I believe in Angels.

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The energy of heightened success is available now. You can manifest your thoughts and ideas right now, so choose them very carefully!
Just as you are capable of manifesting masterpieces, you are also capable of manifesting problems and chaos.
Angel wisdom reminds you that you are also able to undo any manifestations that you are unhappy with in your life. Use the alchemy of spirit to turn ordinary events and projects into something extraordinary. You have the power to make these endeavours come alive with meaning and purpose. You have the power to bless and bring abundance to all that you desire to touch. The gratitude and the joy that is felt in response to these beautiful creations are keys to amplifying your alchemical abilities. When you channel that energy, you become the Master. Call upon your angels to assist you in enhancing any project you wish to undertake and transform, as it is our desire to be in the flow of service to humanity.
Affirmation: "I am powerful. I use my abilities to manifest my desires now. Thank you."

An angel is a bodiless, immortal spirit, limited in knowledge and power.  God created angels to worship Him, not to serve humans.  Not all of God's angels acted angelically, however.  Some angels, led by Satan (a.k.a., Lucifer), rebelled against a life of submission, and were cast out of Heaven.  These bad angels were sent to Hell and are known as devils. 

Not all angels are created equal.  From top to bottom, the celestial hierarchy includes seraphim, cherubim, thrones; dominions, virtues, powers; principalities, archangels, and angels.  Angels have different functions.  Some do nothing but worship the Lord.  Others are sent to deliver messages to creatures on earth.  Some are sent as protectors of earthlings.  Still others are sent to do battle with devils, who are viewed as initiators of evil temptations.

Traditional religionists are not the only ones who love angels.  New Age mythmakers have made an industry out of angels.  Dozens of books connecting angels with everything from guidance in daily life to talking to the dead to psychic healing are published every year. Sales of angel figurines and other material products are brisk.  As one lofty soul put it: "Gently guided by angels, we nurture and cherish the creative soul that heals itself."

Angel therapy is a type of New Age therapy based on the notion that communicating with angels is the key to healing.  Angel therapists believe they facilitate healing by helping their patients get in touch with angels who will guide the patients in the right direction.

Sensible people prefer to consult appropriately-trained and licensed medical professionals.

And God (or Angels or spirit) "opened her eyes"

According to some reading, I was more or less traumatized, neglected and is internally isolated because of some crazy mess in the past. Then there's this miscommunication it says.
Having this sort of mess for several lifetimes now, that may or may not explain why I'm regressing.

And why is my subconscious being an unreliable brat who refuses to learn the damn ancient lesson, or throw the damn trash out that I have nothing to do about.


What do you think I must do?? Don't answer that question. Just think what you believe.

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Now I've got that Christmas song stuck in my head..

"Manifesting"? "Alchemical"? This isn't Christian. It's wishful-thinking nonsense.

Jesus is salvation, and that's all you really need. Everything else, the material side of life on earth, is simply a matter of using what God blesses you with for your own gain. I do think that being a Christian means you have a set of values that reach beyond yourself, but that's only because those are things you want, anyway. They are YOUR values, and thus genuine altruistic motives aren't really workable in the Christian experience. That's why you see so many Christians who are desperately miserable. They're dealing with artificial guilt they'll never be able to shake.

But also, this whole wishful thinking bit reeks of greed. You want earthly reward (not necessarily a sinful thing) to the extent you wish to manipulate spiritual powers to get it. If sorcery actually DID work, you're still faced with the fact that the Bible clearly spells out that sorcery is wrong. If God allows me to get what I want, that's one thing. It's not my place to manipulating God into providing for me. That's the stuff of witchcraft. The OP needs to repent.

I could probably say a few useful things about 'alchemical' but lately on the internet that's getting to be thrown around like 'quantum' - probably not the right place to talk Michael Maier, Basil Valentine, Fulcanelli, or even Jung for that matter.

So to put my own spin of understanding on this - we're living in a truly bizarre place where we've been at the whims of nature from the beginning of life upward, by all appearances we're racing toward a place where we'll be dealing with something close to human extinction, all of this is quite well locked into place based on our apishness and need to outpace each other in the war of personal importance, getting the best mate we can, accruing whatever material goods we need to have status and get a mate (or have the looks, clothes, etc. to get a mate), it's not at all collaborative - we need to stomp our would-be competition to red mud, and as we've gotten closer to this precipice it seems like the blind will to not only maintain status quo but accelerate it even has society's foot clamped to the throttle - I'm talking spectacular Hollywood style suicide scene where someone's taking an old early 70's sports car 100 mph + at the end of a dock - is taking the upper hand and is looking quite likely to have it's way because, unfortunately, that mentality is where the societal power is right now.

At the same time we're having increasing numbers of people coming back with NDE's and talking about that terrain as in many ways very emotionally/cognitively detatched from the mechanics of what we're dealing with here (probably a large part of why we feel like we're on our own with the elements of Darwinian evolution), people are increasingly talking about everything from angels and archangels to Olympic spirits and ancestors as occultism gets real scholarship and as increasing numbers of serious practitioners are out there on social media discussing what they're finding out, what concepts seem like cultural mashup or accident vs. things that seem to consistently have something to them, and it seems like the landscape and biome they describe isn't something that seems like it should surprise us too much but.... trying to hold these two pictures of the world in your head is quite a task, it's like having a burning coal in one hand and a chunk of dry ice in the other.

Whatever this is, needless to say, I'm not looking forward to it. Glad we have resources we can call in, but at the same time - I really see where this could end up worse than the first half of the 20th century, by a long shot.

I'm still wondering, even knowing that you're immortal, how much more gentle would that make a place like Unit 731 or the worst of the Soviet gulags? Not a pleasant question to think about, but this whole situation and its inevitability seems really....really perverse. I think back to my days in my late 20's where I was somewhat a begrudging atheist materialist and the major relief that came with that choice is living in a universe where no conscious creator had direct culpability for evil and it didn't have to be explained. In a lot of ways, here too, I have to hope that this is more of a salvage mission on their part, that we are living in a pantheistic/panentheistic sort of superorganism universe that has about as much interest or insight into this world as I have into bacterial wars going on in some of my body's cells, because that same question still gives me chills.

I'll add to that last point - if you've ever, at any or even many times, found yourself praying to be erased from existence - not go to heaven or hell but have all of your past, present, and future deleted because you were that put off by what it is to be human or to even exist in the sort of universe that allows for this type of world to exist, I'm sure some of that will land. The best I can hope for is that we're indeed being salvaged from an accidental absurdity, a bit like The Cube, rather than anything anyone - anywhere - would have thought was a good idea.