A different subject I’d like to talk about

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League_Girl
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04 Jul 2022, 11:48 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Here’s a quote from the article:

“Shawna was deemed to be a sexual predator after pleading guilty to having consensual sex with a 14-year-old boy when she was 19.”

Sex with a 14 year old is not consensual. Disturbing stuff!

The other lied about her age and used fake ID to get into a 18 and up place. How is he supposed to know she is a minor when he was barely even an adult himself? I have mistaken 15 year olds as being young adults at that age. I feel you're blaming victim here. It's impossible to prey on someone whom you think is your age if you are unaware of their actual age because they lied and used fake ID.

What she did was legal rape because he certainly didn't consent to it.

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funeralxempire
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04 Jul 2022, 11:50 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

IsabellaLinton wrote:

The 19 year old woman who came to visit my daughter was queer.
This was at the age when I started to suspect my daughter liked girls.
I would be wary of any 19 year old being interested in a 14 year old regardless of gender.
It had an extra layer of crush / sexuality about it.
Looking back I bet the 19 yo was autistic, and developmentally delayed.

That wouldn't change anything in my mind though.

No 19/14 should be in a relationship, or any ages close to that.

Had things had turned out differently, would you have sought to have the book thrown at the other woman, or would you ensure things end, explain why it can't be allowed and see that's enough to get the desired outcome?

I can't imagine having a good solution if I can't not perceive the older one as also being a kid/approximate peer. You wouldn't want to turn a blind eye to someone who's emerging as a problem; I'd worry about labelling someone as an emerging problem if it never amounted to more than a teachable moment but it might be impossible to tell until years down the road.

It's hard to say because I see it all in hindsight now.
They met innocently enough on a special-interest forum.
It wasn't like this chick was cruising the internet looking for minors.
She had also travelled much of the world meeting online friends.

When I got the airport phone call, my daughter showed me a lot of correspondence.
It was a lot of harmless shared-interest stuff.
She'd also received some hand-written cards and letters, all very cosplay type stuff.

It was the kind of thing where I couldn't exactly tell my daughter to stop contact.
I had to be reasonable enough to see they had a good friendship.
I wasn't about to kick my daughter off the internet or monitor her use.

If she had tried anything romantic or sexual during the visit, I would have reported it.
It never did turn into that, but I was very leery and freaked out at the time.

Ah, I made the false assumption you disrupted it but that's probably the ideal approach because it encourages openness so it doesn't become something that's sneaky, there's no fights, you might get to know them more, etc.

Based on my experiences at that age you sometimes end up with a slightly clingy extra kid if you like them and the friendship continues or develops.

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TwilightPrincess
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04 Jul 2022, 11:51 pm

League_Girl wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

That’s what the article says. There’s no clear evidence to go upon, though, especially based on how the article is slanted. It seems a bit fishy to me that the writer didn’t use this example in his documentary.

In any case, we need to make sure that the person we are sleeping with is of legal age.

funeralxempire
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04 Jul 2022, 11:53 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

(This is a very triggering conversation for me.).

You're not the only one but I won't accuse you of making it all about yourself because that would be needlessly cruel.

IsabellaLinton
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04 Jul 2022, 11:56 pm

funeralxempire wrote:

I remember at the time telling her to imagine if the 19yo was a male.
Everyone would label him a creep and a pedo.
I had the right to protect her within an inch of my life.

Now she has young female cousins around age 14.
I've asked her how she'd feel if a 19yo woman (or man) flew across the world to meet them.
Especially if it was a big secret from the 14 yo's parents.

She gets it and agrees.

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TwilightPrincess
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04 Jul 2022, 11:58 pm

funeralxempire wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

(This is a very triggering conversation for me.).

You're not the only one but I won't accuse you of making it all about yourself because that would be needlessly cruel.

I didn’t claim that this was all about myself. Just some of the things you’d mentioned in your post happened to be triggering.

I didn’t claim that you were intentionally trying to trigger me.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 04 Jul 2022, 11:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CubsBullsBears
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04 Jul 2022, 11:59 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Adrian had no choice but to plead guilty to four counts of lewd and lascivious battery of a person under 16.

Lewd and lascivious battery??!

That's a hella lot different than sexual interference or statutory rape.

Let's look that up.

This sounds like something that Florida residents / visitors should know about.

As they say, ignorance of the law is no defence.

https://www.hornsby.com/crimes/sex/lewd ... ttery.html

I saw the article myself, and “lewd and lascivious battery” is stated to be just another term for statutory rape, which again, is statutory rape that was unintended for some who have been put on their registry, involving very harsh rules, for the rest of their lives.

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League_Girl
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05 Jul 2022, 12:01 am

A teen is not a victim if they lie under oath about their age using fake ID posing as an adult. The adult is not truly consenting to sex.

If my daughter did something like this, she would have a big talking to but I will not go to the police to ruin a innocent man's life because my daughter decided to decieve an adult to f**k around.

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funeralxempire
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05 Jul 2022, 12:03 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

I'm glad her response wasn't another red flag because I can see judging putting herself in that situation as one.

IsabellaLinton
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05 Jul 2022, 12:03 am

CubsBullsBears wrote:

IsabellaLinton wrote:

You're right.
At first I thought it meant actual battery, like hitting her.
Statutory rape is no joke though.
The law clearly says that ignorance of the person's age is no excuse.
It must be terrifying to be a teenager or young adult.
That's why I say err on the side of caution for all people.

If I didn't know a certain law where I live, I'd still be liable.
It doesn't have to be about sex.
Criminal convictions can destroy our lives.

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League_Girl
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05 Jul 2022, 12:07 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Minors can legally rape adults, just lie about their age and use fake ID.

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funeralxempire
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05 Jul 2022, 12:11 am

I think I'm pretty consistent in general for advocating for different categories of people who may have differing issues (especially involuntary issues, not intoxication) to have those taken into account when they interact with the legal system, depending on the extent to which they may be appropriate.

This particular issue, given the lifelong designation afterwards along with the higher potential to be victimless means cases need to be judged on their merits. That potential should not be confused with a guarantee, not every case deserves leniency and some deserve everything they get.

funeralxempire
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05 Jul 2022, 12:12 am

League_Girl wrote:

Minors can legally rape adults, just lie about their age and use fake ID.

Don't Stand So Close To Me, the darker, edgier version.

Jakki
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05 Jul 2022, 12:36 am

Tough subject…. And where did these two rate on the emotional maturity spectrum, at nineteen , I was considering
The biggest law I might break would be unintentionally running a red light . Or Jaywalking . ? Or even understood about laws . Please do not consider ,I am making excuses for anyone . I just had a very limited knowledge base on the topic at that time . And made decisions based on that .

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Kerch
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05 Jul 2022, 1:50 pm

Of course it's not equivelant to some old f**k raping a baby and the punishment may be overkill, it's still wrong. Young people should be very strongly protected against exploitation and anyone who takes advantage of them shouldn't be let off easy.

I'm sick and tired of people getting so sympathetic to sexual predators these days. Like those people don't get away with s**t too often already.

Also of note that this is far from the first time I've seen funeral defend pedophilia. Nice going.

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05 Jul 2022, 2:22 pm

Kerch wrote:

Also of note that this is far from the first time I've seen funeral defend pedophilia. Nice going.

When you define paedophilia yourself, you can make such assertions about people who show deviations from your position.

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