Anxiety and fears

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These are turbulent times

 

I have had dealt with anxiety and some depression since I was a teenager. I remember first coming to light about politics when Obama was elected for president. I was in high school. I'm 25 right now.

 

Now, my anxiety is becoming worse. I don't feel like I can survive or "make it". I have a really strong fear of doomsday, and I haven't defeated it yet. I feel anxious and worried about Obama being so desperate to stay in power forever and, then all things bad will break loose. I'm also very worried and fear for Donald Trump's security. I wonder what the likelihood is that his security is tight enough.

 

I am trying to pray to God, but I have trouble with him, and sometimes I don't want to talk to him. I'm tired and depressed about hearing how heaven is so great, we won't miss this Earth. Now, please don't make me cry. I'm not ready to die yet. I want to grow up into a proud older man. It's not fair. I wish God can comfort me and tell me it's alright. I never attended church at all in years.

 

And a few days ago I was also concerned by North Korea and it's immediate threat. I still am. It hurts to think that I can die at any moment.

 

But I try to talk about it with my parents, but they see that I perseverated in it so much that they don't want to talk about the subject with me anymore. I don't think many people will give a sh*t about my worry and anxiety because they are just radical looney leftists.

 

I just fear that my own life is endangered and that humankind will not survive. The difference is that during times like the cold war, we were still lucky enough to survive and avoid being bombed.

 

And please don't respond to me by telling me to go get friends and a job, my circumstances right now are making it hard to start doing anything outside my house.

 

I am feeling a little ill in the head over this.

All times are turbulent, some more than others. World War Two was more turbulent, if you are living in Aleppo it is more turbulent. While a lot less violent than previous changes, this is a time of change, a time when things, beliefs, and rules that have been previously been considered "just the way things are and will always be" are being replaced enthusiastically. A time when basic parts of who many of us are and what we believe make us hopelessly out of date. That is anxiety producing.