Virginity

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I am considering marriage, and one of my concerns is that my girlfriend says that if we do marry, we should have sex afterwords. On the other hand, I feel that even though it is allowed to have sex after marriage it is still better not to since you still "lose virginity" even though you are not sinning. So I feel sorry to "lose" something once and for all. Besides, the 144000 the bible talks about are virgins, so doesn't it mean that it is better to be virgin than not to be one, even if virginity is lost without sinning. It is also consistent with what Paul said that "it is good for a man not to marry" although "it is better to marry than to burn".

I have watched a movie the other day that is called "where the heart is". In that movie a woman had two little kids and they were both raped by their father. After they were raped they have shown a picture of torn teddy bear. This made me think that teddy bear symbolizes virginity. If so, why would I EVER want to kill it, even after I get married. This just makes me feel sorry for that teddy bear.

What especially touched me in that movie is that that teady bear didn't look dead but rather tortured. So, if I didn't know that there was rape or anything else going on, it would of looked like an expression of love that teady bear had for a child, that over many years it went through "so much" trying to protect the child. He was tired, exosted, even torn, but STILL so committed to the child. Given that this is how he looked like, it totally made me cry that the father actually did it TO him ON PURPOSE, and as far as his father is concern, the teady bear is dead which is why he didn't even care to take it away!

So, if I were to lose a virginity I would have similar thoughts. Perhaps virginty is not dead yet, but it is being TORTURED through sex, and then I would feel desperate to stop having sex in order to grasp at the straws that may be virginity can be saved. No matter how small the chance is, continuing torturing it through sex is like continuing torturing that teady bear that already went through so much.

My girlfriend tells me it is silly because virginity is not an alive object. If so, can you tell me what is it. What is the biblical view of virginity? I konw that virginity IS biblical concept since it says "the virgin will conceive ...". Furthermore, I also know that virginity is NOT only something a woman actually loses, but there are also MALE virgins, as in 144000. So, does virgin exist only as a verb, or is there a nown, virginity, that biblically exist. If so, is it a spirit? I know that catholics say that virginity is some light around a head. Do protestants believe that too? If not, what do protestants think virginity is? Is there a spiritual entity called virginity? If so, I would feel very bad to hurt that spirit.

Sounds like a joke to me.

the biblical view is to go forth and multiply. you can't do that without losing your virginity...normally.

There was once a "musician" called Tiny Tim, who sang in a falsetto voice while playing a ukelele. He married a woman called Miss Vicky, and objected when she came on to him on their wedding night, citing similar reasons as the OP in this thread.

Virginity is more of a conceptual status than a physical state of being. True, the loss of one's virginity requires a physical act, but nothing measureable is really lost.

Consider it a baptism of sorts, in that you perform a certain act to achieve a change in immaterial status.

I know virginity is spiriutal, but if anything this makes me feel even more sorry for it since that spirit of virginity might be beautiful and I hurt it.

The bible is BS when it comes to the topic of virginity.
There are so many contricitons that there is no answer.
It says thay the only good person is a virgin, but it tells you that you need to have children. We all can't be mary and have virgin births.

Children (or shall I say sons because they are the only gender that matters in the bible) are considered blessings, yet you have to commit sin to have one, and the woman is considered dirty after birth and have to undergo purification, a longer purification if the child is a girl.

Overall virginity is not sacred, the bible made it so because..... its the bible, it dosn't make any sense.
And the teddy bear scene you saw in the movie most likely had to do with the sin of incest rather then virginity.

^^not to mention that "virgin" Mary might have been only a mistranslation

People who didn't want to lose their virginity, and had any choice about it, used to become monks or nuns.

But I think that it is possible to recapture the most important, psychological/spiritual, element of "virginity" by practising celibacy, deliberately, for a period of time.

So even if you ( eventually/immediately ) felt unhappy about having lost it with your wife-to-be I believe that you could recover some, if not all, of the original sense of yourself as "untouched"/virgin, renewed, by not having sex for a while, several months/a year, or more.

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If you're in love, and considering marriage, then it's the key to a happy life. Chastity before marriage is important, not afterwards. Celibacy for life is only for those who wish to abstain from any kind of luxury and pleasure, and devote their lives purely for attaining salvation and nothing else. Since you do have a girlfriend, I don't think that's for you.

Get married, have sex, and bring forth a beautiful child.

Peace.

Due to influences of organized religion totally unrelated to the bible, I used to have deep obsessive thoughts as though I had to choose between god and sex. Sins that involve sex are only biblically outstanding because unlike lieing and stealing, they can involve your body in significant ways such as disease and pregnancy, and also a deep physical and emotional and spiritual connections.

The virginity of the 144000 extra special people in heaven is not what earned them that status, but it is one attribute they all share. Certainly more than 144000 men died as virgins. God chose some of them for some reason. Mary didn't have Jesus because she was a virgin, nor will any woman choose to have Jesus by staying a virgin. But Jesus mother had to be a virgin AND God chose Mary.

One of the things I noticed about virgins marrying is that they don't have to follow the nonverbal cues to have sex; it is assumed that they will have sex after getting married in the traditions I am familiar with regarding marriage, and if they do not, the marriage may be considered as incomplete as if "they left each other at the altar" in some situations.

Because virgin spouses do not necessarily need to use common sexual signals, they might create and share their own unique special world about sex instead, in which case the bond will be very strong between them and exclusive to everyone else. << This "special world concept" is my own independent hypothesis unless others agree it is their own experience.

yeah, it's called not getting laid.


it's a shame when religion does things like this.

(... grr ... must ... maintain ... civility ...)

You are asking the wrong person about "spiritual" matters. I suggest instead that you consult a pastor, priest, rabbi, imam, or your local psychic for further advice.

I think the effect is different if it, ( celibacy ), is done out of choice than because can't get laid.

I think that there is something potentially very powerful about first "intimate" bodily contact with another, and that if it doesn't work out, or if is done mechanically/absently/insensitively, etc, can be very alienating from one's own body or even sense of self, and take time to recover from.

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if it doesn't work out, practice makes perfect and you need to make sure to communicate what you like and what your partner wants and if neither knows then you should be patient and try different stuff. though just a warning: if a girl doesn't know how to masturbate, she most likely won't be able to tell the guy what she likes/what she wants.

But if the bodily contact/sex/whole experience is an "overload" practice isn't going to help, in fact it's going to make the "disconnection" even worse.
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not necessarily. i kinda overloaded the first few times i had sex and actually was too distracted to finish and eventually calmed down and appreciated it for what it was.