I Keep Trying....

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Joined: 13 Feb 2005
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,126
Location: On The Road...Somewhere

12 Jan 2011, 11:37 am

I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from You
I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do

What's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

I wanna be in the Light
As You are in the Light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the Light
All I want is to be in the Light

The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hinMYrcCMHc&feature=related[/youtube]

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I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future.

Last edited by thechadmaster on 12 Jan 2011, 11:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

ruveyn
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12 Jan 2011, 11:47 am

thechadmaster wrote:

Poor fellow. You are trying to deny your own human nature. You will not succeed as long as you are alive. Instead, use your ego drive for Good. It can be done.

ruveyn

thechadmaster
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12 Jan 2011, 11:50 am

ruveyn wrote:

Poor fellow. You are trying to deny your own human nature. You will not succeed as long as you are alive. Instead, use your ego drive for Good. It can be done.

ruveyn

only by denying myself and my own will, can i truly experience life. It can be done its just really.....really.....really....difficult.

The day that im not ashamed of myself and my actions, is the day i stop living.

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I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future.

ruveyn
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12 Jan 2011, 1:46 pm

thechadmaster wrote:

ruveyn wrote:

Poor fellow. You are trying to deny your own human nature. You will not succeed as long as you are alive. Instead, use your ego drive for Good. It can be done.

ruveyn

What can I say? It sucks to be you.

ruveyn

leejosepho
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12 Jan 2011, 1:54 pm

ruveyn wrote:

... use your ego drive for Good. It can be done.

thechadmaster wrote:

only by denying myself and my own will, can i truly experience life. It can be done ...

The day that im not ashamed of myself and my actions, is the day i stop living.

Whew. We need some perspective here, and it is good to be at least a bit suspicious of this:

Quote:

Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior.

What are you hearing there when you think of "Savior"?

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My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
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ryan93
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13 Jan 2011, 8:58 am

I have to admit songs like that freak me out, they seem so...cultish

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auntblabby
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13 Jan 2011, 1:53 pm

to the OP- your dark night of the soul means you are on the right [upwards] spiritual track. but when one thinks one is doing well, then that one has stopped thinking.

Malisha
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13 Jan 2011, 3:17 pm

From The Tempest by William Shakespeare:

Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
And what strength I have's mine own,
Which is most faint: now, 'tis true,
I must be here confined by you,
Or sent to Naples. Let me not,
Since I have my dukedom got
And pardon'd the deceiver, dwell
In this bare island by your spell;
But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails,
Which was to please. Now I want
Spirits to enforce, art to enchant,
And my ending is despair,
Unless I be relieved by prayer,
Which pierces so that it assaults
Mercy itself and frees all faults.
As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free .

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HPBLI7Z5Pg[/youtube]

*** "want" = "lack"

thechadmaster
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13 Jan 2011, 4:42 pm

auntblabby wrote:

to the OP- your dark night of the soul means you are on the right [upwards] spiritual track. but when one thinks one is doing well, then that one has stopped thinking.

You got it! if im "thinking im doing good" then i have "self esteem" which is just another name for pridefulness. By constantly considering my own faults, and constantly critiquing my thoughts and actions, i realize the gravity of my failings, and how im in need of Jesus.

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j0sh
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13 Jan 2011, 4:56 pm

thechadmaster wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

to the OP- your dark night of the soul means you are on the right [upwards] spiritual track. but when one thinks one is doing well, then that one has stopped thinking.

I think that's a good way to look at things. Whenever we think we have it all figured out; we are humbled and shown how little we actually know. Whenever we think we are righteous; we are reminded of how human (flawed) we actually are.

These lessons can be learned by just carefully examining our lives and the moments that shaped us. I good source of light definitely assists in correctly viewing these things from a unbiased perspective, though.

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