A Modest Proposal from Giftorcurse

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Let me get this off my chest...

Adoption. It's produced many, many great human beings. David Berkowitz, Joel Rifkin, Michael Bay, Aileen Wournos, Jeff Dunham and Snooki to name a few. It's taken me a very long time to realize this. What is truly shocking today is that, in this cynical world, adoption is no longer consider an option. Referral rates are at all-time lows, and abortions are up. So is gun violence, crime, political corruption, and the number of anuses working at McDonald's. Have we forgotten human goodness? Have we forgotten altruism, and raising children to realize they live in a black hole of a world from which no light can be found unless through hardship and pain?

Yes. We have.

Here's my proposal: give every single couple incapable of having children, for any reason whatsoever, a chance to adopt. Through this, and the overturning of Roe vs. Wade, American children can finally have a chance to achieve great things, such as mass murder, asinine reality show gigs and subpar comedy acts. The New American Generation will inspire the next to do even better than they did, and so on.

I know now what the "A" in adoption stands for... it is America!

P.S.: If you support abortion, you're supporting Cobra!

Last edited by Giftorcurse on 08 Mar 2013, 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Paging Mr. Swift.....

Does not compute...Does not compute...Does not compute...

If you want women to produce babies for adoption, then compensate women for making them.

You can't reasonably expect a women to endure gestation and childbirth, and then just give up the baby for free.

There are some women who will produce a baby with the idea of getting 18 years of child support payments. You could probably get enough babies to clear the market if you were to offer, say, $50,000 per baby born alive.

Should the compensation for each product be the same regardless of the quality of the product?

Would you want to pay $50,000 for a broken-down Yugo if the same amount will buy a decent BMW?

Whatever the market will bear.

I suspect that a healthy, blue-eyed blonde would fetch more than others.

For those who may miss the reference, "a modest proposal" is a famous satire piece by Jonathan Swift. After reading the OP three times, I'm not sure if the OP's point is dressed in satire or not.

Anyone who makes reference to Snooki and Michael Bay.....may be engaged in Satire.

You are correct, AgentPalpatine. This is very dark satire.

Basically, by giving unwanted kids up for adoption en masse to couples who really can't (or perhaps shouldn't) have children of their own, they can learn the hard way that life is unfair, and the only one you can depend on is yourself. That's why I listed Snooki, Michael Bay, a few serial killers, and a pathetic comedian as examples; they serve as examples of what adopted kids SHOULDN'T be: selfish, vile, and unappealing people.

So, Gifty ... just how many kids have you adopted, anyway?

I have my own church and private army stationed in the worst part of Africa.

But no, none in reality. I'm still nineteen.

Well, time to get started siring some, then.

Shouldn't everyone strive not to be that? Why the emphasis on adopted people?

That one was spared from becoming medical waste or a ward of the state does not give one the right to b***h about how life has not given them their due.

Right.

You do realize how little sense you're making, right?

What I'm trying to figure out is, are you asserting that adopted people are more likely to be, as you put it, "selfish, vile, and unappealing?" Or are you asserting that adopted people have more of an obligation than non-adopted people to not be those things? Or something else entirely?

I'm saying they should appreciate life more and not end up like the people I mentioned above. I was being satirical.

Shouldn't everyone appreciate life more?