taking life so seriously

Post Reply New Topic

If I was asked whether I took life seriously, I would answer 'yes'. And what I would mean is that it feels serious, feels heavy, important, there is anxiety there.

I've heard it said: 'don't take life too/so seriously.' I've never paid much attention to that advice before because I figure that I just take it as I find it, I can't suddenly just become less serious about things because someone has advised it.

But I was thinking about this today and I kind of realised for myself why I wouldn't take life so seriously. I thought of dying and how that is unavoidable whether it be at the end of life through failing bodily health or through some accident or disaster. It just kind of struck me that I could be exposed to great physical suffering and then die, sooner or later, and I felt like I didn't have to take life so seriously. I mean, that would be serious, anything other than that doesn't matter so much.

I'm not expressing this too well. Trying to put my finger on it. How do you feel about it?

"Don't take life seriously - no one gets out alive anyway."

That's pretty much my philosophy. I also remember that there's always new things to do and new opportunities to take.

This is one subject that can get my brain spinning in several directions at once after I think about it for a while!

I take life seriously in the "we must work to eat" kind of sense, but over the years I have learned to not take *myself* so seriously as in the past -- a matter of ego -- while then still believing I could "make things happen", so to speak, either for myself or for anyone else. So while life often does "feel serious, feel heavy, important" and with some anxiety, I do try to carry its burdens lightly while/by accepting the fact we are all vulnerable to its challenges and need each other in order to survive at all.

I would say the same about not wanting death to be horribly painful in the physical sense, but now that I am much closer to it than to my birth, I am also very aware of not wanting to go to my grave in any kind of mental anguish ...

... and I do not say that in any kind of religious context. Rather, I just mean I do still take life and myself seriously enough to want to try to leave some good memories with others still living when life as I know it ultimately ends.

I take serious things in fun, and I take my fun seriously.

I take life seriously up to the point where it becomes unhealthy for a person to carry on, but not beyond that point. You got to be somewhat serious about what you do because you have to set the stage for those that have not came into this life yet, don't merely say, "Don't take life seriously".

If you look at it as,"we live then we die", you will not find a satisfactory answer out of that. If that is what you're preoccupied with, then I suggest you think of something else.

How Wildean.

You sound like good people.

Unfortunately my partner takes serious things seriously and takes his fun seriously, too. It's all a little too serious.

I could see people that have a cushy life say that. If you did have a cushy life, that would be a good outlook!

The outlook comes first. What we consider serious often isn't, and becomes a lot more bearable when we lighten it up. And what we take more care over what we like to do, we deepen our interests. Dropping something fun when it starts to involve work means you never stick with that musical instrument, art course, novel, etc. Instead you flit from one thing to another and never settle.

Of course, this means you need to make sure you take your serious fun not too seriously. And you should be serious about the fun you have in your serious life. And stuff.

I take pain seriously because I can't take it any other way. Life may have no meaning but it has a lot of feeling that can't be escaped, by me anyway. I take happiness seriously too. When I was little I took things much more easily because I didn't imagine living beyond 20 - I didn't imagine dying, but I just thought there was no was I was gonna become one of those adults, so this was just a game I was playing for awhile. Have had to adjust to the reality of being a decaying life form that finishes what it started. Huhh.

Agree on the pain bit, although it's a bit annoying when fear of future pain makes one take life seriously even though there is no guarantee of that future pain. So, while I agree that pain will be taken seriously insofar as it is an inescapable sensation, there's maybe no good reason to be bothered by this outwith those painful times.

Interesting kind of counter persective of feeling light as a child because unawares or only distantly aware of death, to the perspective that when death seems iminent there are less hang ups about what happens while still alive. Maybe that 'middle period' is the most serious when we are conscious of approaching death yet still have a fair while to go and more invested in how things go until then.

Yeah, I here what you're saying. Have you actually managed to lighten up about things? I'm just wondering how this can be done although, as I suggested in OP, I'm not sure advice or anything external (barring dramatic events) can make a difference. I tend to think one must somehow come to it on one's own.

I like this. What do you mean by not wanting to go to your grave in mental anguish? Is it that you want to feel not too serious because that truly would be unreasonable at the point of death, given there was little else that could now happen?

Does anxiety of one kind tend to increase while another kind decreases approaching death?

Is you perspective about not thinking you can make things happen and so on something that you have learned not to have or is it that you have adapted your view as you've gotton older because it is becoming less likely that you will be able to make anything happen? Or both?!

I naturally fixate on everything and want to learn everything about everything. So I take life way too seriously and just can't stop doing it. It's like I have a circuit blown in my brain or something.

But at the same time, I act like a freaking kid constantly and don't take most things seriously - in practice. Except for work and hobbies. Those things I tend to become a perfectionist about. I joke constantly and make sarcastic comments about silly things, but mostly I keep that between myself and close friends/family, since most people think my humor is weird.

I did, though I'm no longer sure how it happened. I think the first step was to stop caring. About anything. I'm going to die some day - meh. Everyone I ever love will one day be gone. Oh well, can't be helped. Terrorists have seized control of an embassy somewhere in the middle east and are shooting people. Tch, same old world. I do seem to find it hard to stop caring about animals, though - I'd care far less about an orphanage being blown up than someone hurting a kitten.

First, stop watching the news. Stop reading newspapers. There is nothing in there of any relevance for you. If anything major is happening to you, you will know about it! Remember that the news is there to make you miserable and fearful, because this makes you more likely to buy their nonsense (weird, that, but there you go. Good news never sells that well).

Second, develop your ego. You are a brilliant, amazing person and you are more important than anyone else in the world. Repeat this to yourself five times a day, every day. There's a risk that you'll become arrogant, but it's better than hating yourself. Since your needs are more important than anyone else's, all that whinging people keep doing becomes just a background drone. Charity? Meh. I'd rather spend my money on me, thanks.

Once you're in a position where you value yourself more than anyone else (otherwise known as "normal" - this is the default state for most people) and you've cut out all the guilt and emotional blackmail that people are throwing at you, you can move on to step three. This is where you start lowering your barriers - but only to important things. Charities, friends, family, helping the world... all that stuff is fine, but if you try to care for too much you'll never cope. Care for a few things that are important to you, and you'll be happier in yourself and can actually make a difference.

Yeah, it sounds horrible. You're basically shutting down all your empathy for a while, so you can build yourself up. If you want to love the world, you MUST first love yourself. So take time off from everyone and everything else and focus on that.

I've also noticed a lot of the people who act the part of anti-serious police are the same people to panic and flip out about things. Seems like everyone's running from something these days and trying to prove to the person next to them that they share a problem that they simply don't.


I think the more energy a person has to put into making things right and keeping their lives from essentially becoming a 'hell' of sorts, yes - having a sense of humor is essential but that's not the same necessarily as not taking life seriously and its very difficult not to be serious about things when you live somewhat close to the edge.

It's like people saying "You're deeper than you need to be". If they're caucasian I sometimes feel like pointing out to them that they're whiter than they need to be and that it would perfectly okay for them to be more asian or arabic (especially asian - way more popular by numbers).

Jokes aside though, yes, I think its an utterly vacuous criticism for the most part.