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Transgender buyer's remorse, aka "detransitioning"

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Mona Pereth
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19 Dec 2022, 10:50 am

Readydaer wrote:
This reminds me of totalitarianism; state over individual; which is usually regarded as bad. As a trans lady officially diagnosed with persisting gender dysphoria, I feel qualified to give my opinion on this: I can't play the game if I'm not on the right team. I simply can't. The mental repercussions from being on the wrong team would drive me to 'quitting' the 'game' if I couldn't be myself. Thankfully I am getting the treatment I need and am accepted on the girls' team, but the point is that a trans person simply could not play the game, or would play it with great difficulty, if they weren't on the right team. They (I) can't be a good sport or play well with others if they (I) aren't on the right team. I hope this clears it up a little

Thanks for your willingness to explain this.


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r00tb33r
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19 Dec 2022, 5:33 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
r00tb33r wrote:
^ More like which of the two teams you were randomly assigned to play for at the gym class. It's doesn't matter because you get to play the same game either way.

Not a good analogy. Alas, men and women do not get to play the exact same game either way.

It seems to me that it's more analogous to being assigned to the wrong game, or to the wrong role within the game (e.g., in baseball, someone who's a decent pitcher but a lousy catcher being assigned to be catcher).

I think this is just about entirely false in the contemporary society.

Both men and women:
sleep in a bed
brush teeth
use the toilet
wear clothes, shoes
shower
eat same breakfast
go to school and learn
work
vote in elections
pay taxes
drive a car
go to a store to buy groceries
cook
have families, with equal responsibilities
have friends
have problems and solve them
born, grow up, get old, and die

99.9% the same. 99.9% of life is gender-neutral.

I think I've made my point.

This is also why the subject of the 0.1% is unpalatable when we're entirely preoccupied with the 99.9% of the daily life.

Mona Pereth wrote:
Readydaer wrote:
This reminds me of totalitarianism; state over individual; which is usually regarded as bad. As a trans lady officially diagnosed with persisting gender dysphoria, I feel qualified to give my opinion on this: I can't play the game if I'm not on the right team. I simply can't. The mental repercussions from being on the wrong team would drive me to 'quitting' the 'game' if I couldn't be myself. Thankfully I am getting the treatment I need and am accepted on the girls' team, but the point is that a trans person simply could not play the game, or would play it with great difficulty, if they weren't on the right team. They (I) can't be a good sport or play well with others if they (I) aren't on the right team. I hope this clears it up a little

Thanks for your willingness to explain this.

That's an explanation from the patient's point of view. It likely fails to account for the fact that whichever specialist diagnosed them had a significant financial interest in doing so. By making the problem worse they guarantee themselves and their colleagues financial nourishment for years to come.

What I'm not seeing is adequate efforts at helping people being at peace with the vessel (the body) they inhabit, as otherwise life is all the same, as I demonstrated above.

This is exactly what the OP article of this news section thread is concerned with. A transgender person feeling scammed by the conflict of interest between the patient and the specialist.

Healthy people don't make good customers for doctors. That's just common sense.



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19 Dec 2022, 6:38 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
That's an explanation from the patient's point of view. It likely fails to account for the fact that whichever specialist diagnosed them had a significant financial interest in doing so. By making the problem worse they guarantee themselves and their colleagues financial nourishment for years to come.

Gender specialists have no need to artificially inflate their customer base. Waiting lists are much more than long enough as is, at least in most places.

The transgender community/movement has been built primarily by trans people themselves, not by their doctors.

Perhaps, in some places, there is now too little screening, whereas previously there was too much. The transgender community has reacted strongly against "gatekeeping," which in the past may have been overly strict. Only time will tell what the optimum amount and kind of "gatekeeping" is, to ensure both that those people who really need to change their gender can so so, and that as few people as possible receive treatments they eventually regret.


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Pepe
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19 Dec 2022, 7:00 pm

KitLily wrote:
Pepe wrote:
KitLily wrote:

I am not sure if I feel human or not. I don't think so, because every human I know is very different from me, there is no one like me and I never fit in, anywhere. I'm not sure I want to be human anyway. They seem like a spiteful, aggressive bunch of people who always push me away and don't help me when I'm struggling. I've tried so hard to be friendly, kind, helpful but they generally just exclude me or make fun of me.

I often wonder if autistic people are just another branch of homo sapien and just have different brains to the general type of homo sapien.


You are autistic.
Being unique is your job description.

Well, that is how I see it.



But am I autistic? I was diagnosed over Zoom/whatever it was during the pandemic, the assessors never even met me. Of course, you were not to know that Pepe.

I suspect I'm just a random weirdo.

But in general, humans seem to be a pretty nasty bunch.


Overwhelmingly, ppl who post on this autistic website are autistic, hence my assumption.
Yes, there are non-autistic weirdos out there too. ;)



Pepe
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19 Dec 2022, 7:03 pm

Persephone29 wrote:
I'm off topic and playing devil's advocate, mostly because it's happening where I live too. I have a heart for the underdog.


"Traditional" autistic ppl do. 8)



Pepe
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19 Dec 2022, 7:05 pm

Readydaer wrote:
r00tb33r wrote:
^ More like which of the two teams you were randomly assigned to play for at the gym class. It's doesn't matter because you get to play the same game either way.

...But some whine about not being happy with it anyway.

It's all about being a good sport about it and playing well with others.




