22 Apr 2012, 3:13 pm
And here's the proof:
Came in yesterday's mail. I mean if this organization isn't on the up and up, who is? Just because the salutation is "Dear....Someone connected with this address" and the closing has no name on it, merely that it is from the "Senior Bishop" of blahblahblah, Must be very modest, not to use his name, is my thinking.
And just take a gander at these testimonials:
And then comes the serious part. I wasn't supposed to open the sealed fold-up until after I'd done all the rest of it, emphasized by touchdown Jesus ascending into the sky...
...but I, ahh, kinda did, anyways...
Very impressive, especially the ALL CAPS part. And, the moment you've been waiting for: the "Prayer Rug" in all its glory. First, the instructions on the back, then flip it over for a view of Jesus in his purple phase...
The image is such a mess because the "prayer rug" is actually an 11"x17" poster, and I can't do image editing for squat. Sorry about that. I did try, but when all you've got is a flatbed scanner, you do the best you can. The writing at the bottom of which I managed to truncate a good amount is all about staring at the image and watching Jesus' eyes open, which I doubt will work on the posted copy. But feel free to try.
Anyways, bidding is open. Cash only, no bills larger than $50 and they damn well better be non-sequential. Minimum of $1,000. Also specify whatever it is you're looking for, from having your sore throat healed, (see the testimonials) to getting $46,000. Oh, and I need to know if you want me to kneel on Jesus or hold him between my knees, since that's how they say it works. (I'll do the between the knees thing if asked, but candidly it strikes me as kinda oogie.)
Amyhoo, one time offer folks. Once its gone, its gone. And chances like this don't come by every day.
24 Apr 2012, 2:26 pm
24 Apr 2012, 6:36 pm
25 Apr 2012, 11:05 pm
25 Apr 2012, 11:33 pm
07 May 2012, 3:05 pm
The OP was making fun of the phenomenon.
Shhh...Getting a warning of some sort over that nonsense would have made my day.
I wanted to write them back and ask how they could know my future (re: the ALLCAPS prophecy page) but didn't know whether or not I actually would be opening it (message on outside). Then promise them some sum of money if they provided a convincing answer. But the way my luck runs I would not get an answer, but would just wind up on some "Junk Mail for Jesus" list and be buried under that crap. (I've heard that these kind of groups make a good chunk of their money simply selling their mailing lists of suckers to like minded groups.)
What reminded me of this post (I'd completely forgotten about it) was that the Prayer Rug/Poster went out in the recycling today. Though recycling seems far closer to reincarnation than Resurrection, doesn't it?
07 May 2012, 9:43 pm
07 May 2012, 10:26 pm
07 May 2012, 10:26 pm
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