believer´s opinion on not believers going to church?

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spongy
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17 Apr 2012, 3:20 am

Well spring time is coming and a lot of first communions/weddings/you name it are being planned now(good weather is comings so theres less chance of rain messing things up...)

Some of this events involve non believers having to go to church so I was wondering how do religious people see this sort of thing.

I know its not the kind of thread thats usually being discussed here but I couldnt find a better place and I was unable to find a different online board about religion that fitted the criteria I was looking for.



TallyMan
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17 Apr 2012, 3:32 am

As a non-believer who has been to church occasionally for the weddings of family I find it rather awkward. I end up not singing the hymns nor doing any of the prayers and just sit/stand as appropriate and gaze around at the building and people there, sometimes making accidental eye contact with the priest/vicar who seems baffled that I'm not singing along / praying like the rest of the folks there. Generally I try to avoid such places, but occasionally it is necessary to go, just to support the union of the family who are getting married. Besides, after enduring the church service there is usually a nice nosh-up elsewhere. :P

Regarding funerals of friends / family I always sit at the back where nobody will see my non-participation and misinterpret it. I can happy see off friends and family and pay my last respects without getting involved in a load of religious pap.

I have left instructions that upon my own demise that there is to be no religious service for me and I am to be either cremated or my body left to medical science for the student doctors to dissect and play with.


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CrazyCatLord
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17 Apr 2012, 3:59 am

I think it's safe to say that the majority of statistical Christians in my country are agnostic non-believers. If you ask them about their religion, they'll either say "Catholic" or "Protestant". Ask them when was the last time they went to a church, and most of them will respond in the line of "some years ago for a wedding or funeral", or even "the day I was baptized as an infant". And if you ask if they believe in god, many will shrug, smile, and say something like "I guess I don't really know." So, chances are that you won't be the only non-believer at the wedding :)



TallyMan
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17 Apr 2012, 4:31 am

That is very much true for my family and friends. Most are superficially "Church of England" if asked; but they only attend churches for weddings and funerals, and most of the time weddings are non-religious ceremonies held in registry offices anyway; very few of my relatives nowadays use churches for any ceremonies. Most don't own a bible, pray or watch any religious programmes on TV and never speak of religion. It is just irrelevant to their lives. Church weddings and funerals are generally just a matter of tradition in England. Brides wanting a "white wedding" if they can afford one; just like they want a sunny holiday abroad on a warm beach and a new car.

So going back to spongy's question. Most of the people who attend weddings and funerals (that I know) in the UK aren't "real believers" anyway, though some may write "Christian" on their census forms under the question "What religion are you?".

From what I've read the US sounds a very different place to western Europe. A number of people have to attend church every week and give lip-service to being a Christian despite being an atheist, otherwise they risk becoming ostracised from other family members and their workplace. Apparently being an atheist is considered a bad thing in many parts of America. In much of western Europe saying one is an atheist is of no more consequence than saying one doesn't like anchovies on pizza.


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ArrantPariah
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17 Apr 2012, 6:54 am

I think that most believers welcome non-believers into the church as a possible opportunity to convert you.



Declension
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17 Apr 2012, 8:16 am

I have some cousins and uncles on the Catholic side of the family who don't seem to take it particularly seriously. We sometimes exchange amused looks at religious events. But we all appreciate the ritual.

It's funny, I had an hushed conversation with a cousin-in-law at a baptism recently, about the fact that he had officially "renounced Satan" as the father of the child. We pondered what this might entail, and made jokes about what sort of pranks you could pull on the priest, Exorcist-style.

But I know when to not say anything. I don't want to spoil anyone's fun.



GoonSquad
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17 Apr 2012, 8:23 am

CrazyCatLord wrote:
I think it's safe to say that the majority of statistical Christians in my country are agnostic non-believers. If you ask them about their religion, they'll either say "Catholic" or "Protestant". Ask them when was the last time they went to a church, and most of them will respond in the line of "some years ago for a wedding or funeral", or even "the day I was baptized as an infant". And if you ask if they believe in god, many will shrug, smile, and say something like "I guess I don't really know." So, chances are that you won't be the only non-believer at the wedding :)


It's too bad Americans can't be more like this....

