Christians, what happened to "love your neighbor"?

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Understand where I'm coming from when I write this post. I am a Christian. I was raised in a Christian home, and as an adolescent I thought through the issues again and came to Christianity independantly. I am writing this in a (perhaps clumsy) attempt to "speak the truth in love". I am writing about these behaviors not because I have observed them from other people, but because I have personally exhibited these behaviors. These behaviors are basic errors in relating to people and living the message of Christ.

#1 is Generalizing. I often hear Christians, including myself, discuss human beings in very collective terms. For example, I was talking to a Christian friend about the Muslim community. She obviously had had little if any exposure to Muslims other than the very distorted view shown to her by the media. When I tried to explain some of the actual beliefs and practises in the Muslim world, she didn't seem to be able to process the information. She had only ever seen Muslims as a fanatic, hateful group of people. When I cited a Muslim family I knew through a pen-pal relationship who were basically good people, her response was, "Well, I'm sure there are some factions that are like that..."

At that point I gave it up as a lost cause, but I was thinking, "You really don't get it, do you? There isn't a giant, borg-like hive mind in Saudi Arabia called 'THE MUSLIMS'. There aren't even little hive minds of different factions." There are about 1.6 billion vastly different individuals. You cannot characterize any group, because it would be too daunting a task to personally know every single Muslim around the world. Unless you're on facebook.

#2 is Premature Judging. This is making assumptions about a person when you only know a handful of things about them. I'm going to make atheists an example this time.

Let's say we have two different individuals: a stubborn Christian who grew up with little exposure to other belief systems, but generally good experiences with Christianity enters a debate on creationism with a stubborn Atheist. They begin the debate with completely opposite points of view. While their viewpoints are very likely informed by logically conclusions, their behaviors will be very emotionally based. We'll say that they begin the debate calmly and reationally, but as each fails to get the other to concede the point, they become increasingly frustrated. The discussion devolves into a volley of insults on both sides. The Christian, fed up, says, "Why do you hate Christians so much, anyway?"

Turns out, the Atheist has a completely different background. He grew up in an abusive home, a dynamic which was exacerbated by the fact that he has high-functioning autism, which went undiagnosed until he was middle-aged. His interactions with Christianity have been almost universally negative. He was rejected at every church he went to because of his autism-induced behaviors. He has uncles who claimed to be Christians, but went around scamming people with "church revivals". Think Jonas Nightingale in "Leap of Faith".

When the Christian first meets the Atheist, he perceives his views as being attacked. The Christian instantly judges the Atheist as a jerk, without understanding the full story.



There are more things I want to mention on this post, but I am in a hurry. Ask me about it tomorrow and I will post my remaining comments.

i can't wait until you post some more. very informative. i imagine that american christians are not immune to the same selfish social darwinism meme that has corrupted much american culture, the "what's love got to do with it?" theme of rampant [randian] individualism, an atavistic tribalism run amok. god help us.

It seems like what you're describing is just typical human behavior. Yes Christians should not be just generalizing people and certainly shouldn't be judging people, but that's just normal human behavior and many "Christians" only adhere to the religion because they were raised with it. They haven't read a Bible, they rarely go to church and even if they did it's only for social reasons. Normal human behaviors whether they are despicable or not are just normal human behaviors.

A religion with rules you can't obey? Good heavens.

Not only are they not immune, they're even more susceptible to it. You just don't understand Christianity. In the town where I grew up everyone was Christian and voting Democrat made you a baby killing heathen. Also, the more devout the Christian, the more conservative the politics.

There's also the Calvinist "work ethic" idea where the "harder you work" the more it proves your Christian faith and demonstrates your status as being one of "God's elect" . Of course, naturally, the people who work the hardest are also the ones who make the most money. And on the contrary end, the people who make the least money are the laziest and most ungodly. This is a very basic tenet of the Calvinist faith that should never be questioned.

As a Christian I've seen so much behaviour like this... I've seen some terrible examples of people being judged, pigeonholed, condescended to, because "Christians" see the label, not the person. Particularly the whole "proof for God" argument with atheists... when people get increasingly self righteous and angry (on both sides.) The Christian in this instance should climb out of the sandbox, and start behaving as though they really believed in God. God doesn't need us to insult and antagonise people. I know it's human behaviour, but I hope this post inspires others to try a little harder to love a little more.

You make some good points here.

I want to add, and this cannot be stressed enough--Christians are people, too, and we are NOT perfect.

