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I am a Christian and really want to be able to go to church but it just isn't happening. It is to loud, to bright, to many people touching me, to much moving around, to many expectations, to many places where I am supposed to talk, and the list goes on and on. Then there are the issues of hypocrisy and finding a church where I agree with the doctrine (not to hard).

i was just wondering if anyone else has ever dealt with this and how you worked through it or found some place you were comfortable. Thanks!

Perhaps wear sunglasses and earplugs. Isn't Church is intended to be a social experience not an enlightening one?

Mathew 6:6 Shut yourself up in a room alone and pray there.

ruveyn

I don't like going to Church myself, but do anyway.

-light touching
-stinky smells like, perfume/cologn, farts, the bathroom, diapers, mold in the air conditioner, ect. There's always something to annoy me.
-my hair always being greesey, on Sunday morning.
-the lack of rest I get, one way or another.
-other people's want or requirments for social connection
-over done niceness
-when some guy steps up to the podium to torture the standing, head bowing audience, at the end of service, with a real long, real slow prayer that takes 5+ minutes, because he keeps pausing over and over for "feeling".

I would prefer not to go, really.

Is there a particular denomination you are attracted to?

I'm a Southern Baptist kind of guy. My home church was always a happy, traditional (in that backwoods kind of way), praise-the-Lord kind of place and I'm really glad I grew up in it. The sad thing is that while I was in college, it went through a period of division that was basically spurred on by our pastor. A LOT has changed since then with more youth becoming involved. There are talks of building a new, bigger, updated sanctuary (the current one that's been there since my day still looks pretty much like a house with pews in it).

I went through a period in college when I had a difficult time finding a good church to attend. I was too hung up on my experiences at home to really try to worship with people I didn't know. When I was in grad school, something in me just woke up with a need to worship with people again. I just had a feeling that MAYBE there'd be a SBC church in Northern New York, and I actually did find one.

That's where I was exposed to the concept of a "praise team" for the first time and making contemporary Christian music part of praise and worship. It was the first time I made myself go somewhere where I didn't know all the songs! The worship style was much more inclusive than what I'd been used to, so it took a lot of adjustment.

I'm a piano/keyboard player at a larger church where I accompany choir and perform with a praise band. The church I attend now at various times included the very wealthy and affluent among its members, has had a history of high worship, but has relaxed a LOT since I've been attending. It's not really a very "loud" service, except occasionally when the pipe organ is at full blast. That's something you'd more likely take issue with at my church. The people at my church are very friendly and welcoming of all people who want to join in.

I guess we have our fair share of hypocrites, too, but that's any church you go to. It's usually those blue-haired old ladies who don't think we should sing anything written after 1840.

As far as moving around, talking, expectations go, I find that the SBC churches are among the more reserved congregations. If you find one that has a choir and you enjoy singing, you could join the choir. That might minimize your contact with other people and help you get to know just a few other people without getting so overwhelmed. Music has always been a big part of my life, so it really helped being around people who had like interests. It felt "safe." You don't mind everyone else in the congregation looking at you because you're surrounded by an organized group, all of whom are doing basically the same thing. Since I play piano, I'm more in the spotlight than I used to be, but I'm only in the spotlight doing something I'm an expert at. I don't have to worry about people looking at me and judging me that way, and it's earned me a lot of friends who encourage me EVERY Sunday.


Avarice makes a good point with the earplugs. I think church by nature is a social experience in that a lot of people gather at church. Corporate worship is a strength-in-numbers kind of thing that you can't really have alone--like people who say they can worship by walking through a field of flowers or meditate in a dark room or something. While I, in my own way, do all those things, I find the solidarity of corporate worship to be refreshing. My church has also been doing a kind of "house church" on Sunday evenings, which is basically just a multimedia Bible study that encourage interaction across generation gaps. My wife and I have been the youngest in both groups we participated in, and personally I find that discouraging. I'm thinking about possibly using that time to visit other churches or put together my own Christian music act. The main thing, though, is that church services have an enlightening role. I think if a church overemphasizes the social function, it's not really doing its job.

My stepdad was a church-hopper. Every single one he took us to, he would find something wrong, confront the pastor, and then move on to the next. The church that my fiancee and I go to is pretty cool. It's not part of a denomination though, just a community church with baptist and pentecostal theology and a small congregation rather than being a megachurch. My stepdad's main complains for why this church is "evil" is that they use leavened bread for communion and there are couples which are living together without being married who attend (as opposed to being excommunicated, which is my stepdad's cure-all solution to interpersonal problems also.)

My view is this: all churches, and all human organizations in general, will have flaws. If you search for one without flaws, you will never end your search.

My mom was a church hopper too. It was a pain to say the least...

I really like the Missouri Synod Lutheran church. I have found them a lot quieter and easier to handle. At this point though I think I am open to most denominations. I do get really in to what the doctrine is. I have a great fascination of church history... but that's another book.

i love the "Mathew 6:6 Shut yourself up in a room alone and pray there." Made me smile... Thanks!

The concept of church disturbs me. Everyone singing and reciting bible verses in unison, I find it cult-like and down right creepy, not to mention eating a drinking some dead guy's flesh and blood.

If god is everywhere... why does it matter if people gather in a building? Pray from your home, or sing about him if you're really happy about god. Going to a building every Sunday to worship a god is not necessary, you can pray to him where ever and when ever you want.

I was horribly bullied in a "church" setting and as a result I am extremely wary of anyone who calls themself a "Christian". I never understood why I am supposed to dress up. My parents say I need to be uncomfortable to show God I love Him. But I feel so fake when I dress up. The last one I should feel fake for is God. If I feel closer to God when I am all alone out in the middle of the boondocks or woods, why must I go inside a manmade structure where I'm so uncomfortable I'm not worshipping at all because I'm using every fiber of my being to keep myself from screaming. If I can't get a tatoo, self mulitate or commit sucide because my body is a temple, why then do I need to go to church. Church is a concept invented by people, not God.

Now that you have progressed to the point that church makes no sense perhaps you should move on and reconsider God.

Sand, you are such a(n) [insert valid ad hominem here]. I mean, what the heck? You read about someone's bad experience and then you seek to convert them? If you aren't a missionary for antitheism I don't know what else you could be.

Church, in the New Testament, actually refers to those, the people, who accepted Jesus as the Messiah, or Christ. The concept of the Church being a building is theologically incorrect. The Church are the people who accept Christ as the atonement for their sins, the building is just a location where people who claim to be members of the Church assemble.

Convert? I merely asked somebody to think. You seem to find that offensive.

You should try thinking once in a while, Sand. For you, it may have been so long since you have that there may be pain, but it wont kill you, it may even help save you.

Oh yes, of course, the only way I can demonstrate intelligence to you is to reject God and become an atheist. Any display of intelligence as a Christian isn't intelligence according to you and your ilk, but merely sophistry and deception. Whereas accepting whatever is passed as science by otherwise academically bankrupt government educational institutions is considered intelligent. Right...