Who wants to worship Satan with me?

Post Reply New Topic

I worship Satan. The most powerful devil. But not really, because Satan does not actually exist. Satan is just mythology. So I can only worship my idea of Satan. In other words, worshipping Satan is an enjoyable fantasy for me. This is much the same as how worshipping God is an enjoyable fantasy for millions of people, but with the important difference that I acknowledge that it is just fantasy (I am not suffering from self-delusion, unlike the God worshippers).

My idea of Satan is at first glance similar to the Satan/Devil depicted by Christianity, but actually with substantial and fundamental differences. You see, the Christians conducted a smear campaign against Satan. Accused him of all sorts of things he never did. They made him look like the bad guy, when in reality Satan is the ethical and moral one, and God is the lunatic who burns non-believers to death.

They made Hell sound like it is a horrible place where people are sent as punishment, but in reality Heaven is the terrible place. Hell is where all the best people choose to go. Heaven is where the pedophiles are. When I die, I want to go to Hell. I will fight against any angel that tries to drag me into that perverted place called Heaven where everyone wears white and pretends to be moral.

I agree with the depiction of Hell as being a fiery place. I like fire! But the fire is NOT used to torture the occupants of Hell, no, it is used to keep them warm same as sitting in front of a beautiful log fire on a cold night. The fire of Hell is to be cherished.

The only time the fires of Hell are used to burn people is when the terrible angels from Heaven try to attack and invade Hell. Then, purely as a matter of self-defence, the fires of Hell are used to burn and repel the war-mongering angels who were trying to kill the devils. Note that the devils of Hell NEVER attack Heaven. The direction of attack is always the angels attacking Hell, and the devils valiantly defending themselves against the murderous angels.

The reason the devils of Hell never attack Heaven is because they have no interest in doing so. Once or twice the idea was mentioned as a retaliation against the angels continually attacking Hell, but everyone in Hell was very apathetic about the whole idea for various reasons, for example there being no objects of any real value in Heaven.

Also the attacks on Hell by the angels are mostly just a minor inconvenience, and while it is very irritating to be forced to endure these constant tiresome attacks, the weak and pathetic angels are easily repelled, and so there was not much motivation for doing something more energetic about it. There was considerable agreement that it would be nice to permanently stop the angels from attacking Hell, but as Satan himself said, "These angels from Heaven are like mosquitoes. They annoy me but are so puny and irrelevant in the whole scheme of things that I just cannot be bothered going to all that effort to eradicate them."

The typical attack begins with at least 10,000 angels lining up outside Hell, all dressed in white, ready for battle. Eventually a devil sentry in Hell notices this, and... no, he does not raise the alarm, that would be such a cliche! No alarms, he merely rouses a couple of his buddies, and then the 3 of them prepare to defend against the 10,000 insane angels. The 3 devils play poker while God delivers a 2 hour sermon which incites the angels into a wild killing frenzy.

Eventually the angels attack, firing white arrows which bounce off the black rock walls of Hell. Noticing the attack, the 3 devils pick themselves up off their beanbags next to the cosy fire, and mosey on over to the volcano controls. These 3 devils are old hands and so they have done this routine 100 times already, and so it comes as no surprise to them to see the 10,000 attacking angels be engulfed by the fire and brimstone of the volcano within a matter of minutes. The attack is thwarted, Hell is saved, and the 3 devils return to their game of poker by the fire. "Marshmallows?", one of them offers his buddies.

After 8 more attacks on Hell that end similarly to that one, one of the devils finally manages to remember to mention the attacks to Satan over a cup of tea. Satan just shakes his head and says, "Tut tut tut, when will God ever learn?", and then proceeds to talk about more interesting matters such as the latest in fashion horns.

So tell me, fellow Satan worshippers, what is your idea of Satan? What is Satan and Hell like for you? Everyone can have a different idea because it is just a fantasy, as is God. So tell me your Satan and Hell fantasies. It is OK if they are different to mine: I do not seek to burn people to death just for thinking differently to me.

yes, i'm in, lets worship satan! always fancied it, really, just haven't met the right people yet.

i'm interested in the ideas of the cathars, the bogomils and various other religious sects. they basically believed that yahweh, the god of christian and judeans, was a lesser deity than the divine, in effect satan, or the demiurge, since he/she/it created this flawed physical realm that we exist in, and trapped the divine spark in the corruption that is gross matter. in effect, reality was hell to them. not that i'm particularly religious, i just sometimes like siding with the underdog. unfortunately, the cathars, who were quite a big concern in their time, particularly in southern france, were wiped out by the catholics for their heretic beliefs.

