How to handle my dad's prosletysing?

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My dad is a different religion to me.

I don't mind that. It's up to him what he believes.

But he brings it up every time I touch on something remotely religious. And he's dogmatic about it. And then if I don't say 'yes of course you're right' (when he's not) he sulks and stops responding to me, for over a day.

I'm not going to say he's right when he isn't.

I'm not deliberately talking religion with him. I'm making mistakes. Like telling him what The Good Place tv show is about and my criticisms of it. (I'm watching Series One. I dislike how they categorise people cos their definition of a good person has little to do with being a good person for eg a good person can have crap taste in music but in the TV show that leads them to Hell...)

How do I get it so he stops sulking?

Do I have to be even more careful than I am being?

I'm sorry to hear about this tension in your family.

Have you tried to discuss with him his habit of sulking and how you feel about it?

Also, when he tries to proselytize, how does he go about it? What specific kinds of things does he say to you? (If you can tell us some of the more common specifics, some of us might be able to help you brainstorm good assertive but diplomatic responses.)

I know what you mean.....I'm lucky I only get yelled at by religious fanatics on the train. You have a dad who is a religious fanatic.

I would just try to change the subject....that usually works for me.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 09 Nov 2020, 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

There's a bit of a twist at the end of S1. You might want to hold off discussing this until you've finished.

You can do nothing without killing off a little bit of yourself through deception.

It is his choice to act like a petulant brat, and you are not responsible for his choices.

You do not have to be careful at all.

Be yourself, and he may eventually realize that he can not control your mind.

Last edited by Fnord on 09 Nov 2020, 10:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

With some people, stopping being nice helps.
He's the one who acts inappropriately.
It's okay to say: "I don't want to talk religion to you" and leave - if he sulks and acts offended, it's his immaturity, not yours.

I have never known a proselyte who has not become personally offended at being disbelieved or ignored.  Some have even "damned" me for denying that what they preach is supported by their Holy Scriptures, such as when people claim that Mary, the mother of Jesus, is worthy of worship and prayer.

This is unfortunately just endemic to being human. I've had long-running disagreements with my parents on certain aspects of my life, thankfully nothing as large as religion but it's interpretations they've had of decisions I've made which don't make direct contact with reality and for a while it seemed like they liked their version of a particular story so they stuck to it. I don't hear much about it anymore which does make me wonder if they've shifted out of their thinking on the particular issue I'm thinking of but yeah - with religion, politics, just about anything people get something fixed in their minds and once it's in there evidence to the contrary really doesn't get you that far.

Yeah, the show has a lot of clever ideas for a sitcom. It does mix some really dumb jokes in but the show has to be considered as a whole.

The worst part is his illness.

If he had something like paralysed legs and then became into the exact same religious ideas/solace, I'd think 'good for him'. And I'd debate him where I disagreed.

But in this case, I'm not sure how much is religion, how much is his illness etc. And how much that religion gives him solace and a support network (which I'm glad they're doing) versus scaring him that watching a horror movie or a TV show with a fictional afterlife will send me to hell.

I'm changing the subject and waiting. He's sending minor texts back.

I'm afraid to see him irl even without the virus cos this is far from his most dangerous behaviour.

He refuses to accept when he does something dangerous, let alone when he's wrong. I can't debate or get through to him even when it's something concrete.

Looks like some mental health issues...
One thing I've learned about dealing with people with mental issues are boundaries. Respecting or even loving someone is one thing. Letting them drag you into their craziness is something completely different.
It's particularily important in family.

I was going to say basically the same thing regarding setting boundaries.

Also when it comes to proselytizing to family members, the term "too close to home" comes to mind in conjunction with "a prophet is never welcome in his hometown".

Your dad should leave it up to someone else.