A. An oldy but goody:
" There is a story of an old-fashioned minister who preached a sermon against women "doing up" their hair, taking as his text, "Topknot come down." When one of his hearers indignantly insisted that there was no such text in the Bible, the defender of the faith triumphantly pointed to the verse in Matthew which reads, "Let him which is on the housetop not come down."
B. One more time:
"The owner of an old-fashioned corner grocery store in a small country town was fond of quoting a passage of Scripture after each sale. He had three old friends that would sit around a pot-bellied stove, playing checkers on a faded board. His ability to produce a Scripture for all occasions never ceased to amuse the old timers, and they would listen to see what verse he would come up with that was relevant to the sale made.
A lady purchased some material and he said, “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.” A man bought a bag of flour and he said, “Man does not live by bread alone, but every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” A little boy bought some lollies and as he rung it up he quoted, “Suffer the little children to come unto me.”
It was nearly closing time when the chimes over the door jangled loudly. A well dressed young man, obviously a stranger from one of the larger towns down the road, entered. “Can I help you?” offered the proprietor.
“I need a blanket for my horse,” said the man. “He’s out in his trailer and it’s too cold for just one. Bring me the nicest one you’ve got!” The store owner went in the back store room and came back with a brown blanket. “That’ll be five dollars.”
“Five dollars? You’ve got to be kidding!”, said the man. “This horse is a thoroughbred. He gets only the best! He wouldn’t stand still for an old five-dollar blanket.” Without comment, the store owner took back the blanket, then merely selected a different colour and brought it out. “This one’s $25 dollars.”
“Now, look,” said the young man, “Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear. This isn’t just any old horse! He’s worth thousands! Now I want the best, most expensive blanket you’ve got! Understand?” The owner once more went into the store room, pulled out another colour of the same material and brought it back. “This is the only one left, and it’s $100 dollars.” “Now that’s more like it!” enthused the young man as he paid. Then, throwing the five dollar blanket over his shoulder, he left.
The old timers stared silently at the shopkeeper as they waited to see what possible Scripture he could come up with for that sale! Going behind the register, he rung up the hundred dollars and said, “He was a stranger, and I took him in.”
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A liberal education is so useful. I suspect may people these days would never get to hear these classics.
27 Jul 2011, 11:48 am
