anyone noticed this about groups that hate each other

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The closer the group is to each other the more they hate each other. For example the Abramic religions hate each other the most because they are similar but a bit different, then Christians Catholic and Protestant mistrust each other more, then different denominations of protestant feel worse about each other, then two Evangelical churches who have a minor difference in theology mistrust each other the most. And then people disagreeing in the same church feel most uncomfortable about each other. Much more than they do about completely different religions like Hindus. It's the same in political parties when a socialist party splits into 2 over a disagreement they dislike each other much more than the right-wing parties they were against before. I think it's because you want people who "should be like you" to be perfect and how you want them to be. It's ok for people who are very different, because you expect that, but when somebody who "should be on your side" diverges in some way, that is the worst. Instead of the people who are lots different, you obsess over the divergence in the person you wanted to relate to and wanted on your side. There's just something much more disturbing about someone who is a lot like you but different in one fundamental way.

Judeo-Christian and Shinto societies had some of the biggest differences ever and they were nowhere near close.

and Kancho (double finger butt poking)

Kancho or CHEOTO (カンチョー kanchō?)[1] is a prank often played in Japan; it is performed by clasping the hands together so the index fingers are pointing out and attempting to insert them sharply into someone's anal region when the victim is not looking.[2][3] It is similar to the wedgie or a goosing, although, as compared to kancho, the former mentioned acts do not involve physical contact which is quite as intimate or direct. A Kancho is often executed simultaneously as the offending party loudly emphasizes the second syllable of "Kan-CHO!".

Cease and desist this instant, Sir!

yeah, when I was a kid and was nervous of non Christians, I was much more freaked out by Christians who were different (like Catholic, Jehova Witness, Mormon) than really different religions, it freaked me out that they were so similar but a bit "wrong" with what I was used to. It even freaked me out that Muslims respected Jesus but did not believe he died.