Some (I Think) Amusing Jokes

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A police officer pulls over a car that has been weaving back and forth on the highway. He walks up to the driver of the car and is surprised to see a priest. So he says, "I'm sorry, father, but I you were driving erratically and I do have to ask you: were you drinking?" And the priest tells him, "No." So the police officer asks him, "Well, what's in that thermos?" The priest replies, "Water." So the police officer takes the thermos and smells it, then says to the priest, "This is wine!" To which the priest replies, "Good Lord, He's done it again!! !

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A man is talking to God one day. He asks, "Hey God, how much is a million dollars to You?" God replies, "Oh, about a penny." The man thinks about this and then asks, "God, how long is a million years to you?" God replies, "Oh, about a minute." The man thinks this over and suddenly gets a bright idea: "Hey God - can I borrow a penny?" And God replies "Sure - just a minute."

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One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When she returned she told God, "Yes it is bad on Earth; 95% is bad and 5% is good.
Well, he thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another point of view."

So God called another angel and sent her to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned she went to God and told him that yes, the Earth was in decline; 95% bad and only 5% good.

God said that this was not good. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good to encourage them and to give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what that E-mail said?

You didn't get one either, huh?

I don't get the last one

The e-mail one?

The set up is that good people got the email and bad people did not.

When asked what the e-mail said, the natural response is to say "What?" to play along with the joke.

Once you say "what" though, the joke teller turns it around. They say, in effect, if you say "what" you are admitting you don't know what was in the email. If you don't know what was in the email it meant you didn't get the email. If you didn't get the email, you must be a bad person since only bad people didn't get the mail.

I'm not sure I'm explaining that well...

BeeBee
PS---I liked them all.

thanks bee bee. I get it now...the mail didn't actually say "You didn't get one either" but you have to imagine that the person telling the joke is saying that to you.

Yes, tom, actually! Thank you for clarifing that.

Thanks....you made my day.....great stuff!

Liked the other ones, though.