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New element discovered... (bipartisan)

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Sean
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11 Sep 2005, 3:33 am

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as the Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.



vetivert
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11 Sep 2005, 4:57 am

veeeeeeeeery good. i like it. :D



spacemonkey
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11 Sep 2005, 11:05 am

:lol: Very nice!


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Serissa
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11 Sep 2005, 2:53 pm

This needs to be in a textbook. The only question is whether to put it ina chemistry textbook or one more geared toward the social sciences.

OK, that's unrealistic- maybe a poster?



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13 Sep 2005, 7:46 am

I don't think many chem teacher would appreciate this one.... maybe a textbook about social studies or government might suit it better. Or, if it's in a chem book, it really needs to go on the periodic table. Here, we'll make a special place for it right on top of helium... ;)


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kevv729
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28 Sep 2005, 11:36 pm

Yeah this is about right.

ITS A GREAT ONE SEAN!! !

The Periodic Table of the Elements does not yet go that high SORRY TO SAY.



Mich
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02 Oct 2005, 1:00 pm

LOL

They did not tell us about that one in science.



CDRhom
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08 Nov 2005, 4:26 pm

*applauds*

May I quote this elsewhere?


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Sean
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09 Nov 2005, 1:19 am

CDRhom wrote:
*applauds*

May I quote this elsewhere?

Fine! :)



Soma
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09 Nov 2005, 3:43 am

So is it the symbols GV and AD then. What's the places on the Table then. :lol:


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Namiko
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09 Nov 2005, 8:55 am

Soma wrote:
So is it the symbols GV and AD then. What's the places on the Table then. :lol:


Non-existent. At the moment, there are not nearly enough places on the table (being only about a hundred and something) to include govermentium or administratium. However, I could see them being quite radioactive and very fun to use in explosive devices of any kind. :twisted:


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Soma
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10 Nov 2005, 12:56 am

It would be a political bombshell if used incorrectly though...


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aspiegirl2
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10 Nov 2005, 2:17 am

This does sound pretty funny.


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