"black and white thoughts" and ethics

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so I have a very specific and rather consistent set of ethics which has very little relationship to the society I live in (I'm accidentally similar to traditional Japanese Buddhist/Shinto ethics) and I've been accused of "moral grandstanding" and otherwise taking myself too seriously and being self-righteous. it's one of the only ways I ever offend people and I can see it as a variation of the classic "aspies say things which are honest/hyper-logical which NTs find offensive".

my question is...how do you modulate, or should you modulate this kind of black and white thinking, since ethics is traditionally something you are praised for not allowing compromises in and so on.

I could be described as a Tolstoyan anarchist and vegetarian, and this quite often puts me into conflict with others, which I've learned to silence and modulate since logical argument has almost no relevancy to people coming around to my way of thinking. I'm not looking to debate these topics here...more to explore the notion of aspies whose special interests/black and white thoughts coincide with ethics and politics, and how they can (or if they should) treat their worldview as a "symptom" of aspergers and not something to be defended/argued at all costs.
thoughts?

My philosophy is far from 'black and white' and permits the existence of many shades in-between, but in practice it is largely about contraries when I react to different events. Do you like me or hate me? Was that a 'yes' or a 'no'? People might seem to understand, or not cling to one contrary, but I don't understand and always persistently inquire.