Child abuse and the vilification of men.

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Another educational video from our comrades at manwomanmyth.com.

Again it's a touchy topic, probably worse than the rape series. Feminist blogs love using the tag "Trigger Warning". If ever I were to, it would be here.

Mentioned is the potential prevalence sexual abuse of children by women, aforementioned media bias in those cases, the male=predator stereotype and the surrounding "paedohysteria". As well as baby murder, the _endless_ array of excuses and lenient punishments given, when it is (and it mostly is) committed by women.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biLsTmmmZYs[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-e93DdrvY4[/youtube]

Disturbing topic. I thought it would of gotten lots of replies by now but it appears as though people are starting to ignore your threads.

Mmm. I wasn't expecting many replies from women, but I expected a few men to chime in and talk about the near universal fear we all share of interacting with children we do not personally know. Ever since I heard about the story below I have been on the lookout, to hell with the accusations.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7475814.stm

I had a male teacher when I was in primary school. Although, even here in South Africa, you don't get them anymore.

I'm sure I'd comment if I could view the videos - I can't due to poor internet connection and a laptop about to give up.
I'm opting now for a 'cold response' with no knowledge of the videos or past discussions, but as I like the sound of my own typing...

I'm not happy, no not at all happy, about seeing more female abusers within child abuse cases...because you can never be happy about child abuse cases, BUT something about seeing this does please me because it goes a little towards combating the idea of 'men = abusers', which is ultimately better for everyone.

With that said however, it's similar to murder cases involving female offenders...there's always the idea that men drove them to it, either directly (e.g. Paedophile ring with man at the centre playing women against each other to get them to abuse kids) or indirectly (e.g. the woman's father/uncle/husband raped her as a child). It's a little interesting that if a woman is accused of murder and the blame is placed on a partner for coercing her so punishment is softer, but with child sex abuse cases even if the blame is put on men the idea of a woman doing this sort of crime (whether the shock comes from it not being a man, or her being a being capable of mothering) seems to lead to us demanding a harder punishment...as for a WOMAN to do such a thing, she must be more evil than a man in the same situation.

It'll of course be a while before our minds are not hard-wired to seeing an image of a man with a young child and not thinking 'possible abuser' on some level, but I think we'll see changes here before we see changes to the idea that men rape women and women cannot rape or otherwise sexually abuse men. It's a hierarchy; children are the ultimate victims, women are the victims, men are abusers.

Shame, my best friend would LOVE to work with children, but he was told outright from a very young age not to even bother because no one would want to hire a male teacher or nursery worker. It's sad.

But again...no idea what this conversation is about, so perhaps I should shoosh.

There were some male teachers in my elementary school and they were good teachers. Some of them have only recently retired. That was the 80's, fwiw.

I agree that it's almost as though a man has to have a woman standing next to him to approach any gender of child for any reason if it isn't abundantly obvious that they are related.

I have a weekly breakfast ritual where join a few of my friends at a deli on Thursdays. One of my friends has two kids, and for a few years they both attended school at the same time in the morning, so he would bring them along and go over the previous night's homework with them over breakfast.

Because of this, I know his kids pretty well. I had breakfast with them once a week for a few years.

The younger one, at the time, was attending the elementary school up the road from my house - which is also the polling place for all elections in my district.

I got a lot of weird looks when i went to vote one tuesday morning, saw him, waved, and said hello. This was made worse by the fact that i was unaware that his mother always liked his middle name better, and registered him at school under his middle name.

So i was calling him by the wrong name, and he gave me a frustrated look for it, because it's not his fault that his parents can't even agree on his damn name.

I don't really speak to his mother, since she's putting my friend through an acrimonious divorce. For years now.

Doesn't help that I'm "that single guy who lives in the run-down house and doesn't go to church" either. So there i am, an adult in an elementary school, trying to get the attention of a child i am clearly no relation to, who gives me a "WTF?" look when i use the wrong name.

I am, however, good with kids. So it's the world's loss that i must abdicate responsibility for helping lost children, for example.

I didn't watch all of the video but I got the gist of it. It's familiar turf and one of the things that aggravates me.
We've (men) allowed ourselves to be vilified by attempting to be apologetic for being men. The women point out our weaknesses (which in reality are strengths) and we make light of it and sheepishly agree to do better, just in the name of fair play and the need for sex.
Our sense of fair play has been used against us.
I could go on and on but in short it's lead to the emasculation and subjugation of men by the weaker sex and we do nothing but shrug and take it.
We collectively have only ourselves to blame.

