An idiom used to describe politicians who are exploiting a disaster for their own political is "waving the red shirt" (or maybe it was cloth or handkerchief). The expression came from after Civil War, when politicians would provoke old anomicities and remind their constituents of their own service in the war. More recently, we have experienced the same thing after Tuesday, September 11, 2001.
Although I'm sure more than a few politicians have already exploited Hurricane Katrina, I'd like to be the first to set down a vision for the future, wrapped in the tattered cloth of death. (Note that this is a satire of politicians' unsavory inclinations.)
Not two weeks ago, we Americans were in shock and awe again. Our fellow citizens in New Orleans, Biloxi, Alabama, and elsewhere experienced unbearable loss. We unite in our sorrow, reminded that Nature is still our master. Yet it would be an affront to all those who list their lives in Hurricane Katrina's fury not to remedy the problem.
We must eradicate class distinctions now! President Bush doesn't care a drop for those who can't afford to help themselves. The rich escaped to higher ground, but the poor and mostly African-American community in New Orleans and Mississippi suffered untold deaths. This is wrong.
I propose rebuilding New Orleans as ten districts divided into ten neighborhoods each for a total of one hundred neighborhoods. Each district will exhibit a unique theme such as Maritime Adventure, Hurricane Harbor (a Six Flags-themed entertainment and residential district), the French Quarter, Bourbon, Dixie City, or Babylon. The architecture and parks in these districts will match the theme. New Orleans residents can opt for the district that best suits their tastes. Each district will elect its own mayor; the city as a whole will elect a coordinator and three councillors-at-large; the other councillors will be elected from among the district aldermen and alderwomen by the the aldermen and women themselves. New Orleans will raise revenue from imports, tourism, and the manufacture of tasty Bourbon whiskey. The prophets will be equally distributed among residents.
After New Orleans' success, the rest of the country will be reorganized along more progressive lines. Poverty, hunger, and disease will be universally abolished! All will work and play in unending happiness.
12 Sep 2005, 1:51 pm
