. My children are aware of my AS. I have 34 years of mothering experience. Am I perfect? No. I do the best I can as anyone with a challenge can attest to. I don't regret having children and if others choose to be child free (and there is a choice) then that is their decision and there is no need to apologize.

Yes, aspies can reproduce with a clean conscience.

Reproduce what?????

Oh, oh, children <just kidding>

We are talking about the production and reproduction of life itself here!! What some might call human resources (and why would they do that?). Or rug rats. Could you at least pay Nominal attention to the thread?

Actually, I was hoping that someone might give me a suggestion on how to reproduce a pizza. I am getting hungry.

why not order some instead of reproducing unless your at a time like me when pizza places are usually not open.

I just thought it was a good line. I actually had a king-sized pizza a few hours ago.

I am not an 'AS Sufferer", personally. I do not 'have Asperger's" I am a Brahmin! I'm certainly glad that my AS father and ASD-whatever mother did not decide not to have me, or there would be NO JOHNPIPE108 POSTING HERE TODAY!

I have just posted my "aspies are brahmins" hypothesis.

Raising small children is STRESSFUL, for sure, but that goes for anybody. Even "normal" people will regularly be pushed to the limit. Add a little circumstantial stress to the equation and anybody can snap. But you can always pick up the pieces as well. Perhaps your children will learn a little resilience... a little forgiveness...

In terms of whether or not Aspies can procreate with a clear conscience, I cast my vote for: certainly. Perfection and normalcy are not prerequisites for having children, nor is the decision to have children an entirely selfish act. Like any other relationship, parenthood is both give and take... in fact, with the best parenting you can muster, it can even be an offering to the world... a contribution. Everyone experiences hardship of some type and no one chooses to whom or where they are born...these are things that are beyond our control. Perhaps Aspies have some extra difficulty coping in certain aspects of life, but we have plenty with which to compensate for our short-comings.

My only suggestion would be to space the births... generously... to give each child their due. It's hard to erase injustice and neglect (although not even that is impossible).

Me too.

Unfortunately, I can see that my lack of social skills interferes with my ability to relate to everyone, including children. If I had children, I wouldn't be able to understand their nonverbal language or emotional needs very well, so wouldn't be able to nurture them. That's why I think it would be irresponsible if I had children.

NTs have that problem too. You might have a better chance at learning how to nurture your children.

No. NTs have the instinctive ability to understand their children's nonverbal signals, and understand their children's perspective. We lack this instinctive ability, and have to use our intellects to compensate. That requires us to have strong motivation, persevere, and of course have the required intellectual ability in the first place.

This isn't necessarily true. My sister misreads her 16 month old daughter about as often as she gets it right. It's not always instinct, sometimes it's just pattern recognition. When she screams a certain way it means something specific, same as when she mumbles a certain phrase. I don't spend nearly the same amount of time with her, but even I have been able to pick up on a few things that my sister misses.

I have had similar experiences actually. I remember being with my mother (both of us have AS) and our eight-year-old cousin/great-niece. I could pick up a lot of the child's nonverbal signals that my mother was missing. Still, I feel that I would miss too many of them to be a good parent. And, even when we do pick up the nonverbal signals, that doesn't mean we have the ability to respond appropriately.

From what I've heard and seen, parenting isn't something you can really prepare for until it happens. People who might seem to make bad parents often turn out to be good ones when the time comes, just as often as those who plan out every detail beforehand get completely lost.

If all else fails...

When the baby's hungry, feed him; when he's wet, change him; when he's tired, put him down for a nap. It may take guesswork or a process of elimination (only so many choices) in the beginning to figure out what each sound means, but eventually they can be deciphered. Otherwise, spend every minute you can playing and interacting with him.

And remember that babies don't know subtlety. They're easier to read than you think.

Truth be told...if I were to have kids and even if they are NT, I would worry that if they had kids...their kids may have AS or other ASD.

I know that having AS isn't the "end of the world" [worst outcome]. Saying that, I don't want my kids or anyone in my family in the future generations suffering like I did for a long time.