There's a real church of Satan in San Fransisco. They're a bunch of athiests who hate christianity and worship satan to mock it. I like your depictions of hell though emp.

I especially like the part that hell never attacks heaven. Kind of like no Satan worshiper has ever come to me and asked me for my soul. The christians have.... REPEATEDLY!! !! !! !! !! !!

Satanists hold little regard for all gods and their followers. Satanism is essentially a belief system that maintains that the practitioners of that belief system are entirely responsible for their own actions, and outcomes of those actions. In a sense, Satanists are "Gods unto themselves".

Let's give satan a noogie.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=noogie

Dude, all you did was just change the names God and Satan just to anger religious people. Besides, what does it matter whether or not if they are deluding themselves. Delusional(read religious) people live longer, studies have even shown that. I mean, if I thought you were serious on your belief in Satan or even were talking in a more joking manner(an effect which was ruined by this comment "I am not suffering from self-delusion, unlike the God worshippers") I would respect that but really I tend to just think this is just some idiocy to attempt to mildly insult some dude's religion.

Anyway, I do think that you have every right to believe what you want to. If there is a God and he did not agree with your thoughts then yes you would burn in hell for thinking differently. That is only because spiritual authority punishes spiritual crimes like physical authority punishes physical crimes. Sorry, just trying to address this comment "I do not seek to burn people to death just for thinking differently to me." because I don't think that there is much of that going on outside of deprived areas and they would kill people for other people without religion anyway. I honestly think that religion is not the source of these wrongs of intolerance necessarily but rather just something that is used as an excuse for intolerance just like race has been used to arbitrarily seperate people and like other ideologies have attacked their opposing beliefs in the past like the red scare before and during the cold war. It can be noted that people who are intrinsically motivated to be religious actually score lower on prejudice and anxiety than those that don't and they feel a greater sense of control over their lives and have a clearer sense of purpose than those who have extrinsic motivations. I take this to mean that the people who are religious for nonreligious reasons are the big problem with religion, like the nobles who would join the catholic church in the middle ages for more earthly power and who probably led to massive corruption of the church at the time. Yes, currently there are many idiotic individuals out there spouting out arrogant, stupid nonsense and that are Christians but you get that in any group.

One word of advice, if anyone talks about abortion being wrong you can just mention that it reduces crime according to economists.

It's the supernatural battle of the pscho-spheric abstracts before my very eyes!

God's war against Hell was not going well at all. He watched in horror as his army of 10,000 angels (recruited from the people who had died and entered Heaven last week) were engulfed in the defensive fire and brimstone of Hell before they could do any real damage to Hell. Even as his angels were having their white clothing burnt off, he yelled at them, "FIGHT YOU COWARDS! FIGHT!! KILL SATAN!! KILL HIM FOR THE GLORY OF YOUR IMPOTENT GOD!! OMNIPOTENT!! I meant omnipotent!! ! I am OMNIPOTENT!!" Then to cover his gaffe, he started shouting like a cheerleader, "KILL KILL KILL!! K-I-L-L!"

Unfortunately for God, his shouts had no effect, and yet again his attack against Hell had failed. Despite the fact that he had seen this happen hundreds of times before, he was no less enraged. His face became so red with blood that he almost looked like Satan, and with his eyes flashing murderous intent, he started shouting in a rabid rage, splattering spittle everywhere. Yelling in his booming thunderous voice, God screamed out, "YOU F***ING BAS***D!! !! I'LL KILL THOU!! I'LL F***ING KILL THOU!! ! HOW DARE YOU! YOU CRETIN! YOU MONGREL!! YOU AFFRONT TO MY SUPREME GREATNESS!! !! I'LL F***ING SMASH YOUR BABIES HEADS AGAINST THINE ROCKS!! ! THEN I'LL EAT THEM!! F***HEAD! F***ING D*CKF***ER!! F*** YOU SATAN!! YOU F***ER!! F***! F***ING HELL!! !"

While God screamed in an absolute holy fury, stamping his feet on the ground, the 3 devils peered out of the thick glass window of the fortified part of Hell they occupied.

The devil who had first noticed the attack, Albert, commented, "Hmmm, it looks like God is saying something to us. Look, his lips are moving and he is looking in our direction."

Thomas, who had invented electric lights back in his day on Earth, replied, "Yeah... yeah I think you're right. Someday I'll get around to having the external microphone fixed so we can hear what is being said outside."

Mark, who had been an author, was surprised. "What?! Is it STILL broken?! Has gotta be at least 5 years since that crazy angel charged and impaled himself on the microphone. You telling me no-one fixed it yet?"