Evangelicals (religious and atheist) suck.


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17 Apr 2012, 12:16 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:
I think that most believers welcome non-believers into the church as a possible opportunity to convert you.


Come and play with us... forever.. and ever... and ever.. and ever..

Churches creep me out


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17 Apr 2012, 12:17 pm

GoonSquad wrote:
Evangelicals (religious and atheist) suck.


Atheist evangelism?


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snapcap
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17 Apr 2012, 12:53 pm

GoonSquad wrote:
It's too bad Americans can't be more like this....

Evangelicals (religious and atheist) suck.


I think the term atheist fundamentalist is better.


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Ragtime
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17 Apr 2012, 12:56 pm

I welcome respectful non-believers in church. Further, I don't think they should be pressured by believers to participate in anything that goes on in the church building, and again, all this is predicated on the non-believers simply respecting where they are, and what the place means to the believers. (Of course, I guess I would have to go to church myself to welcome them. I don't currently attend.)


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Mummy_of_Peanut
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17 Apr 2012, 1:22 pm

CrazyCatLord wrote:
I think it's safe to say that the majority of statistical Christians in my country are agnostic non-believers. If you ask them about their religion, they'll either say "Catholic" or "Protestant". Ask them when was the last time they went to a church, and most of them will respond in the line of "some years ago for a wedding or funeral", or even "the day I was baptized as an infant". And if you ask if they believe in god, many will shrug, smile, and say something like "I guess I don't really know." So, chances are that you won't be the only non-believer at the wedding :)
I'd say it's probably the same here. I was raised Catholic, was one of the most pious (a true believer) at my school and went to mass every Sunday, until my early 20s. These days, I'm agnostic and I'm raising my daughter to think for herself and make her own choices. It's normal for Catholics here to attend Catholic schools (although there are no rules about what school they can attend and non Catholics are welcome at Catholic schools too). I've chosen to send my daughter to the local non-denom school. As we walk to school each morning, I get strange looks from the parents waiting for the Catholic school bus, as some of them went to school with me. I know they wonder what happened and why my daughter isn't Catholic. I also know they don't attend mass, don't believe, but are putting their children through the Catholic sacraments. One of them said that she didn't believe in God, but she was getting her kids baptised because it was 'a nice thing to do'. The mind boggles.


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ValentineWiggin
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17 Apr 2012, 1:45 pm

snapcap wrote:
GoonSquad wrote:
It's too bad Americans can't be more like this....

Evangelicals (religious and atheist) suck.


I think the term atheist fundamentalist is better.

Image


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snapcap
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17 Apr 2012, 3:16 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
snapcap wrote:
GoonSquad wrote:
It's too bad Americans can't be more like this....

Evangelicals (religious and atheist) suck.


I think the term atheist fundamentalist is better.

Image


It's even more absurd than that

Image

:lol:


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naturalplastic
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17 Apr 2012, 3:19 pm

snapcap wrote:
GoonSquad wrote:
It's too bad Americans can't be more like this....

Evangelicals (religious and atheist) suck.


I think the term atheist fundamentalist is better.


Wrong.

"Atheist evangelist" is correct.
The term "atheist fundamentalist" is meaningless.


If you are militant about your creed and aggressively go out and seek converts with missionary zeal, then your a being "evangelical" about your creed.

If you're a "fundamentalist" you believe in getting down the bedrock of your creed by adhering strictly to scripture. In Christianity the scripture would be the Bible.

Exactly what "scripture" would an atheist adhere too to become a "fundamentalist"?

Ayn Rand? Karl Marx? Christopher Hitchens?

Unless your trying to construct a joke you cant apply "fundamentlism" to atheism.



Last edited by naturalplastic on 17 Apr 2012, 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ValentineWiggin
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17 Apr 2012, 3:20 pm

snapcap wrote:

It's even more absurd than that

Image

:lol:


Still haven't mastered the concept of skepticism, I see.


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