New converts who aren't very confident or mature in their faith are especially guilty of being excessively judgmental. But rather than responding in kind, we should rather embrace them in their faith and encourage them to be discerners of God's wisdom. Plainly speaking, the Bible DOES list specific things which we find controversial behavior as sin. There's no denying that, and no amount of sugar-coating the Bible can change that. We Christians ARE called to judge right from wrong, but we are also called to judge in the spirit and character of Jesus rather than passing down sentences in hatred and cruelty. All Christian believers, whether new or old in the faith, know that they are free from chains of all sin and are free to hold others accountable for the sins they commit. But an older believer is going to understand that correction comes in the spirit of love and kindness as reflected by Jesus Himself. An immature person can't see past the guilt of their former lives and can be quicker to speak inappropriately. We must encourage each other to speak in the spirit of love and truth, not guilt and blame.

By encouraging each other and helping each other live in the image of Christ, we can as the Body of Christ present ourselves as peaceful and kind rather than hateful. But just as we are to love others, we must also be loving and patient with our own. Don't be so quick to judge those Christians who don't yet understand how they should present themselves and approach others, especially unbelievers. None of us are perfect, and the journey to reaching perfection is a long one. Those "baby Christians" among us who are slow to think and quick to speak are still our brothers and sisters and belong in the kingdom of heaven. Be gentle, kind, and slow to judge just as you would be slow to judge others.

Completely agreed. I don't mean to suggest that these are uniquely Christian behaviors. At the same time, these behaviors become even more disturbing in people who supposedly follow a religion that requires them to not behave this way.

#3 is forgetting out own condition. Let me explain what I mean by that. In Genesis, God is recorded as saying, "... every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood" (Genesis 8:21). Paul of Tarsus, the guy who spread Christianity through the Roman Empire said, "So I find this law at work: when I want to do good, evil is right there with me." (Romans 7:21). Basically, people suck.

This time I'll use the treatment of homosexuals as an example of how this error may come into play. Many Christians look down on gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and so on, often because the Christian is acting according to the belief that homosexuality is a sin, and therefor the homosexual person is a sinner.

Backing up a little bit, I will give you my position on homosexuality. I am going to sound like I am going in one direction, and then I will take this into the opposite direction. I am highly sympathetic to the gay community. Many of these people grow up being mercilessly taunted for being always either too "boyish" or too "girly". Having been an aspie-like kid myself, it's not hard to relate to the experience of being left out. Often there is a missing, distant, or abusive parent, especially the father in the case of gay men. Maybe he or she is, literally, born this way. Maybe he had a stereotypically "female" talent, such as art or cooking. Whatever the cause or nature of homosexuality, I genuinely feel for the LGBT community.

However, as a Christian, my beliefs must be consistent with Biblical scripture, and the Bible is clear that homosexual behaviors are not appropriate. I can't get around that. So, Christians, how do you interact with someone you geniunely believe to be a "sinner"? I think it is to remember that different individuals are simply inclined toward different kinds of wrong behaviors. A person might be a sinner, but he or she isn't any worse in this area than I am.

It's pretty much considered to be something you are born with. It's also found in nature. So either sin affects animals, or homosexuality isn't a sin. Or the whole sin idea is just something to reconsider.

I am a Christian with a "mental disability" or as i would like to call it one step towards evolution
Now back on the topic
Not all Christians are stubborn and not all atheist are stubborn either
what i believe is that we should love everyone regardless of religion, race, status of human evolution
UNTIL when people start s****** on you that is when the love your neighbor replace by an eye for an eye if you back someone in a corner they will fight back
but anyways i respect other people who have different religions especially if they are one step towards human evolution because regardless of religion they are the people whom i can identify with and have quite similar lives with me

I have serious doubts that people are born homosexual. the condition seems much too common to be genetic.

Care to explain that reasoning?

Sin affects everything in the world. Back in Genesis, God gave man to have dominion over all the earth because they bear his image. So when Adam and Eve disobeyed God, and ate from the tree, sin passed down from man to earth because of Adam's dominance over it, and since Adam is the first example of all humanity, we have no choice but to fallow suit. That's why you also have natural disasters such as earthquakes happening around and most of it was not because of an act of God. God usually sends a prophet or someone to warn us ahead of time before he does something, and if we don't listen, he will have no choice but to execute his wrath. In Revelations, after Jesus defeats Satan permanently, he will restore the Earth and bring new life to it. Their will be no death, no natural disasters, and no "tears in people eyes" because God will create Earth without the effects of sin. It's true that we were all born to sin, but the wages of sin is death. God dosen't have to always punish us for our sins because sin is punishing itself. His real intent is to save us from that cycle so that we can have eternal life though his son Jesus. It's mainly our choice if we want to accept it or not.

Christians who say "love your neighbor" often mean "love them and accept their sin, treat it as if it were part of them and pretend God accepts their sin too". And when they start bringing out "judge not lest ye be judged", it's a clue that they may be wanting to "come out of the closet" without facing any rebukes. And then there's just guilt-tripping, perhaps done with better intentions although often enough it's pointed at only one side of any debate between Christians advocating against sin and Christians advocating in favor of sin.

About five percent of the male population. That is not "much too common" at all.

ruveyn