God's Recall Notice

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My aunt Paula shared this with us at the last reunion. It was so funny, I just had to pass it along. I put it here because it seemed to fit more than anywhere else.

IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!! The Maker of all human beings, is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality", or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish, or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, JESUS will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice!! !

Thank you for your immediate attention.
ALL MY LOVE ~ GOD

Cute, but I suspect the atheists are about to eat you alive.

I'm tired of avoiding this site because of the huge amount of atheists on it. God wants me to be fearless in expressing my faith, so I consider this good practice. So, sorry atheists, I'm Christian and you won't change me.

You're proselytizing. Clearly you want to change others' beliefs. The kind of religious discussion had in this forum is generally more theological/philosophical discussion than point-blank prosyltization.

God did do a recall- forcibly took back all models to the plant and had them all destroyed but a chosen few in the Noah's Ark story.

So he's doing it again?

Why cant this God guy get it right the first time when he makes a product?

Well said

Who is trying to change you? Who even gives a damn what you believe or don't believe?

All beliefs are equally true, equally false and equally useful.

Doxa is not Logos. And the Word is not the Thing.

ruveyn

The issue there would be the matter of forsaking assembly to avoid being troubled.


True.

WHERE STANDS IT WRITTEN?

One cute piece comedy, one admission of Christianity.

If I say I am a Linguist and tell you the story about Kenneth Pike and the scorpion, is THAT proselytizing?

In any case, well over half the "religious" discussion here is middle school atheists dissing theism - not even proselytizing, just dumping pain on the other team's mascot.

Well said ... and such is the overall playground dynamic on windier days.

Edit: To wit (see next post):

Last edited by leejosepho on 04 Jun 2011, 11:20 am, edited 2 times in total.

The elephant in the room being that God just royally screwed the pooch here. For a product like this to have gone to market with such critical flaws is inexcusable and shows gross negligence or reprehensible incompetence. I hope for his sake that he has insurance.

done and done.
no one has to to say another unkind word.

No need to change you, unless you consider faith to be sufficient proof for your claims, and then ... you may have a problem.

Didn't you get the memo? It said that all Christians everywhere are under constant attack by evil, that anyone who disagrees with a Christian is evil, and that evil targets Christians everywhere and all of the time.

I think it was printed on a circular piece of paper ...

ruveyn:

"All beliefs are equally true, equally false and equally useful. "

There is the vigorous assertion of a false belief.

Beliefs are mental states. The adjectives true, false and useful simply do not apply. Beliefs are vapor ware as opposed to facts and true assertions.

ruveyn