First off all, I want to set the mood straight off the bat- this post isn't a atheistic or agnostic tirade against God (and when I saw "God" in this context, I'm talking about the God of the Bible, of Christianity and Judaism)- Yahweh, God the Father, Jesus, etc).
The point of this post is to share my personal beliefs, and present the claim that anger towards God is a direct and
understandable response to an individual being autistic.Autism and Its Effect on Neurotypical Parents via Faith:I have read many articles and stories on the Internet about parents who give birth to autistic children. Autism advocacy is big right now with the whole "Autism Awareness", and growing statistic of autism rates. 1 in 88 children in the United States are born with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (Center for Disease Control and Prevention). 1 out of 54 boys and 1 in 252 girls are diagnosed with autism in the United States (
www.autismspeaks.org).
From the many articles I've read, when neurotypical parents give birth to severely to moderately autistic kids, a lot of them immediately get angry at God, or if they have a stronger faith, they question Him as to why He allowed their child to be born autistic. But often, their train of thought is this (and in the articles I've read, they've expressed their thoughts)- "Why is my child so different from every other child?" "Am I being punished by God for something I did by creating my child autistic?", "My child will never be like other children- he/she will never be able to do AB and C". Most learn to cope with their child's disability, and learns to love and appreciate their child just the way they ware.
In some cases neurotypical parents even blame God for "ruining" their child, even though these instances are rare.
So Autism does create anger towards God, as well as it does create confusion, even among neurotypicals.
Autism advocacy primarily focuses on parents and family members who have children who are severely to moderately autistic, and are in need of daily assistance and help. I do not believe that autism advocacy really focuses on high functioning autistics, like the majority of the people on this forum, because in my opinion, the focus is more on the parents of autistic children, and their struggle to cope wit their children's disabilities.
No, this is not a "us vs. them", "aspies vs. neurotypicals" debate, it is simply what I believe to be true. Autism advocacy is focused primarily on neurotypical parents and family members dealing with someone who has severe to moderate autism.
My testimony:I used to be a Christian for a long time, and used to go to youth groups at church, and read my Bible often. I used to be very knowledgeable on the Bible, and was able to remember Scripture by heart. I used to feel like I was love by God because I was accepted by His children, other Christians.
But when I started looking at question of "Why did God create me autistic?", I couldn't find the answer. I have struggled in my life because of autism- I've never had a legitimate girlfriend, never dated, never got married, don't have a career started yet (and I'm nearing 27), and don't live independently yet. The future fills me with dread and apprehension, because I question my competency because I am so far behind in so many areas.
When I started looking at the World, and seeing how far behind I was because of my autism, that is when I began questioning God and His "goodness". The reference scripture for why people are disabled can be found in John 9:1-3. Jesus and His disciples are walking down a road, and encounter a blind man. His disciples immediately asked "Rabbi, what sin did this man commit, or what sins did his parents commit, that he be made blind." Jesus replied "This man is blind not because of his sins, or the sins of his parents. He is blind so that the power of God could be seen through him." After saying that, Jesus healed the man.
I felt that was insulting- God purposely made me delayed and weaker than everyone else to somehow show the world His glory through my weakness. If I told you that you were autistic because God wanted to show His glory through your disability, would you not be insulted?
I have been told by Christians (whom I still hold in high regard, because they are creations of God, like myself) that "God loves you, and He has a plan for your life!", "You can still serve God with your disability", "God loves you and created you the way you are for a reason!"
Really? If He loved me so much, why didn't He make me like the rest of His children, neurotypical, without mental or physical defects? How do I know He has a purpose for my life if He has allowed me to struggle in so many areas? He does not vindicate Himself, He does not explain Himself, despite my requests that He would show me why He made me this way.
I am merely supposed to assume He has my best intentions without evidence to support that belief.
I don't want to be angry at God, but I feel like I don't have any other choice- He doesn't explain Himself, even though He can. If He would just tell me that my life has a purpose, and that He created me the way I am for a reason, I would have no reason to be angry at Him.
But I suppose that is too much to ask....
I see a lot of autistics who are agnostic or atheist. I respect their belief to not believe in God, or to believe there is a God, but not know who He is. But I know who God is, I know He exists, but I can't fathom for the life of me why He allows so many innocent people to suffer, while He allows so many others to be created "normally". It is almost random. This is my testimony.
From my understanding of the Bible, it doesn't necessarily follow that God intended that you (or anyone else) to be autistic or have any form of disability. Sure, God is responsible for our creation, but I don't think that disability, pain, sorrow, etc., were ever supposed to be all part of God's plan.
It's the age-old question: "Why is their pain?/Why do good people suffer?/Why do bad things happen to good people?/..." I know several people who have either died from cancer or are currently in treatment for it. One guy I know is a preacher's kid with a brain tumor. Rather than freaking out about a potentially deadly disease, or going on and on about how he's ready to fight/being overly optimistic, his MAIN concern in dealing with his illness is that at all stages of treatment that his mind won't be affected to the point that he says/does things that would appear to be dishonoring to God. It reminds me of the rantings of Job, repeatedly calling out to God "Why...?" Much of what Job had to say was the result of someone whose mind was deeply affected by the level of suffering he had to endure.
The thing is, while my acquaintance with a brain tumor is handling things quietly and serenely, being angry or feeling abandoned is a natural response when bad things happen.
I would say that it is not good to direct anger towards God. It isn't sinful to be angry; rather, we go wrong when we choose poor responses to our situation.
And since injustice, pain, disease, and such are not part of God's plan, it is incorrect to "blame God" for all the ills of the world.
If you want to blame someone or something, blame the imperfect world we live in and the people living in it who made it the way it is. Disease, war, and all kinds of suffering are products of a fallen creation--not the world as God created it, but the world that mankind replaced it with. Suffering and death are all part of our reality, and that goes all the way back to Eden.
All you can do is trust God and do the best you can with what you're given. That's all that any of us can do. You should feel angry. I imagine God is pretty angry, too, with things the way they are. But, of course, if you know the Bible very well, then you'll understand that the way things are right now are only temporary.
12 Oct 2013, 11:00 pm