"Yup, still broken. How about you fix it?", Thomas said.

"Me? Oh, uh, I gotta go to my yoga class, oh will you look at the time, I'm late again, gotta run, seeyaz!" Mark scuttled out of the room.

"Toodeloo!", Albert called out after him, waving with a waggle of his fingers.

Mark had only been scuttling down the corridor for a few moments when Satan himself rounded a corner causing Mark to bump into him.

"Jesus Christ!!", Satan exclaimed, but not because of Mark running into him, he had barely noticed that. Satan was actually exclaiming at the catalog he held open in front of him. Noticing Mark, he showed Mark the catalog. "Will you look at this?!", Satan said, still surprised. "Look at the latest horns from Satan's Secret! Have you ever seen horns so sexy? I simply MUST have them!"

"Sweet Damnation!", Mark exclaimed as he saw what Satan was looking at. "I thought you were exaggerating. Those really are sexy horns."

At this moment, one of Satan's assistants was passing them. Noticing this, Satan gave him a task, "You there! Get me 6 pairs of these horns, pronto!", and he shoved the catalog into the hands of the assistant and jostled the assistant on his way. As the assistant scurried away, Satan called out after him, "And get some for yourself too, on me!"

While I wouldn't ever go that far, I am somewhat interested in Satan in a literary sense.

In one of my short stories used as the foundation of the character, I portrayed him as a prisoner of hell (much like in christianity), immensely beautiful (also in line with the story presented in christianity, at least prior to the fall), fully in acknowledgement of his original sin (the vanity that caused his desire to replace God, causing his banishment. Again, in line with the christian folklore). Unlike the bible, in this story, Satan has no capacity to affect the world of the living.

Where it mainly differs is his ideas and experiences afterward, as well as a redefinition of punishment: Instead of a final judgment, "sinners" were cast down to hell in real-time. Satan spent most of his earthly existence speaking to these people, their moral beliefs, what they had been judged for, their contribution to humanity (even if the net-result was negative), their motivations, and finally, possibility for redemption.

His conclusion is that no one is truly evil. This, coupled by the sheer numbers being cast down (even many that humanity would judge as "good"), fuels the biblical quest against god. He believes that it is a failure of judgment, for so many good people have already been condemned, and seeks not to rule, but rather to end their torment. But to gain allies, they must be willing.

The story begins late in the cycle, with two newly-condemned people (one is explicitly new, while the other is implied to have been there some time). Early on, the true nature of man's problems is revealed: Condemnation of self.

Of the two human characters, one is an admitted atheist, and at one point in his life, killed a man in cold blood. He was mortified by this action, and spent the remainder of his days in an unspoken torment within his own mind (fueled by regret), yet strived to live by a strict moral code, and attempted to find meaning through his own morality. He is fully accepting of his condemnation, as he feels it is a just punishment for the life he took.

The other was a devout Christian. His personal torment began after the condemnation: He does not know why he is there.

After Satan appears to them, he gives them both enlightenment on why they are there: they are in hell as atheists. The christian was condemned for a weakness in his faith. For the atheist, he was content with his condemnation as a killer, but found justification in his life through his moral code built afterward, and as such, did not need religion.

The devil sought for both to admit the injustice. The atheist could not bring himself to terms with his actions, and the christian remained soul-searching within himself.

Neither would admit the injustice by the story's end.



How much of it is likely to be true?
None of it, but it sure makes a lot more of a compelling story than "Satan is really evil and wants nothing but for people to do evil"

And then the supernatural force of SC in all his textual supernatural powers took satans (the devils) over sized fork and poked him in de bum. Satan started crying like a baby and he tripped over his tail turning around to run away from the pokings of de bum SC was inflicting.

Then all the disillusioned people lived happily ever after becuase satan was just a character in a book representing an archetype.

While I would never consider myself a satanist (especially because it implies immoral and deviant behaviour), I consider myself an altruistic hedonist, one who considers pleasure and happiness the ultimate principles, but for all, and not at the expense of others. I'm also agnostic.

Now! We're getting serious! I'm not a satanist myself, but I have dabbled in some occultic elements throughout my life. I've also expressed some interest in the works of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.

Ever heard of Anton LaVey? He started the Church of Satan.

Ever heard of the Temple of Set?

Ever studied the concepts of the Left Hand Path? Years ago, children used to get their hands smacked in school by piggish teachers who couldn't stand to see kids write with their left hands, because it was thought to be a sign of evil.

- Ray M -