This reminds me of totalitarianism; state over individual; which is usually regarded as bad. As a trans lady officially diagnosed with persisting gender dysphoria, I feel qualified to give my opinion on this: I can't play the game if I'm not on the right team. I simply can't. The mental repercussions from being on the wrong team would drive me to 'quitting' the 'game' if I couldn't be myself. Thankfully I am getting the treatment I need and am accepted on the girls' team, but the point is that a trans person simply could not play the game, or would play it with great difficulty, if they weren't on the right team. They (I) can't be a good sport or play well with others if they (I) aren't on the right team. I hope this clears it up a little


Are you autistic as well as trans?
Many autistic ppl "mask" to fit into NT mainstream society.
Just saying. ;)



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19 Dec 2022, 7:15 pm

goldfish21 wrote:

In my observations, it's much more important to people who don't fit the societal expectation of a gender binary - cis-male/cis-female, and largely because of how they're treated by other people.


When I was younger, many, many ppl thought I was gay because I refused to take on the "masculine persona".
I essentially laughed it off and thought the problem was theirs.
"How dare I treat both men and women with respect, openness, and honesty in a similar manner." 8O :lmao:

Half the men I met thought I was gay.
Half the women I met thought I was trying to "crack onto them".
Apparently, open honesty is a big no no in NT society.
Go figure. :?

Meh, it is all in the past.
I am happy with my life as a suburban hermit in RL.

As my grandpappy skunk used to say:
"Most pain comes from other people...
Reason would suggest avoiding most ppl..." :wink:



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19 Dec 2022, 9:17 pm

I had people assume that I wasn't straight. They were absolutely correct in my case though. I find it funny when people are surprised these days. Doesn't happen very often, usually the response is "Oh, OK", "Dammit now I owe someone money" or "Well obviously / this isn't news". However, I do every so often get the reply "But you're too pretty / feminine to be gay!", "No you're not" or "Huh, I just assumed you were bisexual, so I guess I was close, surprised at gay though".

Back when I was in the closet, I had a girl remark that I come across more like a feminine gay man in personality than a straight woman. Occasionally I randomly think about that conversation.


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Pepe
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20 Dec 2022, 12:41 am

Lost_dragon wrote:
I had people assume that I wasn't straight. They were absolutely correct in my case though. I find it funny when people are surprised these days. Doesn't happen very often, usually the response is "Oh, OK", "Dammit now I owe someone money" or "Well obviously / this isn't news". However, I do every so often get the reply "But you're too pretty / feminine to be gay!", "No you're not" or "Huh, I just assumed you were bisexual, so I guess I was close, surprised at gay though".

Back when I was in the closet, I had a girl remark that I come across more like a feminine gay man in personality than a straight woman. Occasionally I randomly think about that conversation.


As you know, I find these gender topics more than a little confusing and can't keep up with all the changes.
I will leave it to the "experts". 8)



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20 Dec 2022, 11:31 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Yes. Radically redoing the plumbing of your body is not like getting a haircut. There ought to be laws against having it done below some age cutoff...like 21. And even then the person still sometimes gets 'buyer's remorse'.



I get that, and I understand the serious nature of the surgery along with risks involved.
The problem is that it's much, much harder to modify a body or a hormonal system post-puberty.
When the surgery is done that late, people often look ... like it was botched (It looks wrong or ineffective.)
It's also torture for some people to wait 21 years in emotional agony.

My cousin's child transitioned medically during the height of Covid.
It was a years-long process of being scrutinised by psychologists and doctors.
They were in their 30's and said they had known since pre-Kindergarten.

I see both sides of the argument whether water is wet or not. (Jokes.)


I guess that- you cant win for loosing. You cant transition until you're too old to do it. Though Chris Jenner did it fine quite late in life.



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20 Dec 2022, 11:47 am

Have you ever seen the show All About Jazz?


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20 Dec 2022, 12:00 pm

yup..yup as usual everyso often my posts to a thread have vanished once again . Hmm.. wonders, if critiquing
PePe is disallowed here . in addition to opinions on transitioning peoples genders . ( am a neutral party on the issue)


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KitLily
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20 Dec 2022, 12:25 pm

Pepe wrote:
Overwhelmingly, ppl who post on this autistic website are autistic, hence my assumption.
Yes, there are non-autistic weirdos out there too. ;)


Yes, I'm assuming I'm autistic and should post on WP but who knows. There's a heck of a lot of things autistic people do and talk about that I don't. I suppose I will never know for sure.


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KitLily
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20 Dec 2022, 12:28 pm

magz wrote:
When I was in north England countryside in 2003, people were really nice, you could have a polite conversation even with a worker mowing the town greens. I was impressed and I wanted my own country to be like that.
I heard things worsened a lot since then.


Yes, people were nicer in 2003 and also the more north and west you go in England, the nicer people are. In the south and east people are a lot less nice. I'm not sure why this is, I think it is because in the north and west people have lived there for generations, but the south and east is full of wannabe Londoners and commuters to London. If places are full of commuters, they don't bother making communities where they live.

Just what I think anyway, could be wrong. But the friendliness of people in different areas is noticeable.


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20 Dec 2022, 12:33 pm

Persephone29 wrote:
I went to London, England in 2003. It was an enjoyable but very crowded experience, then. If what the news reports regarding immigration is true, it would be crammed cheek and jowl now.


Yes London is busy but the rest of England is not. The news reports are exaggerating in order to turn us against 'foreigners' and 'immigrants.' :roll:

Britain's population is about 68 million. Immigration in 2022 was 1 million according to Reuters. This includes the unprecedented numbers of Ukrainians due to the war, and Hong Kong British nationals, who were invited, so it was a higher year than normal.


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20 Dec 2022, 12:41 pm

So what if you happen to be “not” autistic, Lily. And so what if you are.

No matter what, you’re still an excellent member here.