GinBlossoms wrote:
So I am doubting my faith in God. He's just a man in the sky with a complicated philosophy. Big deal. I'm sick of thinking about him finally. Why? He screwed the world over, especially since 9/11 (did he kill himself that day or go away or something?), a lot of bad things happened in the world. The afterlife Heaven is sometimes just as ridiculous as the afterlife of Hell. I want to go to neither. I'm told to be thankful, but how can I be thankful when we depend on a job market to survive (which craps now), our current administration in the White House (I wish we can make conservative ideas more popular again, they're only unpopular because people made them that way). Sometimes, I hate God, and I hate death. I'm very furious now. Why can't he make things go back to where they were after 9/11?
I recently experienced my
own 'crisis of faith' when I started blaming God for all the 'bad karma' that has been happening to me lately.
"I love You, I worship You, I ask You to help me, so why the hell aren't You doing it? Are You ignoring me God? are You even up there, God? are You deaf or something? blind too, because You can't see what's going on?....God?....GOD, ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!! !"
So, my brother goes "you are in a deep crap-hole because you PUT yourself there and you're blaming everybody and everything else for it...sure, there may have been a few unlucky 'contributing factors', but overall aren't you doing exactly the same thing as those who have wronged you?"
Yeah, so where did all that
unconditional devotion to my chosen deity go? where?
I am also asking God to help ME, so maybe if I prayed for and helped
others, God would then care for me and start listening to me by default of His 'Grand Design' i.e 'good Karma erases bad Karma'.
I have only recently had my faith fully restored, after experiencing the darkest 'Night of the Soul' one could ever go through.
Here is a true story (I have no reason to misinform).
I am staying with my brother for a few days before I move on (if the current arrangements do not eventuate).
Two nights ago, I saw him setting up a mic in front of his PC and I asked out of curiosity 'what is that for?'
Apparently, he is getting too lazy to type stuff anymore and wants to access his PC and the internet purely through speech alone (Google already does this, but he doesn't want to type
anything).
I asked him if he was using any Speech Recognition software like Dragon Dictate, and he said he had a copy of that floating around somewhere, but had to go and find it.
I remembered that I also used to own this and could even see what the product looked like in my mind...I held it there briefly.
The conversation didn't last long after that, before the topic was changed to something else...
Fast forward to the very next day (yesterday)...
Part of my agreement for my temporary stay, is that I have been given a list of daily chores to do and one of these, is to collect kindling wood from around their property for their fireplace.
I collected all of the small twigs I could find on the property, but there wasn't many at all...not enough for a few days even, so I decided to walk down the road a bit to the council park to see if I would have more luck finding branches and twigs there...
I went to the rear of the park where all of the big gum trees were, and started to forage around in the undergrowth, when I saw something shiny out of the corner of my eye about 5-6ft away...I instinctively went over to investigate...
Partially covered by dirt and leaf litter was an old, scrached CD...I cleaned it off, turned it over and read the label:
"Dragon Dictate"
01 Apr 2014, 4:55 pm