Very very touchy, sad and taboo subject - yet it is important to realize that gender is not important in a case of child abuse.

While I think that it's great that there is some awareness being made about the fact that women are also capable of horrible acts like men do, I would have liked to see more about how to watch for the signs of abuse in a child and what we can do to help that child.

But what these 2 videos really show is the sate of our society, of our minds and how horribly conditioned we are by the media, movies and stereotypes. How sad to think that a man who sees a toddler alone on the street is too afraid to stop to ask the child where he lives, and ends up doing nothing, and the child drowns itself in a nearby pool... how twisted our society has become for the man fearing more of his reputation than to stop help the child. Yet, sadly, most people would understand him but not change their reaction when they see a man with a child and they don't seem related.

If only we were able to be more at peace, to take the time to understand ourselves, to comprehend our drives, impulses (I'm not even talking about sexual stuff here) then we would be better people, and a better society.

I really strongly feel that change within is the answer - and as society is made up of individuals, that is the only way we can change society.

Be the change you wish to see in the world - famous quote by Gandhi

Yawn. Really.

No time to watch the videos, really. If you want more access get articles.

Are there feminists claiming that child abuse is a male thing? Really? I highly doubt that. Regardless of the paranoia of some posters I don't think there is a world wide conspiracy to 'vilify' men.

Yes, women hit kids too. I think it is a strawman to claim that the feminists are claiming otherwise.

No but they do claim that peadophilia is predominantly a male thing or at least there is a general perception that it is predominantly a male thing but that is in fact untrue. Yes, there is a general stereotype that abusers are men.

The author puts a great deal of blame on the NSPCC, while I agree they are encouraging these stereotypes and rolling in the money because of it, I think the problem goes much deeper. Snips, snails and puppy dog tails

Another good Samaritan facing charges here. Not sure if he got off in the end. A 14 year old too...

http://www.cfcamerica.org/news/teens/18 ... ore-or-not

It kinda touches on it, there isn't an awful lot you can do to spot it without Orwellian style surveillance of every family. When the police do find a child in need of help, stupid human rights laws make it very difficult to remove the child from its mother (father of course is no problem), even if she's a drug addicted schizophrenic mess.

Should be no surprise I agree with the author that encouraging the nuclear family and ensuring fathers aren't kept away from their children (default paternal custody?) is probably the best way to protect kids.

Do they?
Okay so many stereotype males as abusers, even those who claim not to are blinkered to the fact that more often than not feminism as a whole tends to be very sexist [men = abusers / women = victims] which does no one any good, this is exactly why I'm an anti-feminist...BUT...not all feminists do this, when it comes to child sex abuse victims they do tend to differentiate between this and adult abuse.

First of all, I want to clarify that I don't believe that anyone should be anti-feminist because I think that feminism has been absolutely essential to addressing gender equality and women's issues. I also agree that not all feminists equate men with abusers only and women with victims only. I was actually referring to the radical feminists.

Now, on to the abuse issue. The fact remains that peadophiles are most generally portrayed in media as well as being thought by the almost everyone as being predominantly men. This has even led to some discrimination against men. For example, the airline British Airways has had this policy that they will only allow women, and not allow any man, to sit next to unaccompanied minors on any of their flights. They justified this policy by saying that they believed that peadophiles are statistically more likely to be men than women. British Airways have recently changed this policy after they were sued by a few men who said that they were made to feel like criminals when air hostesses asked them to swap seats with their wives and girlfriend because an an unaccompanied minor was sitting in the seat in front or next to them.

BA changed the policy to keep all adults away from children, as if all adults of both sexes were paedophiles.

And this is a state airline. Apparently it's the policy of the UK state that all adults are paedophiles until proven innocent.

Boycott the UK.

I didn't know that, I assumed when they'd accepted the man's complaint they just reverted the policy and allowed men to sit next to children on flights. Christ they're stupid sometimes... missed the real point completely.

This is a very tough subject. I've tried a couple of times on a mom site, and was basically told that women are a lot less likely to abuse children in this way. Basically, that I was wrong. I let slip once that a male babysits my kids, and was told I was being careless and that I deserve for my children to be taken from me for it.

I mean, really?

I hesitate to bring this subject up or chime in anymore... in any context.