Are ministers only religious storytellers?

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Are Christian ministers really only non-profit religious stage actors who are paid to retell old stories from the Bible? Are Christian ministers only variations of stage actors, opera actors, actors from Tinseltown/Hollywood/Bollywood who simply stick to scripts based on the theatrical book known as the Bible (because they've figured out they can make more money from Bible stories than reciting the Iliad and Odyssey - the ~ Bible of the Greeks)?

'Only' is taking it a bit light. Humans love stories. They are very important (essential?) to us. If you don't like the stories of one church, then you can change; there's plenty of other religious stories, and plenty of secular/scientific stories. Or make up your own.

In 'religions' where there is still a mystical or gnostic element, there would be less emphasis on dogmatic story telling, and more on the practices that enable direct experience of 'god'. A zen priest for example, is nothing like your average protestant minister.

In my experience, that's what most of them are, just story tellers. And often times, sadly enough story embellishers. Clearly from any point of Theology the goal is to obtain some form of Salvation, preferably an Eternal Salvation. Jesus Christ is the Savior of this world we occupy, and is the only way to obtain this Salvation. A lot of these storytellers actually detract from the ultimate goal, keeping people in darkness and confusion. Helping them to feel they have no need to search for truth and salvation because they are hearing stories from a priest, and after all isn't the priest the one who represents God? The truth is God calls prophets, read the scriptures, He does it every time. Christ Himself said to his disciples "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you." He made it clear that their calling was not taken upon themselves. It's the same today, God chooses his representatives, and not the other way around. But then I suppose you can always become a story teller if that's really what you want to do.

Is pgd only a source of smirkingly insincere rhetorical questions that betray either an almost inconceivable naivete or a love of making the other kiddies in the class laugh?

I would not mind so much - better "Is there something fishy about Christianity?" and "Do Christians actually eat human flesh in their meetings?" than Sand.

But it clutters up the space so, and it would be so much more fun to have a real debate on which is less palatable, a fundamentalist theocracy or totalitarian atheism - BOTH of which are at least real.

Do not discount the power of stories to provide guidance in our daily lives.

Are the fables of Aesop's any less valuable as instructional allegories because they are fictions? Even if you do not believe in either the divine or the historical Christ, the stories can serve to allow people to make choices about their own actions.

And Christians sacrifice children at their orgiastic love feasts, and Jews eat Christian children at the Passover.

I knew it!

but how to make kosher a child?

NVM, answered my own question.

not to forget, or neglect, every Muslim has a harem full of Circassian slaves guarded by castrati.

That is a LOT of Circassians. Not enough to go around even if you allow Chechens as ersatz.

There be power in words...

Whats "only" about being a story teller?
Storytelling is a fine art.

Preachers are usually more religous lecterers than story tellers.
Story telling would be a step up in most cases.

So I dont know what the issue is that you're raising.

"So I dont know what the issue is that you're raising."

Check out past performance. Issue is usually not the best description.