Gay adoption

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Saw this image on Facebook and it was too good not to post.

That's pretty accurate.A mental health worker told me you see more abuse of adopted kids or foster kids in the homes that have religious fanatics as parents than you do same sex parents.

There are so many children without parents waiting to be adopted, it's tragically unfair to them to deny them legitimate families just because the adults looking to adopt them might be same sex couples.

sucks bad man

Are you sure they'd look at the couple in the lower one and say, "yep, looks good"?

I don't have a problem with gay adoption, but I would like to see the studies in deciding whether adopting out to an opposite sex couple is preferable, for cases where there are more potential adopters than adoptees (because you'd want to adopt the children out to the best possible homes, and if it turns out that that means straight couples, then to straight couples they should go).

Just always remember, parents don't have rights, any more than a trustee has rights. Adoption agencies should be looking out for the children first, and basing their adoption decisions on that. No-one has a right to adopt.

the only argument against gay adoption that i can sort of understand is that children would be far more vulnerable to bullying, but that is a cultural indictment rather than an indictment of the inherent ability or inability of gay couples to look after children.

There is absolutely no evidence that the sexuality of parents affects the sexuality of children. Otherwise no homosexual children would come from heterosexual parents.

I've found the biggest source of bullying not to be from other kids, but other adults. Every child around my age, and younger/older who is aware of my dad's sexuality has been understanding, cool with it, or not caring. I've heard what other parents used to say at the school gates, and been told by my friends what they've said about us behind our back, and some of it is just appalling. It's incredibly hurtful to hear that parents are forbidding their kids from coming to your house to play or for dinner because of it, or worse, the insinuation that because you're gay you're a pedophile aswell. It's conserably improved since we moved to our new home than it was back in Scotland however there are still a few devoutly religious parents who claim my dad and his partner are heathens, violating gods laws, ruining their children's lives and almost definitely going to hell, but fortunately they are the slight minority and aren't really causing us any problems.

Lou

You sir are very well spoken for one your age.

I read the title as "gay abortion". I guess that's one trouble gay people don't have to worry about?

It doesn't have to be a 100% guaranteed relation. We do know homosexual behaviour was practised as a normal phenomenon in certain cultures in the past (Antique Greece being one), so a society can definitely affect whom people will choose to have intercourse with. I don't buy the claim that one is born with it.

^^^
Why don't you believe that some individuals are born homosexual?

I don't deny that some disposition exists which results in a similar percentage of gay people across the globe, but it seems that there are noticeable fluctuations depending on the environment. Value systems, laws etc. - they all have something to do with it. For example, an inherent disposition towards alcoholism will not go anywhere should you live your entire life in the UAE. Likewise, you might never have the urge to drink, but in certain cultures this will be a necessity in order to have a career or build working relationships with people if you want them to do things for you.

I'm sure it's possible for a gay man to peacefully live out his life without ever realising his homosexuality (if it is not talked about or considered normal), or not mind his sexuality discrepancy at all should he decide to lead a celibate lifestyle. There are a lot of things we don't understand about ourselves; sometimes they're better off resting inside without any expression too.

Again, I'm not one of the people to think I have a right to decide how other grown men and women should live, but this position seems almost hard not to express considering the tremendous effort to persuade everybody into believing a mythology that I don't find very convincing at all.

But how many of those people with homosexual dispositions who lived as straights their whole lives did so only because they were afraid to express who they really were? One of my oldest friends, who had also been the best man at my wedding, had lived the greater part of his life pretending to be straight because of his conservative Catholic upbringing. He had collected straight porn magazines strategically placed for his parents to be aware of, and had even had sex with women from time to time. But all that time he was fully aware of his own same sex preferences, developing a drinking problem while trying to cope with his depression that had grown out of his attempts to hide it. Today, he is out of the closet, very happy, and has not touched a drop in years.

Thank you very much, Bill. That's one of the ways my ASD has affected me for the better, my literacy and numeracy have always been years ahead of my age



Why not 'Valk?

If it's not the case that some individuals are born as gay, then I'd be extremely interested to learn what influenced me as my dad apparently suspected I would turn out gay when I was still a toddler. I've been aware of my proclivities towards boys over girls since I was 5, but for years I kept it to myself. His sexuality wasn't the cause of it as for my first 3 years he was happily married to my mother before she took us away, it wasn't until several years later that he came out as bisexual. While I lived with mom I was brought up in the same devoutly Christian way that she had, forced to believe that anything other than being heterosexual was un-natural and against god's way. Mom hated that me and my brother have aspergers, I could never have told her that I liked boys, she would have hit the roof, and probably my bottom. Living with my dad and his partner haven't made me turn gay, it's made me happy and comfortable to be who I already was without the fear of being hated for being different.

Lou

That couple might not be religious fanatics. Just having a crucifix on a wall doesn't necessarily mean they are. The cartoon is pointing out that two people who are the opposite sex can be just as destructive as what main stream psychologists and advocates say about same sex couples. I personally would NOT want to be raised by two women though. I know for a fact I get along better with guys than I do ladies, when I have to share a home. I can deal with women in smaller doses but I don't want to live with one. It's just the typical feminine qualities grate my nerves more than the males but I like going places with women. Women are for going out, men are for the house sums up my value system because I don't enjoy going places with men, for the most part.

Anyway, that cartoon illustrates the way people are so easily fooled by a married couple of the opposite sex. They just assume such people will automatically be perfect without any problems whatsoever and that is far from reality. There are an awful lot of dysfunctional people in the world and when they decide to be parents, sheesh. We all see the results and it aint pretty.

That's just the family idea that's been instilled into us, if we went really far back then the norm would be kids raised by groups of women and older children, the men appearing only occasionally I expect. The one woman and one man joining together to raise the child is fairly recent, and it's far from any guarantee of good parenting.

Lou

Last edited by LouHusky on 28 Dec 2013, 4:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I would say all people are born with an asexual nature. There is absolutely no need for a newborn baby to have a sexuality.

I believe sexuality develops throughout childhood. The child "learns" his or her preferences subconsciously, perhaps in the same way a person learns to talk, or to eat, but over a longer time period. I think some people do not learn their sexuality until late in life, some learn it very early.

However, it does appear that some people have a predisposition to their sexuality, and perhaps this is genetic, so maybe in some people their "learning" of their sexuality is dictated by their genetic make up.

Gay adoption is fine by me, but let us not forget that gay couples are no more likely to be loving and consistent with their children than any given straight couple. So it is up to the authorities to determine the safest environment for the child.